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1,582 Public Reviews Given
1,583 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

The premise was constant through the story and entertaining. However I think you could improve it if you did more showing and not telling. Try portraying more emotion and dialog. Describe the actions and the occurrences in real time. I think it would spruce it up very much. Good job and I hope you revise it to make it even better!
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Review of I'm So Sick  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I could feel the anger throughout your poem. It is very strong. Did you give this poem to the person you were inexplicably tired of? If so what was the reaction? Oh, and thanks for sparing any swear words. Writing down your feelings is supposed to help alleviate them. Was that the case with you? Many people keep their emotions bottled up which will inevitably lead to a sudden outburst of rage. Anyway, I could go on but I hope you feel better. Happy WDC anniversary!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a very explanatory story. I did have to read over a few parts over to get the action and description but that might have just been me. Kudos to you for being an editor’s pick in the Short Stories newsletter! I cannot see anything amiss. Great work and write on! BTW, did you do any revising for this?
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Review of Loner  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Let me begin by stating I am a poor judge of correcting content. I read it over several times and I just scratched the surface of your deep poem. From what I did gather, this comments on the futility of trying to justify what motivates you emotionally. You had good use of obscurity, an element I never use but should try I suppose. This called prose right? In any case this was a good read. Write on!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

To me, this is like saying “stop focusing in the bad and enjoy life.” I liked the metaphors of the clunking and snoring that I take to mean the annoyances of life and how they chip away at you if you allow them. As you said we just have to accept them as being part of living. So true! Happy WDC anniversary!
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Review of The Siren  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Before I begin I want to say that this was very ideologically thought provoking and quite intense. I only found one punctuation problem. In the sentence below your are missing quotes-

He nodded slowly. I will make this as painless as possible, he shaped. Once the bidding begins, I need you to create a distraction to the left of the block.

One thing that I myself found was that at a lot the story development and details progressed too quickly. I had to re-read some parts. This work of yours is very divers and complex and I mean that in a good way. Some people may be like me, however, so try to smooth things out. I do love how you really got under the skin of the main character and her emotions as well as her thought process. It was very raw and brutally honest. With that said, happy WDC anniversary!
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Review of bunny broken  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Good job with this one. “baby, bunny” brings such a tenderness and frailty at the beginning. One thing I want to know is how the person came to possess the bunny and how it got wounded. Doing so, in my opinion, would bring more depth and emotion. Like I said before, the precious life of the little animal is well described. Also, was the bunny a metaphor?-if so what does it mean? Any who, this was a touching read. I’m glad I reviewed this!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I love how you quoted scripture to support your points. The Word is so beautiful and it gives life. This was a breath of fresh air. Words are very powerful and a small slip of the tongue can do much damage. On the other hand it can cause healing peace. Like God said; “Bless and do not curse.” You’re right on sir or madam. May God bless you indeed!
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Review of Word of the Day  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Very aptly put. Sometimes selfishness can correlate with pride. People think they are better than they are and think “I’m good enough, I deserve it.” Selfishness causes close mindedness and confusion. It is a delusion in a way. No one is better than other people. Like you said, it is something we implement in regard to everyone. The sad thing is that we are most of the time unaware of it. Great insight!
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Review of The Choice  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I loved the story of Pixie and Sam. I think it might make things better if you put more supernatural storyline throughout the narration. I felt the magic element came a bit too little and too late. When I was reading this I thought “Pixie” was an actual pixie. Any who, I thought it was a good read. Happy WDC anniversary!
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Review of Prisoner 56  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

This is truly a story of despair where there is in light at the end of the tunnel. You really made me experience what an inmate feels-everything is cold including the emotions and feelings. It’s like being lost in an endless abyss of darkness. Very potent work. I don’t see anything that needs changing. The poem is good as is!
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Review of Morning Dream  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Excuse me if I seem a little off, it has been a while since I reviewed. This was short can concise which makes it even more memorable. The ending was splendid, although I kind of missed the poetic meaning, it was still beautiful. I kind of was neutral when I was reading it. But when I got to the end it all came together. It was like a quick peek through your eyes that leaved me with an impression. A good read indeed.
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Well, it is an honor to review the work of the one who runs the Anniversary Reviews. Like you, I find the sea calming and nostalgic. I love the sound of sea animals like whales and dolphins. It puts me into a serene state that I get lost in. So when was the last time you visited a beach? It has been over a decade since I went. I love the poem and the feeling it creates.
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Review of My Songs  
for entry "The Pain" 
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I only wish I could hear the melody to this. I like how the person’s struggle with pain drives him to God throughout the song-it illustrates his desperation. Oh, and one more thing; when you say “lord” it should be capitalized the whole way through. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the person dealing with troubles with living and a love interest successively? Anyway, good lyrics. “Write (or compose) on!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I loved the apathetic tone of the poem. The futile washes if the child made me sad and forlorn. I am not very good at critiquing poetry like grammar and syntax. As a matter of fact, all my own poetry has no punctuation at all. In light of that, all I can do is praise your piece. I found it interesting how the mother is tormented by the words of the daughter or at least that is what I comprehended. The innocent day dreaming played out quite well. Excellent work!
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Review of A Final Wish  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Before I start with the good stuff, I noticed two awkward things. The line that you wrote is below-

(It was almost time another minute or two.)

I believe you need a comma after “time” or perhaps a semi-colon.

With this next sentence below, I could not tell who is talking. It also does not have quotes neither is it in italics to show it is a thought.

(Another minute and I can open the door.)

Now that I have gotten past those minor little errors that are easily corrected, I will get to the things I liked. You did a good job with some obscurity that adds curiosity on the part of the reader. The beginning paragraphs are very tone setting. I could picture the people in black suits and dresses with umbrellas getting into black cars and limousines. And of course the rain was perfect in presenting the mood. I loved the mysterious nostalgia you included. All in all, a good great read!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I’d like to start out by pointing out small error I noticed-

(Also, make sure the stakes that would hold the tent down so that it did not slide were pounded into the ground as deep as possible.)

It is inconsistent. Try omiting "make" and put in "I made."

This was a very detailed story. However it was a little short on description and emotion. Tell me what your surroundings are like and say just a bit what kind of emotions that it brought-doing so would really bring this account to life. It would also help to show more emotional reactions from the encounters of the situations you met. All in all, this was a good narration of events and I hope you continue to write and improve (something all us writers must do). Write on!
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Review of Got Milk?  
Review by brom21
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

You actually made me laugh out loud when I read this!-what a crack up! The voice of Billy was very mentally audible. It sounded very adorable and funny. I’ll see if I can’t read over the sequel to this humorous work. You definitely deserve the perfect rating! You tickled my funny bone quite well!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Wow, this was a great story. I hate it when long stories seem to drag on and on with nothing interesting to keep me reading; not your story though. I loved how you narrated through Jon’s perspective with his thick, Southern accent. In short, I was curious to the end and was pleasantly entertained the whole way through. I wonder why others have not given this a perfect rating as well. Write on!
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Review of What If?  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I did not detect any errors. I have the same problem of catching my own mistakes as well. You made good use of all the senses that really emphasized the blessed ending. Sometimes we get so caught up in material things, that we forget the joy of living closely with nature. If only more people felt this way. Great read!
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Review of The Emergency  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Maybe it’s just me, but I had hard time following this. There was lots of suspenseful dialog which set the volatile mood and I was curious to know the outcome, but after reading it over twice it was a little foggy. In any case, this was a good read and I hope you improve just as we all must; especially me! Write on my friend!
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Wow, what an engaging story! –and so original! Green is also the color of envy by the way. Maybe he should have thought of that. Like I said before you held my attention throughout this odd (but good) compilation. You have quite the imagination! Write on and happy WDC anniversary! BTW, was there anything that inspired you?
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Review of Good Bye Mother  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
For the Anniversary Reviews..

I like this pome because it is simple and straight forward with raw emotion. I can tell this just wrote itself and came right from your heart. You had a good use of style-A,B A,B format. I myself have never used that method; I do couplets. You have a good soul. God bless!
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Review of So Simple  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

To me this is like a self-esteem affirmation. It inspires the best in any situation even in the face if death. I know this may be a form of childish, stupid opinion, but I would have like to have seen more rhyming. There is nothing wrong with your poem, it’s just me. I admire the effect of rhyme. What you wrote will certain be remembered by me! Kudos and happy WDC anniversary!
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Review of One Night a Year  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Good job with mixing in the horror titles. It was interesting that the main premise was not scary at all but more sentimental and touching-nice twist. I think I saw one typo-



(“I know that being her might seem like the little shop of horrors, but Hannah, we’re not here for bloodlust.”)

"Her' should be "here".


Anyway, great story! Write on!
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