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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jen2/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
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793 Public Reviews Given
793 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I love to do reviews! I can get lost for hours reading all the amazing work from everyone here! I am honest when I review, I love to offer advice or suggestions, sometimes another set of eyes can be a big help!! I know that I always appreciate another opinion or help so I just want to offer the same to others!!~
I'm good at...
Spotting ways to change up just a couple of words and make the flow even better. As well as noticing ways of making the writing stand out even more with adding text color or placement.
Favorite Genres
Dark
Least Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi
Favorite Item Types
Poems
Least Favorite Item Types
None really
I will not review...
Sci-Fi
Public Reviews
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Review of I Believe  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Having belief is what helps us through life and it's what gives us up to keep going. This is an enlightening view of how to believe. Written well!

I think that centering this, maybe changing font style and text color and it would just pull it all together even better!

Write On!~


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Review of Tears of Remorse  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I remember hearing about this story on the news. It was a cruel and senseless thing to do to a child! This poem is heart touching, as truly, a child is the most innocent of everything. Beautifully written and flows well, especially for no editing as you said!!

Great Job!!

Write On!~


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Review of Momma Was Right  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Interesting but very true, I can hear it as a song as I read it...and as you get older you for sure can realize that sometimes our parents were not as dumb as we then thought lol

It flowed well, it does read as more of a song though! Who knows...it could lead to a big hit!! *ThumbsUp*

Write On!~
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Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was so very deep with raw emotions. When someone suffers from mental illness they often feel these ways and things. It is a battle within yourself and you were able to express them quite well.

I suggest that maybe you try playing around with some text color, font style, spacing and placement. For example, if this was centered and in a dark color and maybe a different font it would really make it stand out more!!

Great job on it!1

Write On!~

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Review of forget.  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved this! I believe in signs and things happening for reasons! Sometimes someone is on our mind because we are going to run into them, or maybe they need a call from us, or even just a prayer. Life is short and your right, we do all get caught up in the chaos of life. We need to spend more time listening and seeing the signs, so we don't let something pass up by!~

Write On!~

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Review of This is how  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very deep and emotional poem. You capture the reader and pull them into your world and show things from a point of view that most never see. It is well written, causes the reader to stop and think about things..life...it flows well. Great job!!

I suggest adding some color to your text, play with font and placement and it will really pull it all together!


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Review of Empty Vase  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The reader forgets that this is about a vase because it almost takes you inside the mind of someone grieving from loneliness. I think that it read well and the words flowed smoothly.

I suggest that you play around with placement, color of font, font style and spacing. It really does change the way a poem reads when it attracts the eye like that!

Good job and Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of The Time Spent  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a rather humorous way to express the mundane work life. I loved the ending:
But just paying the rent
Will make you Clark Kent!
It lightly jokes how all that truly just sometimes making the rent will make you feel powerful!

It was well written, flows easily. Only thing I would suggest to do is maybe add some font style, text color and placement. It will really polish it up and make it read even better!!

Just a helpful suggestion!

Great job!


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209
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Review of still here  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
WOW!! This story moved me and hit close to home. I have a special needs child that has had 39 surgeries and still more in future and I always say she is such a fighter because she is still here...and here for a purpose just as are you! How scary experiences you went through but how wonderful to be able to say that yes you are still here! From the first line or so the reader is pulled into the viewpoint of a childs fear and allows them into a brief peek at the struggle you endured! I think you are an amazing fight and I commend you!

Job well done!


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Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I felt that I could relate to this story line, I did differently then my family wanted and now I am basically shunned. I am no longer invited to family events or holidays, my children are, but not me. It is a sad situation yet I feel theor own loss. I stand for what I believe in, even if I'm standing alone!

Well written, easily flows line after line and verse after verse. I can only suggest to add some text color and maybe play around with the font and placement. It is good as it is but these simple changes could just place it even more on point!!

Nice Job!!~


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Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart*

Smiles on this writer and reviewer's face for sure!! Look at this list of these amazing names!! Wonderful1


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Review of Wish  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I just read your poem and would like to give you some feedback and suggestions. You do not have to take any of them at it's just some friendly help. Best way for me to do this is I copied and pasted your poem here and I will do my suggestions in () so you can spot them easily.

I was walking by the river, feeling the breeze blow my hair.
(the breeze flowing through my hair)
I’ve been having this longing, for your never ending stare.
this (deep) longing
The wind will go on forever, until the end of time.
(last forever) (going till the end of time)
Yet you still haven’t given me: a forever sign.
I wish the sun was your lovely stare.
I wish the wind could proclaim your feelings for me.
I wish the river’s constant flowing was your undying love.
I wish you would just admit you want me.

I was walking by the river, waiting for the rising sun.
I was looking at it, when I realized you were the one.
(I was gazing up at it, when I realized you're the one)
The sun will rise every day, until the end of time.
Yet the “love” you’ve been giving me, should be a crime.
(should be considered a crime)
I wish the sun was your lovely stare.
(soft,gazing stare)
I wish the wind could proclaim your feelings for me.
I wish the river’s constant flowing was your undying love.
I wish you would just admit you want me.

That is really just a few suggestions on switching up some words to give it some more depth.

Great job!!

Write On my friend!!~


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Review of In A Mirror  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I just read your poem and wanted to leave you some feedback!~

I loved this poem and the story that is within. It was well versed and flowed with ease as I read each word. This is something that so many people deal with...seeing someone in the mirror that they can't believe is them...seeing someone different then who the world sees them as. It can be a vicious battle fighting with yourself.

Only thing that I thought maybe could be changed was this line:

I fall into the bed, unconscious, and start over again

"I fall into bed unconscious, just to start all over again"

Just a thought because the last four words seem to be missing a word or so.

Also if you were to center this, change text color, font, or style, it would draw the reader even deeper into your poem!!~

Do what you wish with my advice because honestly it is great as it is!!

Write On my friend!!~


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Review of I remember us  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello!!~ Thought I would leave you some feedback on your poem!

This is about such deep, raw emotions and the reader can FEEL them as they read along...it flows smoothly, verse after verse. It speaks about a pain that we have all felt one way or another at some point in our lives.

I think that maybe changing up the font, text color and placement would put this whole poem right on point!!

Good Job!~

Write On!~


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Review of Angels  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello!~ I just read your poem and wanted to leave you some feedback on it!~

I loved what your poem was about, the angels and spirits that walk among us are to watch over us. Guiding and protecting us from the things we cannot see. I thought that this was well written and the words smoothly flow.

Couple of suggestions...Try playing around with the placement of the poem, if you place it in the middle it will draw the reader in more. As well as changing the color of the text, or font style. There is a lot of things like that you can do that truly change the way it reads.

The other thing was just a typo I do believe:

And if you free mind

"And if you freed your mind"
I think is what you were wanting to say.

Overall it was a great job!!

Write On!~


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Review of Yellow Flower  
Review by Jen~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! I read your poem and wanted to leave you some feedback!

In a matter of four sentences you expressed grief, sorrow and pain of losing a loved one. When someone we love is gone we often will find many things that remind us of that person in one way or another...we seek and desire it, finding comfort in the remembering of them.

The only thing that I thought maybe could use a little tweaking was this line:

basking in the light of the new-born sun

I think that "new-born" should be "newborn" or even maybe "newly born"

Just a suggestion, other then that it was a nice job!!

Write On!~


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Review of Consumed  
Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem simply bled passion and desire with each and every word. The placement, spacing and flow made it even more intense to read. The reader can feel the deep emotions of love, want and need.

I did not notice any grammar or typos that need attention!

Well written, keeps the reader hanging on to each word.

Write On!!~


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Review of Shattered  
Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a well written poem. The reader can almost feel the defeat that she feels as she searches mask after mask, looking for someone who doesn't wear one. Finding that someone is life changing and takes away all the bad you may have had to go through to get to the good! Easy to read, words flow smoothly. Good Job!

Write On~


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Review of Size Matters  
Review by Jen~
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Ha Ha! This was humorous to read.

Perhaps trying adding some text color and playing around with some placement and spacing and see what you come up with. I learned that while you may not think that helps the way it flows and reads, it greatly does!!

Nice job...Write On!~


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Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (4.5)
The brought me to tears! The knowing of no pain no more is the only comfort the mother can find...Releasing her child to the angels above..from her arms to theirs. This was very heart touching and full of expressive emotions!

Written well, flows smoothly and verse by verse keeps the reader intertwine!!

Write On!~


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Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (3.0)
A truly captivating look on how someone can be in the deepest of the dark and be pulled out by something that they least expect. The reader can almost feel as they read,the demons retreating and how the feelings start to change..from despair to perhaps new starts. Well written, flows smooth!

Good Job!`

Write On!~


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Review by Jen~
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Your pain and grief can be felt through your words. Addiction is an awful thing that happens to good people, then changes them. It affects not only the addict but everyone in that person's life as well. I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered and I hope that in your good memories of him , he will live with you forever in your hearts.

Nice Job!~

You may like something I wrote...it is in my port, called "The Battle"

Write on!


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Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (4.0)
Awesome poem and really does express the questions we all ask ourselves in life. The what if's, what should and what might be...wondering if we are right or wrong...wondering if the choices we make are good or bad..You captured the way we ask ourselves in a great way!! Flowed smoothly and easy to follow!

Good Job!~

Write On!~


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Review of This Life  
Review by Jen~
Rated: E | (2.5)
Well written with a lot of emotional expression. The reader is pulled into the troubled mind that these thoughts stem from....feeling the darkness they are trapped in.

One thing that I can suggest is that you had it flowing 2 lines then spacing and then it switches to a couple verses with 3 lines. It makes it a little harder to keep the flow going. Just a suggestion!!

Good job. Write On!~


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Review of My Only Company  
Review by Jen~
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is a interesting view on loneliness and what the conscience controls. I liked the way it read, easy and flowing. I did notice perhaps one thing...

In the straight and narrow path.

(On) the straight and narrow path

Just a thought! Good job and Write On!


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