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800 Public Reviews Given
1,160 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Legacy  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Ken! I saw that you posted your entry and decided to give it a read*Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A reminder that people are far more complex than the roles they play in our lives.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This play is set up as one act. The inclusion of the contest requirements allows reviewers to understand the parameters of this piece. The intimate setting of the bedroom seems quite appropriate given the secret they discover *Wink*.


*Check4* Suggestions - None. Well done as always.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "Joshua! Quit looking at the nude photos. That magazine is from the 1940's – she's probably old enough today to be your ..."

Enough said *Laugh*.



I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ozhan ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - The tale of a callous son and his lonely, yet single-minded father.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - A short fiction piece with a quiet yet informative hook. The hook provides us the setting and a ringing phone. Some backstory is provided as Gulshan makes his way to the phone. The call brings an unfortunate resolution.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"... in living in Pune..." - extra in.
"...champions of family value..." - family values


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - the subtle resolution, the moving of the chair.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi khaki ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - You have created two haikus that show images of nature.


*Check3* Structure and Organization -
The first haiku has 14 syllables; 3/6/5. The second haiku has 12 syllables; 3/5/4.

*Check4* Suggestions - In the first haiku you have the line "Posing a pure form" - I don't know what this means. You may want to rethink the word choice.

The second haiku is even more confusing; the second and third lines do not make much sense. Instead of telling us what they're doing show us using sensory images.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "Wearing colorful charms" - it makes me think of the rust-colored leaves of autumn.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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79
Review of The Scarecrow  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi ozhan ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a very interesting piece about a very determined woman. Good for her *Smile*.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This fictional piece consists of 1000 words. The characters reveal themselves through the action. The conflict is clear and interesting. The resolution is very colorful *Wink*.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"...lining up the hill sides with belts of people.." - what are belts of people?

"...fruitless, do you..." - would you.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The quiet determination of Memsahib. This characters choices and will show me a lot about the family dynamics and ultimately about Amrithala. Well done!


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Moments of Gold  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jack Goldman ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A sweet piece about kids, family and communication.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up as a short non-fiction snippet of time. You have chosen to include imags so that the reader can see the richness that populates your life.


*Check4* Suggestions - "...my granddaughters for a visit at that time..." Delete at thaat time. It does not make sense given the rest of the sentence.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The non-verbal communication that the babies used to teach their grandpa *Smile*.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of The Surprise  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Kelticmyst ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A sweet piece about a a surprise birthday gift.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have structured this as a flash fiction, based off a prompt. I'm not sure it really qualifies as a complete fiction piece, due to the lack of a conflict. This feels more like a vignette, it feels like a scene rather than a story.


*Check4* Suggestions - I think you need some conflict to create a full narrative arc. Without some conflict to overcome the story is not engaging for the reader.

Additionally, you have some missing punctuation and misplaced punctuation around the quotation marks.

*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The tenderness of the scene is easy to relate to, it really conveys romantic love.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Soon Enough  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Winnie Kay ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a heart-breaking and yet relateable tale.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have crafted a 296 word piece that conveys a lifetime of shared love, and unfortunate loss.


*Check4* Suggestions - None.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "He sat at the old, yellow laminate table, its chrome once shiny now dull from neglect and abandonment. He remembered the fresh azaleas Bess kept here, fresh cut from the little garden out back. Weeds and sea grass have taken over the yard he once tended and manicured."

You use this paragraph to show forty years of marriage and convey the emotion behind his decision. Well done!



I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Fast is Fast  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Jay Seymour ! I'm reviewing your entry for "Invalid Item"  *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A tale of karma.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up as a short fiction piece. The hook takes the route of old-style fairy tales. The conflict is resolved by a potion from a strage outsider.


*Check4* Suggestions - You do a lot of showing in this piece, expressing things via narration. This would pull readers in more completely if you showed them what was happening.



*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The irony of the potion used to pay back the king.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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84
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello rlthomas ! I am reviewing your work on behalf of "Reviewing Reviewers ~ ON HIATUS"  [E], because you participated in the March Madness Contest. Please accept my review as advice from a reader, take what is helpful and disregard the rest.

*Note1* Overall Impression - You have succinctly expressed the reasons you review and the techniques which you employ.


*Note2*Writing Elements - You've set this up as a straight-forward essay that explains the why and how behind your reviews.


*Note3*Suggestions -
"I know that many people would been thrown off by misspelled words..." - missing word.

"I believe it is as true as that which Carl Buchener said..." - the phrasing here is a little awkward, consider revising.


*Note4* Favorite part or line -

"A moving piece is one that keeps moving through the reader; I want the writer to move me." - Great line *Smile*.



Thank you for allowing me to read your work today. Write on!

Phoenix
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85
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hiallayer ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a heart-breaking glimpse of the dangers of jealousy turning into aggression.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - The set up appears to be aabbccdd... The syllable counts are fairly close, they appear to range from 9-15 syllables per line.


*Check4* Suggestions -
You use commas at the end of every line, this makes it feel like one incredibly long sentence. You might want to consider adding some full stops to add more impact to certain lines.

Additionally, tightening up the syllable count might
make it read more smoothly.

One final suggestion, add some space. This currently reads as one giant stanza, if you group the lines together, the stanzas can serve as components of the tale. This would provide a natural sequencing.

*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The presence of a complete narrative arc in your poem. This feels like a cautionary tale meant to warn others.


I see your a new member of WDC. Welcome and write on!


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86
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pepper ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a very engaging article.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This article is set up well, the paragraphing is laid out with particular attention to reading on the screen. The list of resources at the end offers additional tools for writers (I've read three of the books - and loved them*Heart*).


*Check4* Suggestions - Your voice is a little stiff in the first few paragraphs. By the fifth paragraph I really started to feel the rhythm of what you were saying, did using the words of other writers stifle you a bit? I'm not sure what to suggest, other than to read back through and see if your words really express what you intended.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "When we, through reviewing, act as the editor, we become much more conscious of what qualifies as effective writing and what doesn’t. We also rev up our own creative juices as we try to help the writer solve various problems. When that awareness, that knowledge is applied to our own work, we improve our craft." - Excellent point *Smile*.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review by Phoenix
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Legerdemain ,
This is a fabulous contest to push and support writers to committ to their writing each day. I can't wait to get started. I'm including a little donation for your fantastic contest.
Phoenix
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Review of The Soul Of India  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Moriarty ! I wanted to read your entry*Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a very engaging piece to commerate Earth Day. You take a hard look at the life-giving water of the Ganges and reflect on the human condition in the process, very moving.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up as a short piece which appears to be fictional(?). It appears that the contest requirements were 500 or fewer words, but since the contest has passed you could easily expand this piece because it has all the necessary fiction elements, and could fall nicely into a larger piece about a son and his father.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"...Himalayas which ensure year round supply of water..." - consider adding a before year.

"...cascaded down my eyes..." - tears cascade down your cheeks.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The son's detailed reflection on the water and its role as "mother" and then the individual decision to pollute the water with his father's ashes, hmmm....


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of When It Rains  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Nom D. Guerre ! I am reviewing your entry for "Invalid Item"  *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - WOW! I was holding my breath throughout and then when she started to cry, well I began to cry as well. Well done!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have a clear and heart-wrenching hook. The central conflict is apparent and the tension builds quite nicely toward it. Laughter is an unusual, but ultimately understandable way to resolve this.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"...but I forget to the excess off the pad." - missing word

"...scattering a rolling off the table..." - I think a was supposed to be and.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The point of view of this piece. The intimate, yet distant perpective of the sibling made the moment of resolution even more dramatic.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Damaged sight  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Jimminycritic ! I'm reviewing your entry for "Invalid Item"  *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A melancholy tale about the risks of playing with magic and trying to reconnect with the dead.

*Check3* Structure and Organization - The conflict is a bit muddied, I think if you expand this and provide a little more sensory details you could ground it in the moment. The resolution is clear and provides the tie in to the theme, be careful of what you play with.


*Check4* Suggestions - I think you need to expand this. As I mentioned, more sensory description could give this texture. Such an ethereal piece needs some grounding in order to connect with the reader.Perhaps if you expanded on the cleaning house section, or provide momentary snippets between the narrator and his father.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The thin line between angelic names and demonic names. This small distinction speaks of the slight shifts that give us what we term as "evil".


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Ever After  
Review by Phoenix
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi LdyPhoenix ! I dropped in for a member to member review. This review reflects my thoughts as a reader, please take what is of value to you and disregard the rest. A review from one mythical bird to another *Wink*.

*Star* Overall - A visually appealing poem that cautions against getting what you wish for.

*Star* Flow - Overall a very smooth read.

*Star* Grammar and Spelling - none noted.

*Star* Suggestions - In the final stanza there is an unbalance in the first two lines. The visual appeal is broken because the second line has four words and the third has three. Although they are close in length, it is counter to the rest of the piece and it causes a collapsing diamond.


Write on!
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Review of My Love  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Christina~Thanks StoryMaster ! I dropped in for a member to member review. This review reflects my thoughts as a reader, please take what is of value to you and disregard the rest.

*Star* Overall - A melancholy love poem about a hidden truth between lovers.

*Star* Flow - The word choices are smooth and emotionally evocative.

*Star* Grammar and Spelling - none that I noticed.

*Star* Suggestions - The word baby at the beginning does not seem to fit with the rest of the poem.

Write on!
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Review of The Verdict  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Prof Moriarty ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A heart-wrenching story of a family tradition destroyed by a large corporation.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up with an engaging hook about a man in the water. The conflict is a David and Goliath scenario with what looks like David triumphing, but...(I will not spoil the ending).


*Check4* Suggestions -

"South-West" - southwest

“Kerala Fisherman Association (KFA) - unnecessary and incomplete quotes.

You use "had" quite a number of times, it causes the narration to feel a bit stiff in places. Most of the usages are unnecessary, consider removing them.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - You created an endearing charater, one who is quite easy to identify with and root for. Well done!


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Free_Rip ! Please accept my review as advice from a reader, take what is helpful and disregard the rest.

*Note1* Overall Impression - A tension-filled dialogue story. You had me on the edge of my seat wondering about what happened and how the main character could have prevented it.


*Note2*Story/Poetry Elements - A dialogue only short story. You have an interesting conversation which presents a hook and conflict. The resolution is kind of missing.


*Note3*Suggestions - I think this needs to contain more explanation and a resolution. Just having Mel disappear doesn't provide a satisfying end to this piece.


*Note4* Favorite part or line - The powerful emotion contained in less than 200 words, you've conveyed despair and regret exceptionally well in a short piece.


Thank you for allowing me to read your work today. Write on!

Phoenix
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Review of Illusions  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ken! Here I am with review number two*Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - You are a master of the twist, I didn't see this coming at all. I had visions of knights, horses, and bearded wizards *Laugh*.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - Set up as a short fiction piece with a complete arc and sad resolution, at least as far as Merlin's concerned *Delight*.


*Check4* Suggestions - None.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The superior attitude that this stealthy scout has.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Genres  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Happy May 2024! ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A striking contrast between two distinct emotional realms.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have perfectly used the Diamante. I do like the contrasting color, but with the large font size it is very powerful.


*Check4* Suggestions - Maybe decreasing the font size would tone down the effects of the color, because I do like the use of the two colors.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "Pressure, heat, symbol, passion"



I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Strain  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Ken! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - He he he...breath, he he he...*Laugh*.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This flash fiction uses the prompt as a hook. I love the direction this went, you turned knives into a viral attack, based in swine *Delight*.


*Check4* Suggestions - None, this is fantastic.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The final one *Laugh*, but I won't ruin it for anyone else.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of My Review Tool  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi rebfann ! I am reviewing your template for "Invalid Item"  . Your entry was late, so it cannot receive a prize. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A clean, to the point template.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - It begins with a nice welcome, contains a review elements, and closes with suggestions to help the author.


*Check4* Suggestions - Adding a little color and writingmL would add interest to the template.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - I like the fact that you included a note that welcomes questions from the reviewee.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of My review tool  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lexi ! I am reviewing your template on behalf of "Invalid Item"  *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - You have created a very eye-catching template.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have a greeting, a section of review elements, and a friendly closing.


*Check4* Suggestions - A little writingmL could jazz this up a bit.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - I like the inclusion of a level of emotion section.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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Review of Review Template  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pepper ! I am reviewing your entry for "Invalid Item"  *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a very eye-catching template.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have sections for overall impression, favorite lines, suggestions, grammar/sentence structure, and bottom line.


*Check4* Suggestions - The inclusion of a greeting and the author's handle adds a personal touch.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - Your artistic use of writingmL *Delight*.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


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