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535 Public Reviews Given
786 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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201
201
Review by Grammar Hawk
Rated: E | (4.5)
WHAT WORKED----This is a statement of basic religious beliefs and advice which could apply to many people.

TECHNICAL ERRORS----This might be more effective if it were broken into several shorter, much less complex, sentences.

OVERALL-----This was a little confusing, predominantly because of the long sentences. The meaning was obscured slightly by the presentation.

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202
202
Review of Power  
Review by Grammar Hawk
Rated: E | (5.0)
WHAT WORKED----This piece is wonderful! It paints a picture in the mind which is as compelling as the water you speak of.


TECHNICAL ERRORS----I noticed no technical errors in this piece.


OVERALL-----Excellent imagery in a piece which was well presented and which flowed smoothly from place to place.

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203
203
Review by Grammar Hawk
Rated: E | (4.5)
WHAT WORKED----This explains the 'why' of how much we should write in a very clear fashion


TECHNICAL ERRORS----

journal and in its -- comma after 'journal'

OVERALL-----Everything was progressing very well until the last paragraph when you said "We should do it almost every day." The inclusion of the word 'almost' directly conflicts with your earlier statement that writers should write 'every day', and because of this, it detracts from the entire piece.

Good thoughts, but that last bit needs work.

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204
204
Review by Grammar Hawk
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
WHAT WORKED----Well presented with logical progression from rabbits to humans, and from point to point explaining cause and effect.


TECHNICAL ERRORS----

Mother Nature herself had -- commas around 'herself'

These swift virulent diseases -- comma after 'swift'

Mother Nature in her planetary wisdom has -- comma after 'Nature' and after 'wisdom'

chosen once again to -- comma before and after 'once again'

OVERALL-----This story draws you in with a slightly humorous anecdote, then slaps you in the face with reality. Very good!

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205
205
Review of A Life for a Life  
Review by Grammar Hawk
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very good little story, but it doesn't feel 'finished' It feels more like a small scene from a much larger storyline.

The scene is well developed. The only problem I had with the story was the chase scene. it seemed that they ran a very long distance, over plains, through woods, across numerous streams, etc.

Technically, I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors.

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