Hi there CarpeNoctem }! It is an honor to be reviewing
For You (E) About giving everything you have to be with someone who doesn't even know you exist. #1968118 by CarpeNoctem
for the WDC Angel Army.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie Just like you. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression:I can feel the place of pain that this piece comes from. It's pure sadness. I've been there. I think we all have.
Suggestions:No mistakes in grammar or punctuation jumped out at me. However, I noticed in the middle stanzas the flow was interrupted or slowed a little. I stumbled a couple of times.
Overall: Overall you've done a great job on this. I hope you have great talent that helps you tap into this kind of pain and that it isn't from experience. I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing
Thank you for sharing your work with me and feel free to stop into my port, have a look around, and leave me a few suggestions.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie Just like you. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression:HaHa I didn't see that coming. This story is packed full of talent.
Suggestions:I did find a few things that I think will improve your story
“Joseph you are always so scared. Why what would happen?” Kelsey proclaimed back with sarcasm. ( I think I would put a comma after Why )
“Great you idiot now we are going to get it,” Joseph said to Kelsey. ( comma after idiot )
Overall: I really enjoyed this. I think you have a great talent of putting pen to paper. Good job. I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing
Thank you for sharing your work with me and feel free to stop into my port, have a look around, and leave me a few suggestions.
This is beautifully done. As a nurse that worked in the lock down unit of a long term care facility, I worked with many Alzheimer's patients. As well as in the family practice setting where I worked with the least or newest effected.
What you say is true: that they, can't remember themselves, but wants others to remember for them.
I remember working on a man in the nursing home who was unable to speak. I could tell when he was uncomfortable by the look in his eyes. Sometimes I would stop and just look into his eyes and I could see him there. He was in there unable to be present with me.
This essay is full of passion. Thank you for taking the time to touch on a subject that many won't touch or even care about.
Hi there jpmurphy }! It is an honor to be reviewing
Stay (E) Watching her walk away and can't do a thing about it #1849813 by jpmurphy
for the WDC Angel Army.
I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: I can relate to this poem as I am going through a separation from my husband. It is very painful. I hope this is not experience for you, but is your gift: tapping into pain that isn't yours.
Suggestions: I have no suggestions for this piece. I found no errors in grammar or punctuation. They rhythm was right on and the words flowed well.
Overall: I really think you have a way with words. A way to put pen to paper. I would be honored to review your other work.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie Just like you. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: Poor Lucky, I hope he's feeling better.
Suggestions: I found a couple of typos and have some suggestions for you. If that's okay.
Once my cute pet which is my best friend and my companion lucky got hurt on its leg.
1.)I don't think this is a rule but I think pet's names should be capped just like humans. Lucky
The sentence is a bit unkempt. I would reword it. Maybe like::::My cute pet, Lucky who is my best friend injured his leg.....
Since you say he is your best friend, we already know he's a companion.
2.)I was very much worried then my friend suggested animalcareclinic.
It's the same with this sentence. It's a little wordy. And, I would separate the animal care clinic.
Maybe like::: I was worried, then my friend suggested Animal Care Clinic (it should be capped if it is a place.)
Overall: Overall I think it's a very cute story. It would make a good short story. You could expand on the injury and what happened at the clinic.I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing
Hello Magoo, as always it's a pleasure to read your work. I think this poem is adorable. I hope you were going for funny lol. I enjoyed it and I think others will too. I always enjoy comical writings.
I found no errors in grammar or punctuation. They rhythm was right on and it flowed well.
My favorite part was:The foods you eat increase your seat
so stuff that chubby face.
I can feel the pain emulate from this piece. I'm sorry about your sister. You really have a talent for poetry. I did notice that the rhyme patterns change. One stanza has 5 lines two stanzas have 4 lines and one stanza has 6 lines. I'm not sure if you meant it that way. However, it doesn't matter what pattern you used, the poem is beautiful.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie Just like you. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: I felt the pain from the writer in this piece. I can tell it comes from a place of pain. I hope this is sheer talent and not from experience.
Suggestions: I have no suggestions.
Overall: Overall I think this was done beautifully. I found no errors in grammar or punctuation. I enjoyed it and I think others will too. I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing
This was a quick story. It was well written. No grammar errors. No punctuation errors. Overall, well done. I enjoyed it and I think others will as well. God bless!
Very well done. I have only one suggestion...I know your slipping away.
It tugged at my heart strings as I am separating from my husband so it drew an emotional response from me. This kind of pain, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I hope from you that this is creativity and experience.
Well done. I really enjoyed it. I know it was for a contest and probably had a word limit but I really could read a story like this. You hooked me with the first couple of sentences and kept me throughout. Your grammar and punctuation seems perfect to me. The story cooked along perfectly and never lost it's pace. I give you five stars for perfection! Good luck with your contest and God bless!
Hi there Whitemorn }! It is an honor to be reviewing
By Royal Decree (13+) A satirical poem about a Royal decree. Set in the early eighteenth century. #1966805 by Whitemorn
for the WDC Angel Army.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie Just like you. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: I found this hilarious! I have had a few bosses I'd like to make laugh lol
Suggestions:
I found only one typo
8th stanza 3rd line…… A small minstrel group was in route though the valley, (though should be through)
Overall: I really enjoyed this and I think others will too. You have a way with words and a way with comedy. Very well done. I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing
This is quite the story! Very well written. I was a little lost in the first part but I pulled through. I could be because my son is running around lol. This is the only thing I found that could be improved on . ....morning" he said,..... you could use a comma after morning. Other than that it was punctuation and grammar rich. I think you've done a good job. I enjoyed it and I think others will to. Good job and God bless!
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie Just like you. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: I found this deeply personal. I have a brother who passed as a baby. It makes me think of him in Heaven. Running, jumping, and playing like he would've never had the chance to do if he would have lived.
Suggestions: I have no suggestions on how to make this better. It's beautiful just the way it is.
Overall: Overall as I've said it is beautifully done and a very emotional piece. I love it. I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: I could feel his pain throughout the entire thing. I was hooked with the first line and stayed that way through the end.
Suggestions:
My only suggestions would be….the language.. last line. I think your writing is good enough. You don’t need those words to enhance your writing. It is great on it’s own.
line 12 …. It's to damn tough…..should be too
Also I would tighten up the spacing. It would be an easier read that way.
Overall: Nicely done. You have a way with words and a real talent for poetry. I would be honored to review your other work. Keep writing {/b}
I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie just like you.
I am not a professional and these are just my humble opinions. I hope you take them as I have intended. It is not my goal to criticize or hinder you in anyway, but to grow and learn with you. So without further adieu....here goes.
Positive:I think you have a great way of explaining things. You have a vivid imagination and you put it down on paper very well. The story held my attention from beginning to end. It flowed well and made perfect sense.
Impression: I'm not sure if the beast is real or symbolic. If symbolic then I kind of see it as....life creeps up on us when we least expect it and challenges us to do better. Even our best.
If literal then I say run forest run lol
Suggestions:I don't want you to think I'm picking your writing to pieces but I noticed lot's of typos. All but a few I's were uncapped.
First paragraph .
Wakening up in a dark place with trees,..... should be Waking up
Second paragraph "
Snow? its snowing" I …...should be It's
to cry in pain. once the pain left I …..should be Once
the nearest this to grab on. ….should it be thing to grab on??
breath, resting, listing to that ever sweet tune …. should be listening
Third paragraph:
grew. by then I could …..should be By
walk backwards, it screamed at me …..should be backwards. It
Droop dripped down from the beasts mouth ….should be Drool
Fourth paragraph
again, I sighed in relief. …..should be again. I
rock covered in blood, surrounding in blood. I quickly ….should be blood.Surrounded in blood, I quickly
lost.. when I......should be lost .. When
Fifth paragraph
walking once more. As I walked father and father, should be....farther and farther
I lifted my hand, to see if there was hood on the back of this jacket, and it was followed by my apparently long hair hair that was in a bun.. I let my hair fall to about my breasts. Longish black wavy hair, soon was covered my the jackets hood.. …....this section should be rewritten.....are you seeing if there's a hood or if there's blood? Did the hair cover the hood? Or was the hair covered by the hood.
I was almost read to give up, should be....ready
as I began to lye down... closing my eyes once more.. should be..lie down.
Overall:I think you have a great story here if you polish it up a little bit. You have a way with words and you are very good at this sort of thing. I wish it would have been longer. If you should revise it, I would love to take another look.
Thank you for sharing your work with me. I would be honored to read/review more of your work. Good luck and God bless!!
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: I think this is sweet and cute. I have a friend like that. Too bad I'm about to divorce her brother. lol
Suggestions: Again just a couple of typos (i'm the queen) second line first stanza below is misspelled ..... third line second stanza I'd is missing the ' which you may have done on purpose. I know sometimes we do that with poetry
Overall: very nice. i think you are quite good at this
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: This brings up all of my emotions. I feel the pain that brought this poem on. I think sometimes poetry comes from a very dark place and I can feel that here. I hope that isn't the place you're in a lot
Suggestions: I don't want to say too much about this because our first poem/story is always the nearest to us so I'll just point out a few grammar issues that are probably typos.....third line, fourth stanza I think the word be belongs in there. yet to be won. also I think that line is a little word heavy. it causes me to lose rhythm when I'm reading it. if you could shorten that sentence without changing the tone I think it would have a better feel to it.
Overall: Again, I feel that this comes from darkness. I have felt that kind of pain maybe for the same reason as you. that I don't know but i think this is beautifully done.
Hi there Nellafantasia }! It is an honor to be reviewing
Warrior (E) Just another random poem I wrote. Hope you enjoy. #1966058 by Nellafantasia
Welcome to WDC. I hope you love it here like I do. There's plenty to do so dive right in. I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie. I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!
Impression: wow, i really like it. it flowed well and things look great as well
Suggestions: you missed the t in rest and i would drop the yet in the last stanza. i think that would make it flow just perfectly.
Overall: overall i think you have a way with words (if i didn't say that before) you have a real talent
Hi there, David Allen } I am GroovyStella and it is my honor to be reviewing "Endless" today.
I warn you that you are being reviewed by a Newbie just like you.
I am not a professional and these are just my humble opinions. I hope you take them as I have intended. It is not my goal to criticize or hinder you in anyway, but to grow and learn with you. So without further adieu....here goes.
Positive: I think this poem is beautiful and the one that it was written for is a lucky one.
Impression:I felt strong emotions while reading this. A lot of times poetry comes from a place of pain but this one comes from a place of love and that is wonderful.
Suggestions: I think this piece is practically perfect. However, a couple of lines sort of lost their flow a bit but I think it read well anyway.
Overall:Overall I think you have a real talent and a way with words. Well done.
Thank you for sharing your work with me. I would be honored to read/review more of your work. Good luck and God bless!!
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Just like you. 
I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless! 
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
I am not a professional so please take my opinions in the manner in which I give them. My goal is to grow along with you and be encouraging as possible. Always remember that my opinion is just one of many. Good luck and God bless!