WHAT WORKED----This was logical, well organized, and interestingly presented.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
The use of a spell checker is always beneficial to a good writer.
OVERALL-----This was interesting, but there was little information concerning several points which were mentioned and never expanded, for example, the death tax.
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WHAT WORKED----This item was well organized, and mildly funny.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no grammar or spelling errors that I could find.
OVERALL-----While the premise of the item was good, you didn't really explain your conclusions, relying, instead, on the reader knowing what you were referring to in each story.
If you think the modern versions of these nursery rhymes are bad, you should check out the original versions. They were much more gruesome, and were updated to remove some of the violence about a hundred years ago.
By the way, you forgot Snow White who lived with seven men at the same time, and Goldilocks who was not only a house invader, but committed major destruction on the Bears' home.
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TECHNICAL ERRORS----
disetation -- is this a word? I can't find it in my dictionary.
OVERALL-----When I read something like this, my main question is, 'why didn't you teach them any better when they were younger?' All boys do not act like this. Some do, some don't. It all depends on the training of.....the father.
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WHAT WORKED----This is very funny and very true to life.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
Or course, each -- 'of' not 'or'
OVERALL-----The paragraphs seem not to stick to one single point each, but blend a couple points or split points between two paragraphs.
I feel very saddened by this story. It was delightful, but I feel sorry for both the dog, who now wears one of those painful electronic collars, and you, who no longer has the free spirited dog you originally had. As long as a dog is not being harmful or dangerous to others, I don't like electronic collars.
The story was still well done and the ending was wonderful. Illegal, but a good thought.
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WHAT WORKED----This is an interesting storyline, and it has potential.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors that I could find in this story.
OVERALL-----The story started out full of action and interest, then seemed to fall apart for some reason I can't really explain. The action just seemed to slow to a crawl.
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WHAT WORKED----This is a wonderful idea! I heartily support everything you said, especially about giving Texas back to Mexico---and making this November a whole new (happier) experience.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
American’s, -- no apostrophe
OVERALL-----Now, about jazz and Blues---Could we give Louisana back to France?
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TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors.
OVERALL-----I know it adds conintuity to the story to put the title line at the end of the fist four paragraphs, but it doesn't make sense since it doesn't happen until the fifth paragraph. My six year old grand daughter wanted to know when the tree ate the first kite and why the kid let it happen a second time.
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WHAT WORKED----This was funny and suspenceful from beginning to end.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors.
OVERALL-----I think the next to last paragraph gives away too much too soon---might be better to use that information in the last line---but it is still great.
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WHAT WORKED----This is hilarious, as usual when you are writing, Hooves.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----You may find it beneficial to check out "Invalid Item" as a way to improve your use of commas. I know typing with your hooves is difficult, but proper punctuation really is important.
OVERALL-----I hope all the writing Hooves is doing is going into a very wonderful book for the young, and the young at heart.
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WHAT WORKED----This item is detailed, well organized, and logically presented with appropriate links and instructions at each step of the process.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----I found no grammar or spelling errors.
For those of us with 'old' eyes, the lighter font colors on the yellow background can become a problem when used for entire paragraphs. Making the colors bold helps considerably without detracting from the enjoyable use of the multiple colors.
OVERALL-----Knowing my reviews can always be improved, I will be keeping this item in my favorites for constant reference.
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Please double space between paragraphs for easier reading.
OVERALL-----I can't help but feel that adding the 'why' of your running away might have been good. Also, more explanation of the 'new life' you mentioned would explain a lot.
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forming?" He's 43 years old and in pretty good health." My hubby said, "don't ask Cliff, he'll make cut out the iced tea and sodas." --- consider italicizing her entire conversation with you to reduce the quotation mark confusion.
help the passage. -- delete 'the passage' since you said the same thing at the beginning of the sentence.
OVERALL----Back at the beginning, tell us why someone would contact you concerning this subject, and what qualifies you to give advice. Do not rely on the final "References granted upon request". Anyone seeing this is not going to ask for further information unless they already think you have reason to be qualified.
When talking about 'infusion' and 'decoction', define your terms for those of us who are ignorant of the process, and then explain EXACTLY how to prepare these things. Assume total ignorance, and total ineptitude and write it in a way we can follow. Otherwise, using the words and assuming we know what to do simply makes the reader feel stupid, which is not your intent.
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WHAT WORKED----This is excellent. It is easy to understand, logically presented, and interestingly formatted.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----I found no grammar or spelling errors.
OVERALL-----I don't review a lot of poetry because it is usually either very 'dark', very 'mushy', or so strangely written I don't understand it. This is none of those things.
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WHAT WORKED----This is another excellently drawn word picture which brings the reader into the heart of a Maine winter. I can feel the chill as the wind bites through my coat.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no grammar or spelling errors.
OVERALL-----After feeling this winter through your words, I'm not sure I want to feel that chill in reality. Very well done.
WHAT WORKED----This story is absolutely precious. It holds all the elements of a perfect story of love and friendship, with a little humor tossed in to make it fun.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors.
WHAT WORKED----This is a good story, well presented, and interesting from start to finish.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----I found no grammar or spelling errors in this story.
OVERALL-----So if I think it's so good, why only 4.5 stars? Well, mostly because of the ending. It just......stopped. There was no explanation of what it was that actually made him laugh. Was it the physical comedy? Death? Non-war related death? And how was he going to make others laugh except by his own death? There was just no conclusion to the ending.
WHAT WORKED----This is an interesting statement of your beliefs.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----I didn't find any grammar or spelling errors in this item.
OVERALL-----With your statement of belief, I find the first paragraph difficult to reconcile. It is simply talking about our physical body, not our spiritual being, so why is it impossible to accept?
WHAT WORKED----This contains some interesting thoughts and a good suggestion.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no grammar or spelling errors that I could find.
OVERALL-----I believe you'll find that we have, indeed, had non-Americans wage war on American soil before. While the country was still growing, we battled with the French coming down from Canada, and lost part of Washington DC to fire. While it has been many decades, it did happen.
I'm not sure linking a war with God is ever a good thing, whether He is used as the reason for the war, or the reason for victory, God has never been in favor of killing in this way, and I doubt He would approve of having His name linked to it.
WHAT WORKED----The writing was logically presented and indicated research.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no grammar or spelling errors. The Bible verse should have been detailed, giving chapter and verse identification, rather than just saying the quote came from the Bible.
OVERALL-----While your reasoning seems sound, you fail to take a few things into consideration. First, the evolution of the holiday from a pagan to social event is not clearly detailed. Second, almost all major Christian holidays began as pagan events, including many features of the Christmas season. If you condem Halloween because of it's links to paganism, you must do the same for all holidays with such roots.
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