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Review Requests: ON
711 Public Reviews Given
711 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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Review of Deadline Looming  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Season’s greetings,

This was a good read. I’m happy that you were able to handle the challenging situation well. It’s an inspiration for those of us who are terrified of public speaking - or even of speaking in general *Laugh*

I would suggest choosing a larger font size for your text; I like to use size 3.5 or 4 myself. It makes the story feel more engaging and is also easier to read for elderly people or those with poor eyesight.

Being as this is a personal story, I have a hard time making any suggestions for improvement in the way I might with fiction, because it’s your voice and you can say it how you please.

Perhaps the first sentence could be restructured to introduce the situation in a more clear way, but we understand quickly enough what’s going on, and when the sentence repeats at the end it ties together in a satisfying way.

I don’t see any serious grammar issues or typos. Your voice comes through with sincerity and simplicity.

You can offset the notes at the beginning and end in a smaller size font so the presentation is tidier.

Thank you for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*
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Review of Chocolate  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season’s greetings,

I enjoyed reading this upbeat little poem about chocolate. It conveys your feelings about the food in question with unmistakable clarity and slightly exaggerated humor. The rhyming of “chocoholic” and “frolic” is creative.

Your detailed explanation of which poetic form you’ve chosen is helpful and greatly appreciated. I never pay much attention to syllable counts and structures myself, and it’s always good to be able to see how it’s done.

I would recommend adding two standard genres for the item, maybe “entertainment” and “personal”. They don’t have to be an exact match.

Thanks for sharing. Now I have a hankering for chocolate *Laugh*
Take care and keep writing *Smile*
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228
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello again,

I'm a music lover, and this parody got a good chuckle out of me. I recognize so much of the style of music critics and "informative" articles in it. As a fan of an unbelievably popular band which shall remain unnamed (hint: it's connected to that MB I just sent you) I'm familiar with the amount of flack musicians can get despite their tracks blowing up the charts, and I've even accused a critic of being high myself in my music journal.

The puns keep us on our toes, from the list of critters influenced by the Frog band to the name of the heaviest metal band leader, Krangsnarl *Rolling*

The footnotes add to the parody effect, as those are often added to articles. And you've sprinkled enough familiar names in to give it a facsimile of realism. (What sort of critter is a Barry Manilow?) And the observation about the churches taking offense is relatable. They just don't get it! *Laugh* And I caught the multiple puns and references in "wandering pig"... From Bacon to Canned Heat (Mom loves Goin Up the Country.)

Your grammar and mechanics leave nothing to be corrected, and I can't think of any way to make this rollicking item any better.

This hit home for me in a fun and enjoyable way as a music nerd.

Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Guitar* *Quill*


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229
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Season's greetings,

While checking your Trophy Room I saw several items I'd be interested in reading, and this was one of them.

A charming spin on those "Irish blessing" type of things. You've included humor in every sentence, from explaining who wrote the book to the accurate description of those old bookshops (little mom and pop thrift stores are like that too).

At this point I feel like I know you... Any chance Budleigh Salterton is where you live? *Laugh* it crops up often in your writing.

I can't think of any suggestions to make except perhaps to choose a third relevant genre. "Spiritual" or "Entertainment" might do.

Thanks for being here to brighten our days with your humor. It's much appreciated.

Take care and keep writing *Smile* *Quill*

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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Season's greetings, Johnny,

I liked how brief this is; it's always nice to have a quick little flash fiction that shows us a life with a few words.

I see you've included the word count in the subtitle, which is good for helping people decide to read it.

You've also picked three genres, which is always encouraged so people can find the item when they're searching, and also helps for Quill nominations...

I like the repetition of the phrase "Sam hated Christmas," - oh, you used the wrong word for "steak." Just realized what you meant.

It's a little reminder that not everyone has a cute corny Christmas. We all have different lives; some people may not celebrate Christmas at all, others struggle with various hardships that make it an unhappy time of year.

Thanks for sharing, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and keep writing *HeartT*


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231
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season's greetings,

A heavy and emotional poem contemplating one's existence.
The opening line reminds me of the opening of William Ernest Henley's Invictus.

It flows lyrically and feels like a song to be set to music, with the repetition of lines and the balanced meter.

I like the choice of words and the metaphor of the road and running away from oneself. I am reminded of the old saying "wherever you go, there you are." One's internal struggles cannot be escaped by a change of scenery.

I'm easygoing when it comes to the rules of poetry, so don't really have any suggestions for improvement or modifications.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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232
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Season's greetings,

I enjoyed this playful lesson on shopping etiquette. I never considered that men might have a harder time handling their carts in the grocery store than women; these days it's so crowded and it seems like nobody knows what to do with carts *Laugh*

You organized it tidily, with six rules for dealing with different shopping situations, from how to move aside for someone else to how to pacify the little ones with a donut.

I don't see any corrections to be made. Looks good on mobile—I don't know what size font you've used, perhaps you can make it larger if it's the default size.

Perhaps you would want to select two additional genres for the item to make it easier to find and read. I would suggest "Experience" and even "Self Help," or "Entertainment" or "Family" or "Community."

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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233
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

A brief and quietly emotional poem, describing the feeling of not being able to tell someone how much they mean to you before it was too late.

I noticed there is no punctuation at all, which is interesting. I might suggest adding a question mark at the beginning "how was I to know?" But that might ruin it.

I'm quite laid-back when it comes to poetry, especially free verse, and I find little here to criticize. You have it nicely centered and balanced on the page, and the note at the end is helpful.

Thanks for sharing, take care, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*


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Review of The Chair  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well...

I'm not exactly sure what I just read. It feels a bit like something one would write when they're high, and yet I do think I understand what you're getting at.

Poor Oswald almost grasped the meaning of life as he sat in his armchair, but it slipped away from him. I get the feeling that there may be many people whose lives are literally like that, forced to just sit and stare at the wall and contemplate for whatever reason: elderly people in nursing homes, people in solitary confinement, in prisons, hospitals, and other such places. But Oswald apparently has the free will to go out and live life, yet he chooses to remain still and passive.

I take this story as a reminder to not let life roll by, because at some point it will be gone and you won't even have time to realize that you have accomplished nothing in your attempt to "figure things out" before you begin.

I noticed a couple of typos:

• anybody who knows anything about the meaning life
• Oswald became truly alive for the fist time in his life...

When you opened that paragraph with "anybody who knows anything about the meaning [of] life..." I thought it was sardonic at first, that you were saying the meaning of life is found by living it, not by sitting around thinking about it. But I'm not sure whether that was meant sarcastically or not.

I like how the opening and closing paragraphs balance each other, the final one drawing in language from earlier in the story.

I'm puzzled that you didn't select a single genre for the item. I would suggest "Philosophy," "Psychology" and "Self Help," but you can feel free to run down the list yourself and choose some. It helps others find your item when they're looking for something to read.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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Review of Haze  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Another fine flash fiction. I'm glad the child awakened... And I would suggest changing the third genre from "Tragedy" to perhaps "Family" accordingly.

I would think with the word "tornado" and the story you have here, you wouldn't need to invent an address to include the word. That seems a bit pointless. Also the word "non-descriptive" you chose should probably be "nondescript." There's a difference.

I did enjoy this story. It's always good to have a quick dose of fiction to make the day more interesting.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I liked this quiet little piece. It's sad but in a good enough way, building the atmosphere of a poor Appalachian family with only 300 words.

I don't see any typos or other errors. I would suggest picking a third genre for it since the contest is over. Perhaps "emotional," "community," or "dark" would be ok.

You're good with the flash fiction, which is nice to read but I can't always think of a lot to say about it *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile*


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237
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An amusing piece of flash fiction. The irony of the situation is well thought in few words.

I see you selected three appropriate genres for the item and included the prompt which you were required to use.

I don't have much to say about this story, as it's fairly simple: a man needs to retrieve his laptop and finds that his competition is in the same situation. Desperate times, indeed.

No typos or other simple errors. On mobile I'm not sure what font size you used, but I generally recommend choosing larger than the default so that it's easier to read on desktop.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season's greetings,

I love a good flash fiction, and one that's a lighthearted kid-friendly item is a plus.

This is a humorous and enjoyable item that makes words come alive and argue with the author, jostling for that coveted spot in the story being written.

I love the sprinkling of emojis throughout to add feeling, and the final frustration of the would-be author as they resume their day job is relatable.

I'll have to look through your port, it appears to be the kind of work I appreciate.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartt*


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Review of Connections  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to Writing.com! *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

I love the metaphor you chose of the falling leaves as a way to view life. It’s relatable and easy to picture. My first thought when I noticed the subtitle is that you probably meant to say “the collisions we have with others” rather than “collusions,” which is what Trump is accused of doing… *Laugh*

Another suggestion I would make is to choose a larger font size… I don’t notice it much on mobile, but on desktop the default size is quite small and gives everything a rather crowded, “bland” and “boring“ look. I like to go with size 3 or up to engage the eye and make it easier on the older folks who enjoy this site.

Back to the content of your poem… I sense a Nihilist sort of mood with the final thoughts, but overall it’s fairly optimistic in that we all feel better about our problems when we can share the experience with someone who understands, and knowing that we’ll all meet the same fate one way or another is somewhat comforting… I like your old-fashioned use of the word “purchase” as a word for grip; I haven’t seen it used that way since, IDK, Robert Louis Stevenson?

I’m a poet myself, but a very liberal one in that I don’t bother using meter, counting syllables or aligning to forms. I consider poetry to be a subjective art form where just about anything goes as long as you put thought and care into it.

This is an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Quill* *HeartT*



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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello again *Wave*

A sharp and poignant scene is painted here of a classic Cinderella situation. We feel deeply for Shayne and hope there will be a happy ending.

Perhaps you would like to add a note at the bottom, of which contest and prompt you have written this for. That would be helpful in the future when you look over your items, and it's always nice for others to see how well you've handled the prompt.

Also, it's generally recommended to choose three relevant genres, rather than simply "contest entry." Your third genre could be "Environment" or "Community" or "Folklore" or "Drama" or "Emotional"... It's ok to pick one that may be a slight stretch.

Also, flash fiction is generally considered to be under 300 words and be a complete story... What you have here is more of a vignette, a scene setting, a preparation for further stories. Just a thought, since I'm not sure what it was written for *Smile*

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Heartb*


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Review of My First Poem  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome to Writing.com *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

This is a compact, yet impactful poem that doesn't waste words. It paints a sharp contrast between the peaceful stillness of the night and the uneasiness of the narrator's inner being as they struggle to match their feelings to the setting.

The second verse sets up a rising tension that climaxes in the single word "run," which completes the poem, expressing that universal desire to try to escape from one's problems, by either physically leaving or by burying oneself in mindless activities.

But, as many have said, "wherever you go, there you are" and whatever issues one faces are often internal and cannot be pushed aside by a change of scenery or sheer avoidance.

This poem rings true for me, as I have that strong tendency to escape from reality in various ways, and have spent many an otherwise peaceful night in great emotional turmoil.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartp*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A funny and thought-provoking item sharing the blessings of being a mom to a young autistic son.

I'm glad you were able to look on the positive side of things and appreciate your son's unique gifts despite the pain and difficulty.

It's heartbreaking to consider that maladaptive coping skills only become more out of touch with reality as the child grows older, and eventually it becomes quite difficult to care for them without some intervention.

I hope you were able to enjoy many happy moments with your son before things became too difficult.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,

I greatly appreciate your sharing this with us. It's always interesting to see personal stories on WdC, and I liked getting to know your son. I'm looking forward to reading about the other phases of his life.

So many years ago, less was known about autism; it's good to have this "time capsule" view of how one was diagnosed and treated. I hope your son is doing ok these days.

I have no suggestions for improvement; you have done a good job telling your story.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartb* *Smile*
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Review of Saved By A Bug  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Season's greetings,

An amusing anecdote about locking one's keys in the car. As I began I wasn't sure if it would be a story about your eye exam; I thought perhaps they would unexpectedly give you those eye drops that make it impossible to drive.

I enjoyed all the little details about the cranky Beetle and your complicated efforts to retrieve your spare key. Everything was so much more difficult back then - but if you called AAA nowadays there's a good chance you'd have a several hours wait on your hands! Progress...

I have only one suggestion to make; this was well written and easy to read. Perhaps you would want to choose three relevant genres for the story so others can find and enjoy it more easily. I would offer "Personal," "Experience," "Community" or "Comedy."

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb*
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245
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

I know this is just a quick rundown of the background and setting for your story plans. You've done a good job of gathering information and laying it out for future reference. If you want you can always "privatize" the file so it's just something for you. That way it can be as sloppy as you like *Smile*

I'm looking forward to the adventures in this world; I've noticed you have a pretty good handle on physics and chemistry (that QOTD with the book titles was almost over my head *Laugh*) so whatever you write will be based in presumable reality, like The Martian. (That was so minutely detailed and scientifically based, I had a hard time reminding myself it didn't actually take place when I was done reading it!)

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Heartb*

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Review of Come Again?  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,

I saw your quote on the Newsfeed and thought it looked interesting, albeit a bit flowery *Laugh*

A nice little story we have here... Is it a contest entry by any chance, or just something from your head?

I wasn't sure if it would be a little plodding at first, and I was also afraid it would be overly sardonic considering the demise of Christianity in the UK lately, but it's written with warm humor and a touch of holiday charm.

It seems to set us up for a sequel, as we wonder who exactly Sophia is (perhaps someone who died recently?) and what awaits the good priest and his community. Reads like an old-fashioned Christmas fable about orphans and vicarages.

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Smile* *Heartb* *Snow3*


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Review of Nosferatu  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

A spooky and surreal free verse poem, carefully structured and displayed very tidily on the page.

I would first suggest changing the primary genre from "adult" to perhaps "dark" because "adult" generally means "R rated" content.

It appears to be an image of someone who has risen above the crowds of group thinkers and found a sense of understanding of what lies outside the boundaries of reality.

This figure sees destruction coming for those who are as yet unaware of this strange sort of gnosis or hidden knowledge.

It employs the name of a vampire, which I am unsure of the significance of (lacking any particular familiarity with vampire lore) but seems to tie the whole thing together.

An eerie and well written poem that lingers in the mind.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Quill* *Heartbl*


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Review of The Spoils of War  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,

Thank you for requesting a review.

A sad and striking poem mourning the loss, not of a young soldier's life but of his soul. He returns, but in what mental shape? Haunted by the ghosts of what happened overseas, he can no longer enjoy life.

Your meter seemed to slip in some places as I read; perhaps adding a word here and there to fill out the lines would help balance the flow. I'm not the type to count syllables and tell you what's missing; one can develop a pretty good "ear" for it, perhaps by reading it aloud.

Speaking of which, it's a coincidence that I was chilling with some John Fogerty earlier this evening; your poem feels almost like one of his songs: simple, folksy and lyrical, with an antiwar theme.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *Heartbl*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Joey *Smile*

A gentle and charming sonnet about giving thanks, with the added interest of being from a Florida perspective.

You have good rhythm and flow (don't expect me to count your syllables *Laugh*) and it reads quite well.

I'll remark that in my Florida experience, the bald cypresses do in fact turn color and shower their needles upon us. And the crepe myrtles each decide individually whether to go dormant or to bloom wildly over the winter. And leaves tend to fall at any given time of year; I remember vacationing in Naples in the spring and being quite disconcerted to see swirls of dead leaves and yellowing/dying palm trees. It was my first spring outside of Tennessee in many years, and I couldn't help thinking of the glorious redbuds, Bradford pears, irises, hyacinths and other temperate floral delights I was missing. But I'm a born botanist, so just ignore that *FlowerP* *Leaf2G*

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this. You're getting better at writing poetry.

You could add a third genre, perhaps "personal" or "community." I like the large Comic font in bold and colored; it's always nicer to see than a plain "vanilla" default text.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing *Hearto*


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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,

Here's the review you requested *Smile*

First I should say I have very little cultural literacy in that regard, so Under Milk Wood might as well be Under the Milky Way *Laugh*

You've handled the script juggling pretty well; I followed along well enough, except perhaps for the shift from Sinbad Sailor and his late granny to Captain Cat noticing the stranger at the other lady's door.

I like the situation setup; nothing like a mysterious stranger in a small town to set things spinning. It feels like a combination of Agatha Christie, Roald Dahl and those old minimalist absurdist plays like Waiting For Godot.

It did feel a bit desultory, but I should talk; the story I'm working on now is incredibly desultory and I shall have to take a weed whacker to it when I'm done with the first draft *Rolling*

Anyway, a nifty introduction to what could have potential if you cared to continue with it. I don't know how much it's riffing off of the original, but you could spin away from the narrative and make some fanfiction if you liked.

Thanks for sharing, happy holidays and keep writing *Quill* *Hearto*



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