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1,582 Public Reviews Given
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Review of Laughter  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Laughter is an ancient medicine. It even says so in the Bible. I like people who are light hearted and do not take life too seriously. I wonder why we sometimes stress out over small things. I like how you said; I was truly the luckiest person ever/ To be alive. Some people say life is meaningless and search for an answer. Just living is a reason to go on! Life is a gift from God mean to be enjoyed to its fullest. Laughter is an expression of life. Good poem.


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Review of Magdalen in Lent  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Although I think I partially got your poem, it sounded wonderful! Pretty good for a first attempt. You definitely created a lovely abstract poem. Like I said it is a bit overly obscure. Sometimes you have to spell things out for the more laymen so they get what you are saying. I am not very good at prose so I cannot say much. I’m a couplet rhyming person but I realize prose is more contemporary. One of my writing professors told me that. Good job and happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
You have a very provoking mind to have delved into the POV of a butterfly. It was brief but that did not hinder this. I really don’t know what to say. It is what it is and I mean that in a good way. This is also vivid more so than most pieces I read. I have no suggestions for improvement. I suppose it could be better but only you can do that. Keep writing and happy WDC anniversary!


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Review of Home again  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is so true. People always look back longingly towards the past and as they say “Home is where the heart is.” I liked the last line. It rhymed and finished this piece just right. No one can relive the past. To be honest, I thought the whole poem was stellar. And it was done with such brevity yet that did not disrupt the nostalgia. Great job and happy WDC anniversary!


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is a small poem so it is naturally hard to convey ample emotion and content. I do not understand the poem though. You have a good hook at the beginning when you use a metaphor and that small line is nostalgic. I would have written this with more of that kind of content. You do that part well. Anyway, keep writing and have a happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of Bush Brats  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
You have a good imagination that is for sure. I liked this tale. But you really need to go back and edit. There were a lot of misspellings and a few punctuation errors. I will only point out a few. My words are in parenthesis.

(Below oorganise should be organize)

would go out in the forest and oorganise

(Here bso should be "be so")

otherwise I'd never see you bso early in the morning.

(Here "od" should be "of")

she pulled a jar od peanut butter from the cupboard,

(Here the whole pat should be "Eh? What kind of stuff")

"EWhat kidnd of stuff?"

(here toasted should be toaster)

Emily continued to watch the toasted intenly

I also suggest spliting up the whole block of text into paragraphs and to seperate quotes by themselves also.


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Review of Two Words  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This had very good characterization. You stayed in Alexis’ mind quite well and I followed her thoughts easily. It was a little complex but I mean that in a good way. The way she struggles with her emotions is compelling. I did spot three discrepancies. My words are in parenthesis.

(For the segment below you could have wrote "trundling down the street carrying shopping bags.")

trundling down the street carrying bags of shopping.

(For this one "upto" should be "up to")

looking upto be assaulted by the bluest eyes

(To correct this, you might say-What a fickle woman she must be, she suspected he must have thought of her.) Also I do not know if there should be some kind of punctuation for what Alexis thought he was saying in his mind.

What a fickle woman she must be, she thought.

I’m not a romance drama person but I think this was well written and thought provoking. Great job and happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I can empathize with you. I’m naturally introverted and I am trying to come out of my shell. My ultimate goal is to serve God and that requires connecting with people on a spiritual level. I’ll be turning thirty-two myself and I do not have a good Christian resume so to speak. I have just started to volunteer at different organizations like the Salvation Army and at a hospital. I hope you do step out of your comfort zone and partake of the social aspects of life-as well as for me.
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Review of Hope  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I admire your heart and honesty. Hope is a powerful tool and sometimes the only tool. Like it says in the Bible, “Sorrow may remain for the night but joy comes in the morning.” Faith goes hand in hand with hope too. Faith is the evidence if things not seen and hoped for. You seem to have both concepts. God also works through other people like the relief missions that aided your country. This was very deserving of a five star average rating and I wish you the best. God bless!
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Review of A lover sky  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved your poem! You clearly illustrated the way the world causes you to isolate and seek comfort in other places. I admire your strength and honesty. This poem shows your creative sensitivity. Don’t forget that Jesus is there too. He loves everyone and is always there to listen. I think your five star average is well deserved. I believe this deserve something special though.

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a whimsical, fun and cheerful. It kind of reminds me of Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Sues. So how well did you do in college with this poem? Is creative writing your major? That is what I majored in and got my degree in. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review of Stake Deal  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I don’t know what to say about this poem. I’ve never heard of this kind of poem. For all general purposes I would guess you did a good job with the very limited length of this sort. I suppose the brevity leaves more room to ponder the poem and it is simple to comprehend. Good work and happy WDC anniversery!

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Review of Switch off  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a well done poem. You did a good job of line breaking just at the right time. You also used brevity; that is the contemporary style. I suppose that format leaves the person lingering in thought of the poem. I think we have all had thoughts at night that won’t shut up. Worry is a human trait that a lot of people struggle with. I loved this poem. Happy WDC anniversary.

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Review of Frozen Time  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
What a unique spin on the classic time travel concept. I found it a little hard to follow at some points, but overall I got the jest of it. I did spot two grammar errors. When you say "As Janine saw him out she caught sight of herself in the hall mirror," you need a comma between “out” and “she.” In the next line you say "Too late she realised that you can't jerk a catch..." For this you need a comma between “late” and “she.” Also I think “realised” is spelled “realized.” In its entirety, I found this to be an excellent example of imagination and you certainly deserve four stars. Happy WDC anniversary!


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Review of Together As One  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I’ve never seen a poem like this before. What is it called? This was lovely but I failed to find out the meanings of it until I read the description on top. I wonder if there is a way to insinuate the premise just by the poem itself. Anyway, this was a splendid piece of work, and very unique like I said. Happy WDC anniversary!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice poem man. This fits the contemporary formant quite well. Your descriptions create a pleasant, melancholy image; its’ kind of nostalgic too. I like how beauty is contrived from the havoc of cruel nature. The only suggestion I have is to use metaphors and similes to give a stronger emotional luster. Like you suggested, a rhythm pattern would have been good. I have trouble with rhythm and line breaks. Great job and write on! BTW, I am overwhelmed by the number of reviews this got. Did you spend a lot of time revising this?
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great poem. You paint such an exuberant, fun image of heaven. And you use couplet form, my favorite; it is the only rhyme form I use! For all general purpose your poem is outstanding. I think you deserve the ribbon. However the contemporary format of poetry hinges more on content, metaphor, and simile rather than the fun, limerick type. I won a contest with a poem called The Mistress of Death (a couplet) and it got good reviews and all, but when I gave it to my professor, he took it apart and suggested I change a lot of things. This is not college though so I’ll spare you the heavy critiquing. Great poem!

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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was very enthralling. I like how you stuck to Annin’s POV the whole way. I could not spot any typos or errors. There was a tiny thing that I spotted. When you said “he half opened his eyes” it might have read better to say “He opened eyes half way.” That is what is called using the active voice. Like I said this was good and the surprise ending was quite interesting. Congrats for making it into the Short Story newsletter editor’s picks!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with Fantasy and Science Fiction So...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This sounded so cool! It is so different than my poetry. I take the cat to be literal or did you intend a metaphor? I love the way the person is always there to save the cat that goes astray. I liked the ending too; it makes me contemplate the fate of the cat. Great job!
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Review of Relic Hunters  
Review by brom21
Rated: E | (4.0)
Before I start, I will address the things that need a little tweaking. With your first sentence bellow it seems as though someone is talking to another person however you present it as the narrator’s voice. “I’d either reword it or have it spoken by a character.

(When this is pulled the water is heated up and the steam goes through the machine causing the propeller to run)

With this one below it is the same problem as before so you know what to do.

(These contraptions are perfect for relic hunting.)

I think I saw the same thing in other places. Nevertheless, I fully enjoyed your story and you had good fantasy/ sci-fi elements. The most suspenseful and exciting part was when they were looking at the silver dragon through the goggles as it approached. The love that came out of the egg was unexpected. One thing I would have done was to foretell about the lack of love and the desperate need for compassion in an emotionally cold world or what have you. Although love part was cool, was a little abrupt and out of the blue. Anyway that is my review. I hope this helped. Kudos!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I really relate to this poem I love rainy days. They are so peaceful. I even find thunder and lightning pacifying and calm. When I look up at the sky through the trees, it makes me think of all the similar nights when I was far younger. I have a poem called the Peace of The Storm that I wrote years ago. You may like it. One thing, which I do, that I found with this is no punctuation. I am horrible with grammar and punctuation so I really can’t speak. However it is something that may lessens the effectiveness of poetry for sticklers. Great poem and write on!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Short poems are always hard to critique but I will do my best. I think it would have been more effective if you would have included where the spooky things come from. Like if the monster came from under the bed or if the ghosts were lurking in the closet. There is nothing wrong with your poem; these are things I would have liked to have seen. I love the comfort that the parent gives with every fear. The last line is great. It is the ultimate tie in that expresses the mother’s love; very sweet indeed. Great job and write on!
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Review of A Stabbing Wound  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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I’m sure you’ve got the same comment that your poem was very developed for an eight year old! You must have a very complex mind to able to string together such descriptive words. Baring the tender heart of a child is precious thing. I wish I started writing when you did. Great job!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This was a very beautiful poem; so short but so sweet. The way you wove the essence of your heart into a wonderful tapestry is lovely. I have no suggestions, it is splendid! Keep it up.
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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This was just a random tale of a moot situation. I liked it though and it had an interesting dialect. Since you mention it, finding a title would be hard. There is really no single aspect to draw from. This had a nice humorous element that came out near the end. I have any suggestions for this; nice work.
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