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1,858 Public Reviews Given
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The more poetry I read here the more impressed I am with your poem. I am a bit envious that you can do such amazing wrap around at the ends of the lines. I increased the rating.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Not by any means  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Your poem is very powerful and hit the nail on the head. I can't say it hit close to home, it hit it right on.

Because you got it so right, I wonder if you were the one in the relationship. or saw first hand some other family member endure all this. I speak up now. When I see a child getting reamed at the store, I try to firmly let the parent know that the child listens better through love than from fear, if that doesn't work, I threaten to call the police.

If you are in this relationship, get out now. My oldest son ended in prison from the abuse he endured and the rest let loose with what their dad put them through one Thanksgiving. I'd been divorced for years by then. They all still struggle so hard.

I like how you show how you struggle to get the words on paper, and how the constant criticism blocks your writing.

Your third verse should be on a card that you could hand out to abusive parents when you see them out and about.

I was that child and I was the mother of that child. I rarely give fives, but this was so powerful and so well done, it deserves nothing less.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Night Skies  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
You drew me in with the vivid imagery, laying on the grass. What a great way to start off, perfect for not getting a crick in your neck. lol

My kids never screamed to see the lights, but they sure did when the bigger ones boomed and the sound echoed between the islands. Isn't it amazing that so many people can have such different yet the same experiences with independence day?

I liked how you pulled those in the military and their families in. To many it's party time; they don't even think of those not home with their families. As a former service member, thanks. Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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279
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
encrusted with jewels...it just didn't sit right. Encrusted brings a negative image to my mind...would imbedded work better?

I loved the -sparkling with children's dreams'

their brains light...I didn't get that at all. The meaning eluded me.

pitter patter of first love...made me think of toddlers, so I didn't see how it fit. usually first love is in the young, jr. high or high school.

I really loved the whole third verse, it was enchanting.

Up to that verse your rhyming pattern was ABCB then the next verse changed to ABCC and your last verse didn't rhyme at all. I'm not familiar with that style.

Your third verse was your most enchanting with Merlin and unicorns. I liked it the best.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Aquarian  
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I had such a lovely review written and then it all disappeared. I have no clue what I clicked on that did that. So this one may be a bit shorter, the other one was over 600 characters.

I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your poem, especially the first part. I am not really versed in the astrology signs and their characteristics.

The first verse was my favorite as it so aptly described the place that I live. The way you described the weather here was amazing. I live on a harbor is southwest Washington state.

The first part of verse two sounded like time passing. The mind and body part I didn't get. I kept thinking of the different signs, bull, centaur, twins, ram...none of them seemed to fit anything I read so far. I had to wonder if you were speaking of the inner workings of the type of person the zodiac sign was for.

I didn't get the nursery rhyme reference at all. However I did enjoy the poem

If you would be so kind as to answer me and explain it to me, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn
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Review of Fireworks  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The beauty as it smoothed....nicely put even if I don't totally get it. lol But when you mentioned about the colors tinting the face blue, I kind of cracked up. I know you didn't mean it that way, but if a face is blue I'm thinking someone is dead , choking to death or suffocating.

I don't think of 'pop' as thunderous, and when you said 'pop' boomed...it didn't seem to go together.

The other person didn't react to what scared everyone else made me think the person was cold and unfeeling. Then you said the face was stern and that the stern face was beauty.

This was a very intriguing poem, contradictions of negativity and positivity. Very intriguing indeed. Thanks for sharing.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Tadpole Rockets  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
maybe it should be 'broken rainbow scatter(s)

I really liked this. I have to admit, I've never heard of the fireworks rockets being likened to tadpoles before. lol I had to read it twice.

I liked how the satin greens and swirls of gold flowed and painted a great mental picture.

I might have liked the last two verses best, not totally decided. But the 2nd to last made me smile...and I like the natural stars.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Sky Flowers  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well, I'm glad they gave all the information about this style. I thought it was just free verse. lol I'd say you have it down pat. I got the impression that it needed to have negative and very different way of wording, looking at things. You did that, yet I was able to decipher and keep up.

I liked the 'flowers in the sky' that is sort of how I view them. Stood on my porch and watched this year. Sorry for the poor dog.

I liked the sweet memory about your father.

I never knew violets were a weed.

Your last verse was very touching. I felt sorry that you only saw the dying things. My grass is green and lush, my veggie garden is blooming and growing great, and my daisies are bright and flowing as the wind blows. I see so much life. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Love, LinnAnn
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Review of Stolen  
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
What a very touching and sad poem. I'm so glad it had a happy ending. I think there are cads in every young girls life.

You told the story very well, the step by step process from innocence, to pain, to doubt and mistrust, back to the light. The syllable count was a bit off, and the meter. Your rhyming was good and no old passé ones.

I enjoyed the poem and you did well in describing the emotional prison she locked herself in and yet something happened to bring her out of it. Yeah!

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

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285
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
The 'set sail' brought me out of the poem with a harsh yank. All the rest were 'sail on' Also the 'set sail' should be first because that means they have not started to sail and yet the verses before it, the boat was already sailing.

Also, 'place I once belong' sounded like it needed an 'ed' on it since it was past tense.

you mentioned you missed your family out there. I wasn't sure if it was because you'd moved away or if they had died. Either way I can understand the longing of wanted them to know you think of them and miss them. It was a very tender poem and I felt for you.
Thanks for sharing this tender tribute to them and your love for them.
love, LinnAnn
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh, what an unhappy marriage that must be. When I read the 'last choice you'll be making on your own' I was thinking 'annulment'! I realize it's probably tongue in cheek humor, but you really got the irritated, losing the battle point of view from the husband. I really felt for him. Poor guy.
Thanks for sharing this. Now I have to go find something happy to read.
love, LinnAnn
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Review of Hummingbird  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
What a lovely poem. You got all of his description in such a teeny tiny poem. lol
The hummingbird is such a marvel of nature that he can have the energy to fly at all. He must use up the nectar very quickly. You gave me a wonderful mental image with your succinct poem. You did well, and I enjoyed it. Thanks so much for sharing this.
love, LinnAnn
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Review of Wonderland  
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well...it certainly has the 'dark' feeling about it. lol It started out so nice with the magic and releasing the hurt and pain. It starts out sounding so peaceful. The come deeper, sounds so innocent at first and even the second time but then as the tone of the poem changes, those same welcoming words sound more like the trap you make it out to be.

I had no trouble understanding this poem! You did a great job. I'm impressed. I do not often give '5's.
Thanks so much for sharing this. Now I have to go find a happy poem to get rid of the dread feeling. lol
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Balance  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
oooooh, I love this one. You use good, flowing wordage and great rhyming words that are not passé. This is great.

You have great word groupings that give me wonderful imagery, not the old ho hum.

Ruby sky retreats--so much better than the 'sun set'.
Again the --wash the sun-great wordage
I love the last two lines and how you rhymed them with meaning and again imagery. I love this. I rarely give 5's.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn

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290
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Okay, where are the poems of the other feats??? lol I'm sorry, but you made me ask since they weren't covered. This was great, really great. I can't write like that, by you pull it off seemingly so effortlessly.

The pattern was great, rhyming creative and unique, nor boring or 'pat' stuff.
You told the story very well, now seriously, send me the rest.
love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
you said 'he brought me a frog and I knew he was the one.' I wasn't sure if the young man was the 'one' or the frog. lol I wasn't sure who you kissed either, again the gardeners son or the frog.

I had to smile. So 'father' was the original frog prince I take it? lol
So tell me, was the frog another prince?

I loved the dress description. Good imagery! Thanks for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, very nicely done. I am amazed at what a wonderful poem you wrote, especially using pre assigned words. Maybe because it's old fashioned sounding, but I liked the 'could I but tarry in your eyes'. You carried it through the verses so nicely.

I was confused with the first lines of the first and third verses. The first line made me think the subject had blue eyes, the other made me think of black/brown eyes. Then I went up and looked at the picture, so the ebony could be the iris.

The 'forever in another guise' was intriguing. I wasn't sure if you meant the speaker or the subject. That is often the way with poems, the writer tells what's in their heart and we can only guess at their hidden meanings.

Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Strain  
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You're a bit cheeky aren't you? I have to admit you made me chuckle. All that drama and building suspense to have such a smarmy, joke of an ending. I'm still laughing.

Well, you drew me in and held my attention. I'm still chuckling. I'm not sure how to do this review, but I did enjoy it. I really did. STILL laughing.

I don't usually give '5's but his sure came close, just cause of the build up and ending. lol

Thanks for sharing this with us, really.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of P.S. I LOVE YOU!  
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Rated: E | (3.5)
This was very nicely done. I realize you are 'telling ' the story because she has passed away, but it would be so much more powerful if there were more 'showing' in it. Really let the reader be there when you met. Give us the scenery, the noise, pull us in. Give us dialogue. Give us touching, eye contact. There is so much richness you could give to this touching story.

I know getting into and describing the bathroom scene, head injury, how you found her, ambulance etc. There again is so much more you could add to this. It may be painful, but the reader needs to be pulled into this romantic story.

Let me know if you rewrite it. I'd love to read the rewrite.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of The Boil  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I've never seen a dr. that perky involved in the love of patients. Is this how you remember it?

You could take out a whole bunch of tags. If 'she yelped' is in the sentence you dont' need to say 'she said' a few words later.

”OW!” she yelled as she jumped back out of her chair.
“What’s the matter, honey?” I asked, concerned, as I walked up to her. ( I was concerned as I walked up to her. the reader is going to know you asked it)
“I don’t know,” she said, a little fearful. “I’ve got something back there that really hurts. But a zit never hurt like this.”
“Let’s have a look,” I said as I walked behind her. She dropped her slacks and underwear. “Lin, I said (dont need this 'I said' you already said it at the beginning of the sentence.)calmly, you’ve got a little more than a zit here, honey. Looks more like a boil.”
“Oh, swell,” she said, a bit embarrassed now. “Can we drain it?”
“I wouldn’t want to try that, honey. Could get infected. We’d better call Dr. Cardosi.” (see, you didn't need the tag here. I suggest going through the rest and delete as many as you can)
love, LinnAnn

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Review of One by One  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I'm not sure what the message was in your poem, as is often the way of poetry. With my imagination and your words, I brought up different possibilities in my head.

I thought of someone like me who is older and her friends are dying and passing on leaving me behind. But then I also thought of a small girl who is lost and as everyone leaves the park or where ever, she is left alone.

I do not know what was in your head, but you inspired me to think and feel, and that is what poetry is all about.
love, LinnAnn

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297
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I do love poetry about the ocean! I pause when I see a period or comma, so I paused at the 5th line--one object among, --It didn't fit. It pulled me out of your poem. Don't you think it should flow into the next few words?--among endless grains of sand.

I would consider taking out the - after 'walk' and after 'waves'. So it will flow easier.

I didn't understand the 'tickle these shells

I liked the 'Salty hair, dance with the breeze'

You made me wonder about the key. You left me wondering, what key would the ocean leave you?

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of Response to Mama  
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This started out such a lovely tribute to a mother, possibly yours? Then you pulled me out of the tribute when you bring in how bad your stairs are.

Then I got confused; you mention her hard work and then say your stairs twisted and turned. I wasn't sure how to take that. Did her hard work make your stairs harder?

There is a small error in 'All the while I've dealing with change" it should be-dealt with change- or- all the while I'm dealing with change. 'I've' is past tense but dealing is present tense.

The last four lines are very clear in your love and gratitude. Thanks for sharing this with us.

love, LinnAnn
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
you have letting him in before you invite him in...picky I know, but figured you'd want me to let you know. I thought you would like it to be the best, and someone like me might notice that little spot.

I liked this. The first was very dramatic without going into detail. I'm glad you mentioned the eyes and why you let him in. Most people would not let in a stranger. You made it somewhat plausible. With her not feeling like living, it would be possible she might risk letting a stranger in if she were being a bit drastic.

Good going. If this is for a contest, I hope it does well.
love, LinnAnn

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Review of SimpliCity  
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Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Good opening. Just as I was thinking it might get too repetitious, it didn't. You tied all of the 'buildings' in and set up the society.


nothing but deathly conditions on the outside--would the word 'deadly' work better here?

As shall be proven by the introduction of a certain person.--This drew me out of the story, yanked me out. I think you could either let it go, or redo it so it's smoother and not give away the tension. It's too big of a spoiler.

chapt 2, first paragraph--if the doors are opening, then the dinging of the bell is unnecessary to tell the reader it reached the floor.

Information Inputter -you may want to take one t out of Inputter, putter is what you do in golf or putter around the house. Inputer. But there is a better word for that, like computer programmers, not called inputters...sorry can't think of it. Data entry.

slightly cold, --how about just saying 'cool wind'

There is a LOT of telling and no showing until the middle of the 2nd paragraph when the conductor speaks. There is no emotion or anything to get us involved with your character. There is a lot of minute detail that isn't needed. Do we need to know about the purple stripe on the train/subway?

I can't do more, sorry. injured foot and need to get it up.
You have good stuff here, but I think you need to make more of description worked into the dialogue. More show needed.
Keep at it.
love, LinnAnn



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