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Review Requests: ON
723 Public Reviews Given
723 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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Review of Saved By A Bug  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season's greetings,

An amusing anecdote about locking one's keys in the car. As I began I wasn't sure if it would be a story about your eye exam; I thought perhaps they would unexpectedly give you those eye drops that make it impossible to drive.

I enjoyed all the little details about the cranky Beetle and your complicated efforts to retrieve your spare key. Everything was so much more difficult back then - but if you called AAA nowadays there's a good chance you'd have a several hours wait on your hands! Progress...

I have only one suggestion to make; this was well written and easy to read. Perhaps you would want to choose three relevant genres for the story so others can find and enjoy it more easily. I would offer "Personal," "Experience," "Community" or "Comedy."

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*
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252
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I know this is just a quick rundown of the background and setting for your story plans. You've done a good job of gathering information and laying it out for future reference. If you want you can always "privatize" the file so it's just something for you. That way it can be as sloppy as you like *Smile*

I'm looking forward to the adventures in this world; I've noticed you have a pretty good handle on physics and chemistry (that QOTD with the book titles was almost over my head *Laugh*) so whatever you write will be based in presumable reality, like The Martian. (That was so minutely detailed and scientifically based, I had a hard time reminding myself it didn't actually take place when I was done reading it!)

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Heartb*

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253
253
Review of Come Again?  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,

I saw your quote on the Newsfeed and thought it looked interesting, albeit a bit flowery *Laugh*

A nice little story we have here... Is it a contest entry by any chance, or just something from your head?

I wasn't sure if it would be a little plodding at first, and I was also afraid it would be overly sardonic considering the demise of Christianity in the UK lately, but it's written with warm humor and a touch of holiday charm.

It seems to set us up for a sequel, as we wonder who exactly Sophia is (perhaps someone who died recently?) and what awaits the good priest and his community. Reads like an old-fashioned Christmas fable about orphans and vicarages.

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb* *Snow3*


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254
254
Review of Nosferatu  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

A spooky and surreal free verse poem, carefully structured and displayed very tidily on the page.

I would first suggest changing the primary genre from "adult" to perhaps "dark" because "adult" generally means "R rated" content.

It appears to be an image of someone who has risen above the crowds of group thinkers and found a sense of understanding of what lies outside the boundaries of reality.

This figure sees destruction coming for those who are as yet unaware of this strange sort of gnosis or hidden knowledge.

It employs the name of a vampire, which I am unsure of the significance of (lacking any particular familiarity with vampire lore) but seems to tie the whole thing together.

An eerie and well written poem that lingers in the mind.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Quill* *Heartbl*


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255
Review of The Spoils of War  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for requesting a review.

A sad and striking poem mourning the loss, not of a young soldier's life but of his soul. He returns, but in what mental shape? Haunted by the ghosts of what happened overseas, he can no longer enjoy life.

Your meter seemed to slip in some places as I read; perhaps adding a word here and there to fill out the lines would help balance the flow. I'm not the type to count syllables and tell you what's missing; one can develop a pretty good "ear" for it, perhaps by reading it aloud.

Speaking of which, it's a coincidence that I was chilling with some John Fogerty earlier this evening; your poem feels almost like one of his songs: simple, folksy and lyrical, with an antiwar theme.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartbl*


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256
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Joey *Smile*

A gentle and charming sonnet about giving thanks, with the added interest of being from a Florida perspective.

You have good rhythm and flow (don't expect me to count your syllables *Laugh*) and it reads quite well.

I'll remark that in my Florida experience, the bald cypresses do in fact turn color and shower their needles upon us. And the crepe myrtles each decide individually whether to go dormant or to bloom wildly over the winter. And leaves tend to fall at any given time of year; I remember vacationing in Naples in the spring and being quite disconcerted to see swirls of dead leaves and yellowing/dying palm trees. It was my first spring outside of Tennessee in many years, and I couldn't help thinking of the glorious redbuds, Bradford pears, irises, hyacinths and other temperate floral delights I was missing. But I'm a born botanist, so just ignore that *FlowerP* *Leaf2G*

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this. You're getting better at writing poetry.

You could add a third genre, perhaps "personal" or "community." I like the large Comic font in bold and colored; it's always nicer to see than a plain "vanilla" default text.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Hearto*


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257
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

Here's the review you requested *Smile*

First I should say I have very little cultural literacy in that regard, so Under Milk Wood might as well be Under the Milky Way *Laugh*

You've handled the script juggling pretty well; I followed along well enough, except perhaps for the shift from Sinbad Sailor and his late granny to Captain Cat noticing the stranger at the other lady's door.

I like the situation setup; nothing like a mysterious stranger in a small town to set things spinning. It feels like a combination of Agatha Christie, Roald Dahl and those old minimalist absurdist plays like Waiting For Godot.

It did feel a bit desultory, but I should talk; the story I'm working on now is incredibly desultory and I shall have to take a weed whacker to it when I'm done with the first draft *Rolling*

Anyway, a nifty introduction to what could have potential if you cared to continue with it. I don't know how much it's riffing off of the original, but you could spin away from the narrative and make some fanfiction if you liked.

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Quill* *Hearto*



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258
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A striking and memorable free verse poem describing the channeling of one’s own deepest emotions in the voice of thunder. I greatly appreciate this as it is similar to my own experiences with catharsis through music and writing.

You have written with a balance of long and short lines which draws the eye down through your work comfortably and engagingly. I would recommend using a larger font size to give the words more impact on the page.

I like the quiet conversational flow of the writing, and your theme is a universal one that is important to express.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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259
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, this is a story I can get behind all the way. Your imagery, warmly sympathetic descriptions and overall theme are so beautiful and relatable. I love it.

I’ll get the technical stuff out of the way first. I would highly recommend you choose a larger font size for your stories, because the default is quite small and creates a cramped, overlong and boring feel. I personally prefer using font size 4 for my stories. I would also recommend you create or find a beautiful cover art for this story in particular. That makes a big difference in presentation and helps draw the eye to your item when people are deciding what to read. I like using square images best because they utilize the given area most effectively. I use the AI art generator Wombo Dream for all of the images in my portfolio; I’m quite happy with what I create with it, and it’s free to use.

The story is charming and engaging, as we see Jasmine struggling with a suffocating memory that blocks her creative flow because she is unsure of how to deal with it. Your autumn theme and familiar settings are easy to imagine, and I love the solution of taking her memories and forming a children’s book with a helpful message out of them. The supporting character has a lovely name that adds to the overall charming atmosphere of the item.

This is relatable for me because I as a writer tend to naturally employ and channel a lot of personal feelings and memories and strange emotions into my work, with the understanding that bringing such things to light and letting myself create something beautiful out of them, or at least something that others can appreciate, is healthier than letting it all ferment in my head.

Thank you very much for writing and sharing this with us. I’m happy to find it.
Take care, happy holidays and keep on writing *Smile* *Hearto*

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260
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A darkly humorous, morbid and Poevian tale. I have to admit I did not particularly enjoy it, but objectively speaking it is well written and unsettling if one were inclined to take it seriously.

I should point out a minor typo at the sentence “fix that bookshelf for more than year” the article is missing.

I read this from your portfolio out of curiosity to compare it with a similar story that Edgar Allen Poe himself wrote. He, however, made it one of his rare stories with a lighter hearted ending, which I greatly appreciated at my younger age.

Your descriptions are haunting and exaggerated and realistic at the same time, right down to the Pennsylvania law code. One point of horror writing is to play on one’s deepest fears and bring them to light, as well as to take normal/universal experiences and twist them into something frightful. You’ve done a good job with both, and I can’t help but chuckle a little at the end where Andrew catches his late friend’s “disease” and sets off down a similar obsessive path.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartbl*

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261
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Joey,

A nice poem we have here. I like how you centered it on the page; that helps it flow nicely. I see you also chose three relevant genres for it.

The theme is simple and trite but certainly appreciated. WdC means a lot to all of us or we wouldn't be here. It's a place to hang out, advance one's writing skills, make meaningful online connections and have fun.

You have good rhyme, meter and flow, at least as far as I can tell. No suggestions for improvement.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Hearto*


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262
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Autumn greetings *Hearto*

A whimsical, cheeky personification of a mirror. It doesn't have the sappy sentimentality of some mirror poetry/stories I've read, rather giving the mirror an attitude somewhat reflective of the person looking into it.

I think I see a pun in "dumb show," as the word "dumb" in the UK presumably still carries the meaning of "silent" and a mirror can't actually speak to you, only mutely move the lips.

The reference to Alice in Through the Looking Glass is to be expected. The final image of someone standing disconsolately in front of their mirror, arguing with it as it were, is amusing and makes one think a little about self-image.

I noticed your poetry book doesn't have any genres attached. I'm not sure what the rules are for Quill nominations for a book and the entries therein, but I think it would be a good idea if you chose some vaguely suitable genres such as "arts," "writing," or "entertainment."

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

It's me again *Laugh*

I like the simple conversational flow of this poem and find you managed to juggle the format requirements without being too clumsy.

The thought is uplifting in multiple ways, as we all would like to have that blissful escape from reality, where we can look at everything from above and simply love it without the hassle.

The repetition of "far, far below" and "far, far above" adds poetic balance to it. I like that you explained the rules for your chosen poem structure at the bottom.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I'm here to review your three recent poems *Smile*

I have a hard time finding fault with poetry generally, because I view it as a highly subjective form of artistic expression. Personally I dislike fussing over syllable counts, formats and meters, preferring to wing it from instinct.

I love the subtle holiday theme of your poem, reminding us to seek peace and listen for the still small voice in the hustle and bustle of this season.

The lines are balanced between shorter thoughts and longer ones, breaking naturally and flowing along well. I appreciate the symmetry at the end of "know your enemies" and "know your friends," and the signoff of "know thyself" ties it all up neatly.

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of Rain Boy  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I saw your response on your blog and figured I'd stop by this story *Smile*

I can see how it began as a fairly mundane description of something which perhaps you observed in real life, and then your imagination took flight as surprisingly as the boy himself did.

It's always good to see something written without dialogue; I consider myself a "dialogue driven" writer, feeling as though interactions between characters move the story along better than a "sympathetic" or telling narrator, which is something I find myself doing either when I need to get a story down quickly or am not feeling particularly inspired.

But you avoided the pitfalls and merely described as a witness, from the outside, showing us the scene without presuming to delve into anyone's thoughts.

The ending was interesting, an unexpected yet satisfying plunge into fantasy.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartb*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello and welcome to Writing.com *Wave*

I found this in the "read a newbie" section of the sidebar.

What a brief and endearing story. You've created a touching memorial to a relationship that will last forever in the young lady's heart and also in ours.

I can't help wondering why you chose the two genres you did; if this is "fanfiction", I fail to recognize what fictional series it is based on or inspired by. Also, it is not "tragedy" so much as perhaps "emotional," "experience" or "relationship."

I like your simple style of narrating; you tell more than show, but it suits the almost fairytale type of story. I never thought much about show versus tell in my own writing; I have a tendency to write in simplistic narrative cliches to move a story along.

It's always helpful to include a word count in the subtitle so people understand what they're getting into; most find it easier to read shorter items and would appreciate knowing the length ahead of time.

Thank you for sharing. Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*

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Review of Writing.Com 101  
for entry "AwardIcons" 
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

This appeared using the Random Read and Review button, rather to my surprise.

I love how clear and in-depth it is, explaining every possible aspect of the Award Icon system.

I've been awarded a number of these myself since joining, and each one is precious because of the people and stories behind them. I'll take this opportunity to sing the praises of WdC once more; it's a wonderful, kind and generous social media alternative where a writer can flourish and feel safe and welcomed.

Thank you for investing your lives in this incredible online community. I'm proud to be a member.

Take care and keep up the good work *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

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Review of In Dreams I See  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Thank you for requesting a review *Smile*

I see you recently adjusted the formatting on this, and it really helps. I love the italic separation of your dream from the sad reality, and the indent of alternate lines. It improves the flow and look of the item.

You have the art of repetition down well, with the opening and closing lines linking the poem together like a song.

The theme is sad, wistful and relatable, as we imagine life with our loved ones the way it should be and realize how difficult it might be to get there in real life.

I might suggest picking a third genre for the item; everyone says I need to remind people about that and give them at least three reasons... But I can remember two at best *Laugh* It's not eligible for a Quill, being an older item, but a third genre will help people find it when they're browsing categories. Perhaps "Relationship" or "Emotional" or "Friendship" would do.

Take care and keep writing *Heartb**Quill*
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
Here's the review you requested.

I found this slightly tedious to read, first of all; it seemed somewhat repetitive. Perhaps a word count announced at the beginning of in the subtitle would help people deciding when they have an opportunity to read it.

Your advice is sensitive and sensible, though a bit loose and scattered.
Maybe a little more organization, into micro chapters with underlined headers, and bulleting lists of things, would make it flow better and be less of an endless text block.

Also, I noticed you switch back and forth from addressing men to addressing women. Maybe you could separate the two or combine it to where the gender is neutral.

Overall this is some very wholesome advice for love and relationships. I did enjoy reading it despite the length.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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Review of Somehow  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
Thank you for requesting a review.

A quiet, introspective poem that meditates on the possibility of finding someone to love after finally realizing the best way to love someone.

I like the careful symmetry of it, the refrain at the end of each verse, and the way you modify it slightly at the very end to indicate the continuing journey.

I will offer my usual suggestions about formatting: larger font, centered text, perhaps a color or different font style.

Aside from that I don't see anything to change about it. It traces one's path of maturity and understanding with an old-fashioned simplicity and charm.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*

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Review of On the Other Side  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A lovely little poem *InLove2*

I know how you struggle with poetry, Joey. You’ve done a nice job with this one. I like the flow, meter, and rhyme, and your feelings, born of experience, are sincere and elegant.

The only problem is… you’ve entered it into a free verse contest, and yet it rhymes and appears to have a meter of some sort. But don’t ask me; I’m clueless about meter. I hate counting syllables, and figuring out stressed and unstressed is even worse. I write poetry mainly by instinct, somehow picking out a meter I like and roughly matching it as best I can when I’m rhyming (as if writing a song… but that’s a whole different kettle of fish, let me tell you*Laugh*), or striving for a looser, more conversational flow when doing free verse. It took a long time before I remembered that a poem can have a meter and not rhyme, like Frost’s Mending Wall. Conversely, I assume a poem can also rhyme without meter… right?

We’ll see what the judge says. At any rate, take care and keep writing *HeartB*
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

This is a useful poll for causing one to consider one's reasons for reviewing. I try to only review items that I enjoyed reading, because if it's something I didn't like I'll have a difficult time approaching the review objectively.

I will review items I find on the sidebars or in the plug pages, or when someone announces a work in the newsfeed, but only if I think I'll like it. Rarely, when I'm finished with an item I'll skip a review because I don't feel like I have anything to contribute, but since I've been here I'm happy to say that at least 99% of what I read I do review.

If I know the author, it's easier to read more items from them because I know their style and trust them. Joey's Spring has Sprung for instance is a good friend of mine, and he also gives generous auto rewards, so I read and review almost everything he posts since I've shown up here. I also enjoy the writing of D. Reed Whittaker and will review his work whenever I have a chance.

Thanks for posting this. Take care and keep writing *Heartb*

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Review of The House Elf  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, this was a glorious, charming tale.

I love the fact that Charlotte had a dollhouse for Rebecca; it makes perfect sense.

Their characters are well formed, each desperately trying to keep their strange secret.

The elves are so nice. This would make a great children's book series, because you've set up lots of potential backstory and sequels. I'd love to see Billy, Charlotte, Rebecca and Theodore having adventures together.

When I saw the title I thought it might be a cheesy story about The Elf on the Shelf, but your original publication date is too early for that. You've created a great fantasy world here.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*

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Review of Newbies Corner  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,
You are receiving a magical review as part of your gift package through the Magical Gift Shop*Smile*

This is such a help for those of us who have recently joined. I looked through it and found an article about signature blocks, which I didn't know exist. I thought the only way to access a sig image is to post the image number whenever you write.

I noticed you have Lilli's What Should I Do listed twice.
And perhaps all the Angel Army resources should be grouped together in their own category.

Also there's a spare {bitem fragment between What Should I Do First by Tiggy and the Getting Started: Table of Contents by the StoryMistress.

Aside from that it's very tidy and easy to scroll through.

Thanks for keeping this important list available; it's quite useful and greatly appreciated.

Take care *HeartT*
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Review of Enough  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

Here's the review you requested*Smile*

I like how brief and simple this is, like song lyrics. A sincere expression of one's concern about being enough to keep their significant other happy.

In formatting, I think you have some extra space above the beginning of the words. Perhaps you can improve the appearance and make it look less "brief" or "incidental" by centering the words and selecting a larger font size, different font style, and perhaps color as well.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartt*

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