WHAT WORKED----This is a good story, well written, and well presented in a logical way.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
country unprovoked started -- commas around 'unprovoked'
OVERALL-----The story was good, but the overall impact was negative, in my opinion. I can't understand people who only love their country when they are happy with the way it is being run. Patriotism doesn't end because the President and/or congress does something wrong.
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WHAT WORKED----This is great. It's true to the 'facts' of the original story, portrays the characters as realistically as possible (except in the Sam/Frodo relationship, I hope) , and is well thought out.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
in Judge you may be seated --in Judge. You may be seated.
OVERALL-----I was a little disappointed that JJ seemed to be on the wrong side, but then again, that is rather true to life, too. Even with the slight punctuation problem, I gave you a 5.0 because it was so exceptionally done.
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WHAT WORKED----This was well written and logically presented.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors in this item.
OVERALL-----While your presentation appears logical, it ("Turning to those who are older and wiser could become a thing of the past, as the young are now teaching the old.") falls apart on a very basic level. Since the beginning of civilization, the older generation has taught, the younger generation has learned and then improved, and the elders have adapted by learning new skills. But, it is still the parent who teaches the child until the child is old enough to invent and learn new skills which the parent will adapt to. If the older generation, the parents, do not teach first, the younger generation cannot learn, invent, and advance. The older generation may not always teach the same things, but they will never stop being the first teachers every new generation has.
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WHAT WORKED----This is a great explanation of the absurdity of some teaching practices.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
the wholes start -- holes
Please double space between paragraphs for easier reading.
OVERALL-----No, we will do nothing for the next generation, because those in power will never admit what you have admitted.
Personally, I think the classics, especially the ones you mentioned, should be relegated to a small section of literature classes rather than being taught in such detail. There are thousands of equally gifted authors who are almost ignored simply because there is no room in the curriculum for them once the 'greats' are given entire courses for themselves. The greatest literature class I ever took was World Literature---which gave exactly one small chapter to Shakespeare. On the other hand, it gave massive sections to the literature of Germany, Russia, and China, among others.
Bottom line, we cannot change the future until we admit a failing in the past, and none of the 'scholars' of literature are going to do that. Students will be studying Shakespeare well into the next millenium.
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WHAT WORKED----Well said! You have good points which are well argued and explained.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors that I could find.
Please double space between paragraphs for easier reading.
Extremely long paragraphs are very difficult to read. Please consider breaking them into shorter segments.
OVERALL-----I'm not sure when you wrote this, or if you are still in that same school, but if you are, I think you should show this item to your parents----and talk to them about transferring you to another school, or at least getting you into additional programs to challenge your mind.
Thankfully, class sizes are getting smaller, more schoold are allowing students to work at their own pace, and the computer has become an excellent learning/teaching tool. Don't limit yourself to what you are 'learning' in school. Use the internet to expand your horizons, even if you don't get 'credit' academically.
And write!!! Write every day. And when you aren't writing, read. There is nothing which can teach you more about writing than a good book, and I'm not talking about only the classics. Even the simplist children's book can teach you a great deal. I still read fairy tales just to feel the flow of well written stories, and I'm past the half century mark.
Good luck with your writing and your education.
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WHAT WORKED----This is very well written, orderly, well developed, and very clear.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors in this item.
Please double space between paragraphs for easier reading.
OVERALL-----You are a writer. You may not be published, but you are still a writer. You developed your craft in three ways: you read, you write, and you dream. When you read, you absorb the elements of a good story, the stories which make you feel the way you want others to feel about your work. When you write, you put your heart and soul into your words. And when you dream, you imagine the things others can only see through your words on paper. You are a writer. Now get to writing!
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WHAT WORKED----This is funny, well written, descriptive, and makes the reader feel as if they are part of the action.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
Just a typo:
way I come so -- 'came' not 'come'
OVERALL-----I enjoyed this story. The average person will never get a chance to experience something like this in real life. Your words have made it real for all of us.
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WHAT WORKED----This is a good explanation of how your love of music and the cello relates to the rest of your life.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
a high level of feeling or activity by the dictionary. -- Are you saying the activity is taken by the dictionary? I don't think so, but that's the way it reads.
apart -- a part
OVERALL-----The refeences to 'Lady' and 'Goddess' are extraneous and confusing unless you explain who She is and how She affects your life.
The cello is an interesting instrument. I only played it a short time because of a limited distance my fingers could stretch (I have small hands) and so chose the viola instead. Vibrato was my downfall. I still love the instrument, and would like to play again, but doubt it will happen.
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WHAT WORKED----This was funny, totally irreverent, and very well presented.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were lots of spelling errors, but all consistent with the nature of the story.
Please double space between paragraphs for easier reading.
OVERALL-----This was fun to read. I would love to read the next section, where God comes back after His golf game and finds out his lil problem has spread throughout the galaxy and now the other gods are really ticked at Him.
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WHAT WORKED----This is funny and very well written.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no grammar or spelling errors that I could find.
OVERALL-----I've been infected with the virus for decades, and even caught it while in school. There must be a seperate strain that attacks children, after all.
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You may find it beneficial to check out "Invalid Item" as a way to improve your use of commas.
OVERALL-----I can't help but feel there should be something about Santa being angry or doing something which prompts this confessional. The whole thing just feels like it needs 'more' to really make it relevant.
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WHAT WORKED----Oh, this is excellent! You did an excellent job of introducing and describing the character of the dragon.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no grammar or spelling errors.
OVERALL-----This is wonderful! I want to read more about these two. I can see the potential for many adventures and a very interesting book about their life together. Fantastic!
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WHAT WORKED----This appears to be well organized and researched, and has potential.
TECHNICAL ERRORS----
Light blue on a yellow background is a color combination which is very hard on the eyes when used in large sections of type.
OVERALL-----While the information is logically organized, there are so many side comments thrown in (song references, etc.) that the thread of the thought becomes lost.
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TECHNICAL ERRORS----There were no spelling or grammar errors that I could find.
OVERALL-----I thought this was ridiculous, and not in a good way. It was absurd, and a waste of a very well described scene. The attempt at humor fell short of the goal.
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