*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/morganadam
Review Requests: OFF
298 Public Reviews Given
300 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next
1
1
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, Jo! Please accept this review as a gift for entering my contest: "Invalid Item" ! I hope that you will return again next month. *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Excellent use of the refrain "Over there, over there," very effective. A strongly-worded poem!

Favorite line: "With strength to end the night" - lovely phrasing.

Suggestions: The final stanza reads a bit awkwardly for me. I might suggest revisiting it.

Thank you!

All best,
Morgan
2
2
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, G.K. Grierson! Please accept this review as a gift for entering my contest: "Invalid Item" ! I hope that you will return again next month. *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Such a unique storyline, with some great imagery - especially the part about looking under her bed.

Favorite line:
"One day Ash found herself determined to discover the mysteries of this illusive "imagination" that had gifted all the other children but had failed to introduce itself to her." - Love this!

Suggestions: Nothing really, except perhaps to expand it!

Grammar:
she was different, you see unlike = she was different. You see, unlike

castles and bravery; Ash's = castles, and bravery, Ash's

"imagination". = "imagination."

laugh again and depending on the person = laugh again, and, depending on the person

bed and, with the wilful insistence = bed, and, with the willful insistence

No-one knows for you see = No one knows, for you see

For it's discovery = Its discovery

Good work!

All best,
Morgan
3
3
Review of Tunnel  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, tadpole! Just dropping in for to review "Tunnel"  as a judge for "Invalid Item" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: An interesting character with a serious psychological problem. The details are well-chosen, although some are difficult to follow.

Favorite line:
"Although, sometimes, I still wake up at night, sweating after a nightmare where he is standing over my bed with his face, marked by its horrible sneer, approaching mine." - ooh, creepy.

Suggestions:
I might reconsider the paragraph breaks at the beginning. They seem unnecessary.

I have a hard time following when things are taking place. I didn't know if this was the way her life was or had been. It was very difficult to tease it all out.

"Because he was out of work" - unsure to whom this is referring.

Grammar:
Well, I wasn’t really by myself, I did have two roommates, but = Well, I wasn’t really by myself - I did have two roommates - but (only a suggestion)

Good luck!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
4
4
Review of Dicing with Death  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, Nightguard! Just dropping in to review "Dicing with Death"  as a judge of "Invalid Item" .

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: An interesting story about the idea of actually (quite literally) cheating death.

Strengths: I like the description of Death - very creepy and supernatural.

Favorite line:
"I was back in my penthouse suite sitting in a leather-bound armchair, a glass of malt whiskey in my hand." - nice sentence.

Suggestions:
Might reconsider the repetition of "floor" in the first few lines.

"Gambling had been my life's work" - maybe expand/explain?

"It wasn't a dream after all. I thought." - put the thoughts in italics to emphasize?

Grammar:
a flight of steps and I found myself = a flight of steps, and I found myself

high pitched = high-pitched

with Death. = with Death?

nodded an approval = nodded approval

blankly, and if you lose = blankly, "and if you lose

each die each rolled = each die rolled

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
5
5
Review of Rest & Relaxation  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Rachel! Just dropping in for a review of "Rest & Relaxation" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: I like how easy and laidback this is, especially in the word choices (i.e. "paradise," "soothe," "stress we did relieve"). It's just a pleasant read!

Favorite line:
"sand is silky smooth" - nice description.

Suggestions:
Is the last line of the first stanza one syllable too long?

Nice!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
6
6
Review of Dreamland  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Venton! Just working my way through some of the items posted in the FB experiment!

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Impressive use of the double acrostic - NOT easy!

Strengths: Excellent use of language, great manipulation of words to fit the form without seeming forced.

Favorite line:
"Anticipating the day when I finally hear my calL" - love this. It captures a sense of the future, something not done yet.

Suggestions:
Perhaps reconsider "ambrosiA" - it was the one word I stumbled over.

Grammar:
Perhaps "there WAS somewhere to gO"?

Great work - I'm very sorry you didn't win the contest.

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
7
7
Review of The Frozen Land  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Bradley! Working on reviews from the FB experiment, so offering my thoughts of "The Frozen Land" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: An intriguing story that kept me reading, wondering what was going on.

Strengths: Some really excellent description of the setting and the landscape - makes it easy to envision the frozen world. I also like the way pieces of information are given out a little bit along - the olive-green shirt, the gun, the reference to time period. Appealing characters - I like the grim humor. It also definitely left me wanting more!

Favorite line:
"During these past few weeks, they had become more than simply companions. More than simply friends. He did not know if it was the situation – any port in a storm – or more than that." - very nice discussion.

Suggestions:
"Well, he thought, it was no longer night..." - perhaps put thoughts in italics to emphasize them?

I might suggest rethinking some of the paragraph breaks. Quite often, the paragraphs seem too short and abrupt as well as broken mid-thought or action.

"It will be warmer there." - this is repeated twice in the same dialogue.

Grammar:
warmth of the bearskins, and glanced toward = warmth of the bearskins and glanced toward

from the bearskins, and pulled on a pair = from the bearskins and pulled on a pair

He blew on them lightly, and embers came to life, and soon a lick of flame was reaching toward the new sticks. = He blew on them lightly and embers came to life. Soon a lick of flame was reaching toward the new sticks.

shoulder patches, down over his head = shoulder patches down over his head

against the cave walls, and the uneven stone = against the cave walls and the uneven stone

He turned, and headed = He turned and headed

under the bearskin, and wrapped her arms = under the bearskin and wrapped her arms

I’m was never much of a student of literature = I was never much of a student of literature


All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
8
8
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, Kyle! Please accept this review as a gift for entering my contest: "Invalid Item" ! I hope that you will return again next month. *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: A well-told story-poem about the dreams of faraway adventure and the warnings and protection of elders.

Strengths: I love how, even after the warnings, the young mouse still dreams about the far-off land. The repetitions are very well done, emphasizing things and making it almost song-like.

Favorite line:
"who may exercise the scheme" - nice turn of phrase!

"and countless villains all inclined/a wayward mouse to eat." - love it.

Suggestions:
Perhaps reconsider some of the punctuation - mostly adding - just to break things differently.

Skillfully done!

All best,
Morgan
9
9
Review of THE ROAD  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, Christine! Please accept this review as a gift for entering my contest: "Invalid Item" ! I hope that you will return again next month. *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: On the surface, a simple story-poem about two children, but it has much more going on.

Strengths: On the whole, the flow of the poem is quite well done, particularly in the repetitions and the rhyming. It has the feel of something like "Jack and Jill,": which works nicely.

Favorite line: The first stanza is great!

Suggestions:
"The children’s parents said./And the lass had hurt her head." - I stumbled over this. It didn't seem to flow as well. These lines too: "They looked silly,/
Thought Billy and Milly."

Grammar:
If you don’t have a load.” = If you don’t have a load,”

And the parents were given a bill = And the parents were given a bill. (Perhaps "the bill"?)

Thank you!

All best,
Morgan
10
10
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, Moriarty! Please accept this review as a gift for entering my contest: "Invalid Item" ! I hope that you will return again next month. *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: I completely enjoyed this story! There was a wonderful base story, including a message about how to treat others, but there was also depth in the characters and their relationships/interactions.

Strengths: The emotions of the characters was well done - just enough without going overboard. I like Roland - he's an intriguing character, especially in his interaction with the king.

Favorite line:
"The fetters restraining Roland clanked rudely, as he was led into the courtroom. The King observed his swarthy features and proud demeanor. His face bore no signs of guile, and he regretted Damanti's poor judgment. His astute observation did not miss the tender gaze that Roland cast upon the Princess, who appeared ugly and plain as her intractable malaise had robbed her beauty." - wonderful description.

Suggestions:
Occasionally, it is a little difficult to know who is speaking. Perhaps a few more tags (i.e. "the king said," etc.)?

I might like to see/know more about the Princess.

Grammar:
his throat.”What = his throat. "What

I'm afraid, Your Highness = I'm afraid Your Highness

clanked rudely, as he was led = clanked rudely as he was led

“Where is my horse and the rations!” = “Where are my horse and the rations?"

Wonderful!

All best,
Morgan
11
11
Review of Fast is Fast  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hello, Jay! Please accept this review as a gift for entering my contest: "Invalid Item" ! I hope that you will return again next month. *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: A clever, imaginative story! I like the different elements of Joaquin being a fast runner and then Witena and her garden. It's nicely put together so that everything is taken care of by the end of the story, and there's a good message about greed and consequences. I think it would be appealing to a young audience.

Strengths: The little details! I love the word "elfinos" - a nice addition. Joaquin is a very likeable character, and I want to root for him! His parents' love is subtle and heartwarming.

Favorite line:
"They never saw how fast Joaquin could run or how much he did to provide their medicine for them. His parents only knew that Joaquin worked for King Jotto, and they were proud of him." - so sweet.

Suggestions:
"He poured the potion out and then poured the elfinos into a sack" - perhaps "placed the elfinos into a sack"?

"potion of never ending running" - reads a bit awkwardly.

What does the King think when Joaquin stops working for him?

At the begining, it is stated the King doesn't like Joaquin. Why?

Witena is described as not being an elf, but then she says she was a "different elf."

Grammar:
"eighty eight" = "eighty-eight" (perhaps a bit too much repetition of the number)

"who he could work for" = "for whom he could work"

A lovely story!

All best,
Morgan
12
12
Review of The World Goes On  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Kelticmyst! Just dropping in for a review of "The World Goes On" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: A sad story, yet ending on a note of a hope for a grieving woman.

Strengths: A very nice job with the description of Kelly's grief even in such a few words. It especially gets more poignant as the story goes on.

Favorite line:
"Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe he was still hers." - nice choice.

Suggestions: Perhaps emphasize her grief even more? What is she feeling, thinking as John is talking?

Grammar:
"Kelly it’s John" = "Kelly, it’s John"

"Can’t this wait John" = "Can’t this wait, John"

as he replied “No Kelly. = as he replied, “No, Kelly.

"Alright" = "All right"

Keep writing!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
13
13
Review of Lesson of the Day  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Kit! Just dropping in for a review of "Lesson of the Day" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: I love the premise! An excellent way to put a voice into a poem. Whether or not this was a real experience, it feels like one. It must have been very difficult to put this into poetic form. Nice work!

Favorite line: "Figurative language can be a mess" - so true!

Suggestions: General suggestion - be sure to "rate" your pieces. Perhaps "E" or "ASR" for this one?

Well done!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
14
14
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, neena! Just dropping in for a review of "poem for special parents" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: A very powerful, emotional poem with a subject that obviously means a great deal to you. It has an irregular flow, but it seems to work well the wording and the images in each stanza.

Favorite line:
"you feel strong enough to fight/willing to forget last day's plight" - excellent!

Suggestions:
I might suggest regularizing the capitalization a little more - it seems almost too random at the moment. Either take them all out or add them in!

I stumbled a bit at this line: "How far will we go who knows"

Keep writing!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
15
15
Review of The Song  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Kinsey! Just dropping in for a review of "The Song" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Really well done! I love the word and image choices - especially in the second stanza. The repetition of "song" and "sing" as well as the alliteration of "s" is very effective.

Favorite line:
"kiss my lips lightly/and let me taste the song you sing" - I like the mix of senses here.

Suggestions:
Take out the capital letter at the beginning of the fourth stanza to match the others.

Grammar:
Perhaps add in the apostrophe in "thats" in the last line of the second stanza.

Nice work!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
16
16
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Me again! Back to review "Changing the World - Mustang Style" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Love it, Pepper! This is just a bit of great fun - and I completely agree. Mustangs all the way!

Favorite line:
"That gorgeous woman" - go, you!! *Wink*

Grammar:
The last line doesn't need to be capitalized.

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
17
17
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Pepper! Just dropping in for a review of "The Escape of Ni-essa" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: WONDERFUL! You made me want to try writing some sci-fi myself!

Strengths: I LOVE the names and peoples you created (particularly Tharzanian jack-rabbit - that just sound like something out of Star Wars!)! Beyond that, really excellent story. I like how you started it in the middle, adding information a little along as she is searching for the bounty hunter.

Favorite line:
"She had dashed into the locker rooms where weeks before she had stashed an emergency bag, containing money and a robe characteristic of the Sand People. Not only could she slip the tan garment over whatever she was wearing, but the facia would cover her long, ebony hair and face, revealing only her cat-like eyes." - wonderful description.

Suggestions:
"Ni-essa forgot to breathe out." - read awkwardly.

Grammar: Just some commas...
"In the back, sat a family of Cadminians" = "In the back sat a family of Cadminians"

"In the middle of the shuttle, sat a dozen humanoid children" = "In the middle of the shuttle sat a dozen humanoid children"

"She had been returning from her break, when he had grabbed her wrist." = "She had been returning from her break when he had grabbed her wrist."

"I’m Tzunic a galactic bounty hunter" = "I’m Tzunic, a galactic bounty hunter"

"Ni-essa whirled back to her husband," = "Ni-essa whirled back to her husband."

GREAT WORK!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
18
18
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Sticktalker! Just dropping in for a review of "The Pleasurez of Natecher" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Such fun!

Strengths: Wow - there is no way I could do this! I'm not sure that I could ever intentionally misspell so much! *Blush* Really well done. I know it can't be easy to make this work.

Favorite line: I love the first stanza! It's great how you work in a word like "lauditory" in this. I also liked "when hail pelts cars outside," which focuses in an image of the power of nature.

Suggestions: The last line didn't seem to flow as well as the rest. I think it was the "about nature" at the end.

Grammar: Um, I'm not even going to try! *Wink*

Great work!!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
19
19
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello again!

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: Such a fun, unique take on the prompt!

Strengths: I like how it follows the fairy tale formula but twists things, especially with the car and the idea of the leprechaun (great way to use that at the end with him finding money in the forests). Also, I think the king's sadness for his daughter is well done.

Favorite line:
"He had not married himself out of fear that a stepmother would trouble his beloved adopted daughter." - an interesting twist on the idea of the wicked stepmother.

Suggestions:
"I wish you would never have found me" - I was unsure what this meant.

"a great din was heard from inside the palace" - I suggest "a great din came from inside the palace"

"Your highness, you've to also plan your successor" - perhaps "Your highness, you need to pick your successor"?

Grammar:
"she said making a brave effort" = "she said, making a brave effort"

Papa.” She whispered = Papa,” she whispered

"Instead, caressed her dark hairs" = "Instead, he caressed her dark hair"

"Greetings Your Highness" = "Greetings, Your Highness"

Minister continued. “Our kingdom = Minister continued, “Our kingdom

"which were all spend by the royal family" = "which were all spent by the royal family"

Fun!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
20
20
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*waves at Moriarty*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: A well-set and well-written story about a mother/son relationship.

Strengths: The characters are very clear and easy to imagine. Their traits are well-crafted, helping us to understand the differences in their relationship: mother/son, employer/employee. It is easy to be sympathetic to both of them and to feel proud of Arun for maturing. I like how you were able to create a company, story, and characters in such a short amount of space.

Favorite line:
"She turned, delighted to hear that word." - I thought this was excellent, turning her into a mother and away from the businesswoman here at the end.

Suggestions:
"on a page" - perhaps "on the paper" might be a little less awkward?

The first paragraph reads a bit choppily for me - I think because of the series of short sentences.

I had a little trouble following the "R's" conversation.

"Her pointed questioning was beginning to make him feel uncomfortable." - this is a change of POV. I'm not sure it's a big deal, but I thought I should point it out.

"only moved southwards" - awkward phrasing.

Grammar:
"bracing himself" = "bracing herself"

"she disapproved his cavalier" = "she disapproved of his cavalier"

to know?” He questioned = to know?” he questioned

"he replied calculating quickly" = "he replied, calculating quickly"

"through you veins" = "through your veins"

"announced Arun facing his mother" = "announced Arun, facing his mother"

"7 am." = "7 am?"

"You carry on Mrs. Sharma" = "You carry on, Mrs. Sharma"

Really great use of the prompt in creating this story!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
21
21
Review of Somebody Snitched  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, Pepper and Rebfann! Just dropping in for a review of your campfire!

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: I think you two did an excellent job with your campfire! What is really great is how the transitions are so smooth - you obviously each carefully read what the other wrote and then matched your own contributions to it. I also thought Timmy was awfully adorable, in spite of all the trouble he is in! *Smile*

Great work!

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
22
22
Review of Blessings  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Moriarty! Just thought I would drop in for a review of "Blessings" !

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: What a wonderful tribute to the new addition to your family. *Smile*

Strengths: Your love for your baby is so apparent in every word and line - exactly what poetry is supposed to be like.

Favorite line:
"Her every antic we so much adore" - AWWWW!!

Suggestions:
Please remember I'm far from an expert *Smile*, but I believe the Rispetto form should have eight syllables per line and it seems that most of these are over that.

The last line - "All of a sudden life is so very pleasant." - reads a bit awkwardly for me.

Grammar: None that I saw!

So beautiful.

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
23
23
Review of Gemstone Boutique  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*waves at Moriarty* *Smile*

*Star* This review is my own opinion. Please take whatever might be useful and ignore what is not! *Star*

Overall impression: I think think was beautifully done. You obviously did a great deal of research, and it shows in every clue. It's extremely thorough.

Strengths: First, I loved the title. I thought it was both clever and unique. Second, as I mentioned, you went deep into detail on each person, forcing us to do the same. Nice! It was difficult, but I think that's great! (In other words, please don't let the anonymous rater worry you.) I also like the emphasis on members' children.

Favorite line: I did have favorite lines!
"I hope they all have fulltime careers in the corporate world; they certainly have the attributes of making outstanding and successful managers." - It made me laugh, and I agree!

"I love this clue. This member cleaned horse manure. Can there be any better example of dignity of labor?" - Again, I laughed!

"She is my friend, philosopher and guide." - I'm honored.

Suggestions: Perhaps use more than one color in the introduction?

Grammar:

"Phew !" = "Phew!"

"envisaged" = "envisioned"?

"( and for good reason.)" = "(and for good reason)."

Great work! And good luck in the challenge.

All best,
Morgan

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
24
24
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Moriarty! I really like the subject of this poll as well as the detailed options. Each one is just enough different to make the reader (me!) think about what to do in that situation. That's what I especially like - you have to think to answer, and it might actually change your approach to reviewing. I also love the introduction - well thought out and thoughtful just like the poll. The colors and ML (and well-placed frowning face!)definitely make everything stand out!

Only one suggestion: perhaps a little more explanation of "read a bad piece"?

Great work!!!!
Morgan
25
25
Review of Who Wrote Me?  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW - this was a really cool take on the challenge! I never even thought of going this route - so unique - and forces us all to look in the ports! Excellent idea.

Just a couple of grammar things (tiny, miniscule ones!): 11 Across needs to start with a quotation mark. There is an extra space after the first quotation mark in 13 Across and before the second quotation mark in 10 Down. Style suggestion for opening lines: maybe use a different color in "Match the..." to contrast with the title?

Great work!
Morgan
82 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/morganadam