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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/19
Review Requests: ON
745 Public Reviews Given
745 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
Previous ... 15 16 17 18 -19- ... Next
451
451
Review of Freedom  
Review by
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Ugh... I'm sorry. I thought we weren't supposed to write about non-consensual... Never mind. I used the "random read and review" button to find this. Should've known better.
You nailed the horror alright. But the ending doesn't feel like enough, because the vampire is still at large and now the wickedness is only reproduced. I expected a battle, to clear our heads and provide closure. But perhaps adopting the baby will stop the vampire from attacking women? But you couldn't say that about real life sex offenders. And please don't capitalize "he" - it's an insult to spiritual people. Italicize, bold, anything but uppercase. Also, if Damien is really Jordan's baby, how did it turn into a...?? And why didn't the other victims become...?? Idk... I'm afraid the story is built on a very weak premise and is too much for shock value rather than anything deeper. Assuming you could have fleshed it out as you wished (it was probably a contest entry, though) the greater themes of redemption and family could have been developed in a more wholesome and satisfying way, rather than such a brief and grimy tale.

Something that really gives me the creeps about my finding this story randomly, is that I have a story I'm developing about a pale villain with black hair named Damien Blackstone. The story in my portfolio (Virus) is only one brief boiling down of a multitude of possibilities I'm considering. But someone here just told me privately that my story is a soulless horror and will attract "goths and ghouls." I'm beginning to think he was right!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
452
452
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, that's a cute and creative story. I love kids stories and appreciate a good one. Your characters are colorful, endearing and amusing, and the tropes of "bungling law enforcement" and "sensible lady (raccoon)" were set up without too much embarrassment. Sheriff Sam has good intentions, and he's only a rabbit after all. Just one small note, the word for climbing is "clamber" not "clamor." Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
453
453
Review of GRATEFUL HEART  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this creative and beautiful poem with us. We all need to remember this every day; gratitude is so important. It makes life easier and helps us feel more content and find peace. Keep writing and have a wonderful day *Butterfly2B* *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
454
454
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Aside from the references to alcohol, this was adorable. I found the script font a little hard to read, even on a big screen. It makes me laugh and wonder if it’s a true story - if it isn’t it probably is *Laugh* Thanks for sharing your sense of humor with us. I loved the use of a pug dog, too.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
455
455
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Fun and cute. I too grew up with Dr Seuss... My mom wasn't too impressed, but I thought "If I Ran the Zoo" was the coolest thing for a while. I always felt bad for Horton; he's too good hearted *Smile* *HeartT* *Elephant* Your rhyme is enjoyable and easy to read. Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
456
456
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice lightly romantic piece. I like how it generalizes until you realize it's speaking about a lifetime together with a loved one. It would make a pretty wedding gift, written out on fancy paper. Thanks for sharing; I'll have to check out your other works *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
457
457
Review of Welcome  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice to meet you! I'll have to check out your works more closely sometime soon. Take care.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
458
458
Review of Hysteria  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Cool, an acrostic description of a concert atmosphere. Simple and colorful, with good vocabulary and flow. I'm not sure if stages are usually intrepid, that would be more like the people performing, but we get the idea. Thanks for sharing this with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
459
459
Review of Nature's Realm  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love this. You have a real talent for writing classic and readable poetry. Your descriptive words are picturesque and the scenery flows like a painting. I'll keep an eye out for more of your work. Thanks for sharing your craft with us, it's greatly appreciated.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
460
460
Review of The Power of One  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
I feel like we're kindred spirits at this point. This is so much on my level: the arrangement as a song, the theme of embracing solitude and finding oneself, while readying oneself to be a good friend for others. Thank you so much for sharing this well written poem/song with us.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
461
461
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is wonderful! I may write it down and memorize it; I have a poetry collection. I love your meter and rhyme and the use of "we" instead of just "I". The theme reminds us to treasure each moment and use our time wisely. Your choice of words makes it shine. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work *BigSmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
462
462
Review by
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good professional journalistic work. You explain what you're discussing and do your best to make it make sense to the layperson. The text progresses logically and cites studies well. There is some repetition between the fourth and fifth paragraphs, but nothing too distracting. Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
463
463
Review by
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aw, thank you for sharing this. Your thoughts are golden and well intended, albeit perhaps a bit scattered (you can look up the phrase "stream of consciousness" for an interesting lesson.) I see you used spell check well. I like the little bits of humor and cultural references, and I found it easy enough to read and comprehend. Keep the faith and keep sharing your thoughts, even if others don't always value them.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
464
464
Review of Observations  
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Spooky, with a romanticism bordering on stalking. Not sure whether I like it or not, but as poetry it’s moody and creative, employing the metaphor of an eager scientist peering at a star. Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
465
465
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Sad and simple, painting a gloomy picture of an unhappy drinker and a failed relationship in the rain with a few choice words. Reminds me of the themes of country music, but without the tediousness of a chorus. Thanks for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
466
466
Review by
Rated: E | (4.5)
Love your smooth flow and elegant vocabulary; this ode makes me feel honored to participate in such a fine community.
My only issue is that this is not a limerick, as defined by Wikipedia (I'd put the link but I don't know how to do it tidily here.) It sacrifices some refinement (and truth) to call your nice poem a limerick. But aside from that I really like what you've composed here.

Thanks for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
467
467
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
That's really nice. I like the flow and the sentiment. It would make a good baby gift, written out elegantly on some fancy paper. Thanks for sharing!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
468
468
Review of Temptation  
Review by
Rated: E | (5.0)
Aww, this is amazing! So poetic, creative and perfectly crafted, with a peaceful, happy ending. Thank you so much for writing this, it made my morning *Smile* keep up the good work, I'll look into your portfolio sometime soon.
Blessings,
Amethyst Angel


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
469
469
Review of Start Again  
Review by
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Love the brief wording - it’s simple, direct and to the point. Thanks for sharing.
470
470
Review of Just A Dusting...  
Review by
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh my! I could feel the bitter cold as I read this. Brr. But why couldn't the narrator go back inside their house to charge their phone? Where were they that defeat was so "defeating?" Also, specifically mentioning that the starter was silent implies the starter is broken, not that the car battery died from the cold. If it was just the car battery the starter would be clicking. Sorry, but I speak from experience *Laugh*
Also, the meter is a little ragged. When I write poetry I tend to use a very stiff meter, but that's just me. Yours is more conversational *Smile*
Other than that it's a crisp, cold and humorous poem. Thank you for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
471
471
Review by
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful prayer. The third line is a sentence fragment; adding the word "so" at the beginning would help: "So that You are pleased with me..." Also, there should be more punctuation to make it easier to read. A semicolon (;) between "pleased with me" and "let me be" would help. And they always say "all caps is SHOUTING." Perhaps you could choose a different font or a pretty color to set the words in so it looks nice, rather than using all caps. Thanks for sharing!
472
472
Review of " I'M Greatful "  
Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
Beautiful sentiment! The word is spelled "grateful". Your lines are short and simple and I can see the simplicity of your feelings here. The blessings of good health are indeed something to be grateful for. Thank you so much for sharing with us :) take care.
473
473
Review by
Rated: E | (4.0)
Cool! I see a tightly knit description of a secret society :) My first misgiving is whether it rhymes or not... I think it should have a more established meter and rhyme scheme. Then I was a little puzzled with the word "endocrine;" are you sure you weren't thinking of "doctrine" or "indoctrinate"? Other than that, it's great poetry, colorful and mysterious. Thanks for sharing!
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