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800 Public Reviews Given
1,160 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Daniel Harris Blacke ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a very intense expression of personal rejection and what it does to your soul *Cry*.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is a free verse poem, with stanzas of various lengths. The centered format almost creates a physical impression of a person standing in isolation, good image.


*Check4* Suggestions - Some of the lines are too cryptic, it's as if the details are wrapped up in the anger. Unfortunately, it makes the meaning partially hidden for readers. Consider editing with both a sense of emotional release and communication.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The visual effect, it really is eye-catching.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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127
127
Review of Library of Souls  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Hyperiongate ! I dropped in for a review today, because I haven't been around for a while *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - What a big oops *Wink*!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - The beginning was clear, but a little abrupt (that's the nature of 300 words I suppose).
There is an interesting conflict and a resolution.

*Check4* Suggestions - ”Holy Cow - has a backwards set of quotation marks at the beginning.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "The little angel pulled out something that appeared to be Blackberry and began typing. A few moments later he looked up and said, “Oops.”" *Laugh*



I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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128
128
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi A. J. Stevens ! You reviewed me a while back and so I thought I would return the review favor*Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A poem filled with emotion and longing.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up with a repeating refrain that "belongs" to your lost love. You have an interesting rhyme scheme here, it's not completely in sync, but it seems to maintain a rhythm.

*Check4* Suggestions - I question the use of the f word, until that point I was with you. I understand the sentiment, but I think you are equipped with the ability to find other words. It interrupts the flow and startled me as a reader. Just my two cents.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - “You’re five steps ahead and three of them are wrong.” Very thought provoking!




I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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129
129
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi McSunset ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A very thought-provoking question.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is a very short series of mostly questions. It seems designed to raise a discussion, but it is incomplete.


*Check4* Suggestions - You have the same four sentences/questions repeated twice in the first paragraph.

"offence" - offense

"Is it better to learn them how" - teach them, learn them is used twice in this piece. We teach people things and they learn from us.

This really needs to be edited, I have only pointed out a few problems, but there are more. Additionally, the ideas presented should be flushed out to provide a basis for discussion. If you make changes and edit I would be happy to rerate this later *Smile*.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The intent of starting a dialogue.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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130
130
Review of The Tin Ear  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Del ! I dropped in for a review today. You reviewed me earlier today and I wanted to return the favor *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A reminder of how powerful our early teachers are. It's wonderful that you still had such a strong appreciation for music, actually it's probably responsible for it.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up as a first-person account of your relationship with music.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"It may have been that he wanted to me..." - I think you meant me
to.

There is a bit of a stiffness in your words and perspective in the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th paragraphs. You begin a number of lines with there or that and it feels detached.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The fact that your singing became successful with a hymn based on Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, ironic life isn't it? *Wink*


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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131
131
Review by Phoenix
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi E.Houben ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. You reviewed me earlier today, so I decided to return the favor. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is a very informative article. The fact that you mention having recently completed your understanding of this technique, lends credibility to your words.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is well set up for reading on the screen. The use of highlighting punctuates certain words and phrases.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"I advice you to start working..." - advise

"Whitout a theme he..." - without

"...as good as place as..." - as good a place

"need .If you" - Space after the period, not before.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - Your intention in sharing this writing activity, it is helpful to shar what you learn.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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132
132
Review of The Awakening  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Paradoxical ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A reminder to hold on to those things that really matter. We are only trapped if we let our thoughts lead us into the cage.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is laid out well for the screen. Spacing and dialogue shifts are clear.


*Check4* Suggestions - "took soon hold of him..." - I think you mean soon took hold.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The moment we he wakes up and has his Christmas awakening. A very Scrooge-like moment *Smile*!


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!

Phoenix
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133
133
Review of Dare To Be  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - This is stunning. You have paid tribute to your daughter, not as a child but as a person. Well done!

*Check3* Structure and Organization - Four stanzas with four to six lines each. The structure appeared to be aabb ccdd etc...


*Check4* Suggestions - None.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line -
"The person that we see today
will, by tomorrow, go away
and in her place a woman new
and that new person will be "you."



Ken - this poem is striking. I'm referring as much to the heart as well as the write.*Star*

Phoenix
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134
134
Review of Nature  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi DRHF ! I dropped in for a member to member review. This review reflects my thoughts as a reader, please take what is of value to you and disregard the rest.

*Star* Overall - This is a melodic ode to the splendor of nature and a warning about our quest for advacement.

*Star* Flow - The rhythm of this is very smooth and the imagery is vibrant and vivid.

*Star* Grammar and Spelling - I have one word that I'm wondering about:"eulagy" - the American spelling is eulogy. Did you use the British spelling or is this a typo?

*Star* Suggestions - I think "blacked" would read better as blackened. Just a thought.


Write on!
135
135
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi omniblueyes ! I dropped in for a member to member review. This review reflects my thoughts as a reader, please take what is of value to you and disregard the rest.

*Star* Overall - A very funny ode to a pharmaceutical lift *Laugh*!

*Star* Flow - This piece flowed easily, the word choice was fluid and I didn't have any hiccups in my read. The refrain that began and ended the poem punctuated the commercial aspect of the little love assitance you spoke about.

*Star* Grammar and Spelling - I didn't find any errors.

*Star* Suggestions - I do not have any suggestions for this piece. You have kept it short to mimic the commercial (I believe) and I understand that, but if you chose to you could tease this out a bit.


Write on!
136
136
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Sticktalker ! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - Funny, but what came into the campground?????I'm dying to know *Confused*.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - The spacing got all messed up. I think something happened when you transferred this in. The first half has varying indents and the second half has no spacing between paragraphs.


*Check4* Suggestions - Just the spacing and tell me what happened...a bear, a psycho killer, Smokey the Bear, a girl scout *Laugh*!


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - The fact that Justine brought so many toiletries...hehehe*Smile*.


You followed the prompt perfectly. I will post in the forum and email participants when the places are awarded.

Phoenix
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137
137
Review by Phoenix
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
         Hi Lyle! I was poking around in your port and found this in your Dolls folder.*Smile*.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A nice way to memorialize the birth of an idea.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is set up as a brief editorial piece for the first edition of Shadows the Dolls ezine.


*Check4* Suggestions - I think a little spacing is needed, but I know that originally the spacing was dictated by the ezine.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - I love behind the scenes type stuff so I enjoyed this. My husband says it is because I'm nosey *Laugh*.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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138
Review of Endeavor  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
         Hi Ken! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - You have done a great job of simultaneously wrapping beautiful words and speaking about humanity.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You followed the abcabc format. You also followed the syllable requirements perfectly.


*Check4* Suggestions - "When did our great spirit
of consent"

I'm a little unsure of what you are referring to here. I think you are talking about the spirit of working together and resolving to work together even if we disagree, but this is not entirely clear in the word choice. I know the limts of the poem constrain you, so I don't know if you can change anything *Confused*.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line -
"It's not too late to try
for therein
lies the road to our salvation.
Though we may go awry
it's no sin
to fail. Trying built our nation."


P.S. I saw your trophy for Author of the Month from the Angel Army, CONGRATS *Smile**Balloon1*!

I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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139
139
Review of The Snow Fence  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
         Hi Prosperous Snow! You recently reviewed something of mine so I decided to return the review. *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - The picture is adorable!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - The fact that you originally set up your guest book with a review return for a signature is very sweet.


*Check5* Why Did I choose This Item? - I chose your guest book because I also recently attempted a guest book. Mine was part of an assignment, through reviewing others' books I have come to see that people set these up to match their personalities.


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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140
140
Review of Under Your Skin  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
         Hi Two of Four! I dropped in for a review today to return the review favor*Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - What a skin-crawling tale!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - The spacing was appropriate for readability. The dialogue flowed well and was broken up appropriately.


*Check4* Characters - Jared is a grumpy husband who seems to have ticked off his wife. His wife is shrouded a bit, considering she does not even have a name, but given the hint of revenge that may be appropriate.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - I love that the gross bugs may have been delivered with the chocolate cake. Death by chocolate *Laugh*!


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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141
141
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Short Story Review Template

         Hi Anne, I saw this in the Author's Newsletter! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A very descriptive look at a particular time in your life. Well done!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This is written as one large chunk of text. Perhaps spaces between paragraphs would aid the read.


*Check4* Suggestions -
"woke" - awoke might work better.
"The afternoon before we had left the safety" - before we left might sound better.
"staff meeting started in just forty minutes" - wrong tense.
"They looked at me peculiarly as if to inquire" - awkward, consider revising.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - I really enjoyed the moose on the hilltop. It is wonderful to pause and consider them even when you're rushing against time. You really provided an interesting read and a decriptive picture. Bravo!


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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142
142
Review of A Bitter Old Man  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
         Hi Paradoxical it's been a while since I dropped by so I decided to drop in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - An interesting take on how the changes of time affect people.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - It appears that it was mostly couplets until the end when you switched to a stanza.


*Check4* Suggestions - In the first two lines you rhymed "words" with "absurd" - this does not quite work for me, when you pluralize word it changes the sound. Perhaps just my pet peeve.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "What is the point of aiming low? Explain to me, 'cause I don't know"

Good for you!


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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143
Review of A DATE WITH LIFE  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
         Hi Karma! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - hmmmm....I think the idea is thought-provoking, but I do not think this is poetry. Perhaps prose?


*Check3* Structure and Organization - Two stanzas with no particular rhyme scheme. In both stanzas you have repeated ending words; in the first stanza it is the first two lines, and in the second stanza it is the last two lines. Some forms use a refrain to punctuate a thought, but with just these individual words it feels less like a refrain and more like you need to play with other word choices.


*Check4* Suggestions - While I value the focus on experiencing the moments of your life (do I sound like a coffee commercial - hehe) I think you need to revisit how you're expressing this. Also, you have a typo "golas".


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "Changing goals with every achievement" - I agree that we are a goal-oriented society. It kind of reduces the focus on the journey doesn't it?


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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144
Review of Blue moon  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
         Hi Sssam! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - I really enjoyed this tale. You created a heart-warming schenario and a flawed, but likable character. Well done!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - Both voices blended well together. Your voices worked well together.


*Check4* Grammar/Spelling - I didn't focus on this because of the back-and-forth nature of a campfire, but later on you do need to make corrections. There are a number of spelling and grammar errors.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "Jenny could feel herself drifting off, and her last thought was, Gee, I didn't know that many people even knew I existed! I guess maybe I do belong here after all."


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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145
145
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
         Hi ShaNoWriMo! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - WOW! You turned an apple pie image into a tale of murder and mental illness (or ghosts - depends on your perspective).


*Check3* Structure and Organization - This tale is laid out well and easy to read.


*Check4* Characters - Junior is well-developed, although I think making him seventeen may be inconsistent with his actions. I would think he should be a couple of years younger to support the idea that he lacks judgement; either judgement to stay clear of a crazy ghost or judgement to know he is going stark-raving mad.

Uriah is well done here. If you had him talk any more the story would be less mysterious. The only problem I see is with making him from the 1800s, because the shirt in the picture is clearly more modern. It would be better to not include the picture and let the readers imagine him on their own (just a thought).


*Check1* Suggestions - "Anyways, she said no when I ask her to the dance at the grange hall last year" - I know you were illustrating his rough language, but in other places you add ed, so for consistency perhaps you could add it.

"hooer" - I know you mean whore, but not all readers would be able to discern this, perhaps it should be closer to the real thing.

*Check5* Favorite Part or Line -
"Now in case ya ain't never heard of Uriah Johnson 'cause you was raised under a rock or somethin', the story goes somethin' like this: back in the 1800s, there was this family, the Johnsons, who lived here in Bixby, Idaho, and they had five kids. They was poor, like real poor, and all their kids was always gettin' inta trouble on accounta they was always hungry and tryin' to steal things and all. The other kids in town made fun of 'em 'cause they wore old ratty clothes and never had nothin' new, and they was all stinky 'cause they never took baths. Everyone hated 'em, pretty much."

I love the line about us living under a rock. This part really engages me, as the reader,in the storyline. Well done!



I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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146
146
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
         Hi Shelleya! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A great way to teach newbie writers some of the terminology of poetry!


*Check3* Structure and Organization - The clues were clear.


*Check4* Level of Difficulty - It is a bit challenging to find all of the terms together on one website. I had to check a couple and even then I did not get them all right.


Thank you for the opportunity to bolster my knowledge of poetry terms and phrases *Smile*.I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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147
147
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
         Hi Fyrdraca! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - A beautiful tribute for our shining satellite.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - You have set this up as one long paragraph. It might read a little better if you put a space after the fifth line, this would create a balance for the eye.


*Check4* Grammar - Twice you used "you're" where your is the correct usage. Also you might want to use periods at the end of some lines, just to aid the read.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "You reflect in the mist like a mirror,showing you're stark splendour."


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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148
Review by Phoenix
Rated: E | (4.5)
Sarah,
I didn't forget you *Smile*. I dropped by your port and decided to add to your in-&-out and then review it. I really enjoyed the concept of this forum, you connect people through our shared memories of embarrassment. Ultimately everyone has a moment, instance, or experience that caused them to blush and feel mortified. I like the introduction and use of color. Additionally, the examples provided at the beginning get the embarrassing juices flowing *Wink*. Write on Sarah!
Phoenix
149
149
Review of The Honey Bucket  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
         Hi Ken! I dropped in for a review and a laugh today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - Hehehe...ROFL*Laugh*. What a memory.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - It appears to be aabb. The notes at the end help explain the unfamiliar vocabulary, thanks.


*Check4* Suggestion - In the second stanza you rhyme outside with sides. It is a little distracting, but I do not have a viable suggestion for you. I can understand your limit with trying to express the experience within the rhyme scheme.


*Check5* Favorite Part or Line -
"Needless to say I lost layers of skin
from all of the bathes and required scrubbin’
from head to toe to get rid of the smell.
I remember they burned my clothes as well."

Oooohhhhh...ouch *Pthb*



I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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Review of A Poem Of Love  
Review by Phoenix
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
         Hi Lyle! I dropped in for a review today *Smile*. Please take my review for any value it provides you as the author, disregard everything else.

*Check2* Overall Impression - An insightful look at all of the ways one can love.


*Check3* Structure and Organization - 3 stanzas of 3 lines. No rhyming scheme was evident, but that did not seem to impede the flow.



*Check5* Favorite Part or Line - "It can be for a hidden fishing spot, A tiny lake reflecting a mountain top"

Nice imagery *Smile*


I review primarily as a reader, and it is as a reader that I thank you for your work *Smile*. Write on*Thumbsup*!


Phoenix
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