Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Forgive me, I screwed up your rhyme. Please delete my entry. i always think the top post is the last post. perhaps that should be noted in the message of what to do for people like me >.< Actually it says last or second to the last, but I still always think that means the top post. I think it is because in other forums the last post is always the top post. Will you erase my embarrassing rhyme and I will come back and report?
Puga has challenge us in this in and out chat zone to rhyme lines with each other. Much like an interactive poem. I like the idea a lot. i do not get the abcde thingy...you posted an example but not sure what those lines mean. Love them, but do not see what they have to do with the rhyming scheme and when is it okay to change it? I noticed it was changed but at what point is okay?
I would love to see this expanded and will come back to participate.
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Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is the most interesting religious piece I have read in a long time. Written as an essay, it leaves it to me to guess if this is a work of total nonfiction, if it is inspired, or a totally fictional piece written by a Catholic. I choose to believe, because of the knowledge of certain traditions- this indeed hold some truth to who you are- at least spiritually. I might be wrong.
I found this neat to read about a faith I know little about, to learn about a culture I only glimpse, even though I have friends of many faiths. I guess we do not talk about religious ceremonies much. i think there is always fear of judgment. I am so open to hearing and accepting of others beliefs. Who am I to judge? Thank you for sharing this with us. I am not sure why it has not consistently been offered a five star, but I hope it is not due to anything but grammar or spelling and the such.
I loved how you linked definitions to words you felt we would not know. I did not know and would not have known and would have been running around confused with a dictionary in my hand if you would have not provided that nifty hover definition 'thingy'. How do you do that? Very helpful!
BTW..I, personally, think that we do God's work in action not only prayer. *shurgs* I also think there is a need for formal prayer if only to help ourselves. I think God understands more then we give him credit for. I do not think there are written in stone rules. I also know others would disagree
Thank you for the read and Write on!
Warmest Best, Just call me Omni
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Review of
STATIC
The Ringmaster (E) Life is a carnival - complete with thrills, triumphs, and disaster. (Form: ZaniLa) #1584001 by 🌕 HuntersMoon
The Ringmaster
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I have the honor of reading yet another one of my favorite authors. You did not disappoint.
This poem about life is bittersweet. We do indeed seem to be, at times, being led through circumstances by a ringleader or puppeteer. I would say not really on the latter, as we chose the actions we take when confronted with life.
At first I did not see the connection to the image. I guess I was impatient. LOL, It was clear by the end. The image was the prompt you used when putting together this poem. Just a note: I do not go to the circus. This picture made me sad.
The (IMO) difficult form of The ZaniLa Rhyme was pulled off beautifully.
I did not notice any errors of any kind.
I will not share my favorite parts by pasting any words, I want others to see why this piece was awarded for themselves. I did love the end. It pulled it all together, seamless!
Wow! I am not sure what to say to this. I came to wish you a happy WDC birthday and wanted to review some of your work. I like dark poetry as much as the next dark poetry lover, but this is all you had and it sounded too real for me. I am not sure what kind of place you are in (mentally) but I hope you have it in you, to if not write a happy piece of poetry, to at least feel happiness in your heart. Perhaps i am jaded by my own personal situation...but this sounds scary to me. If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can email me.
The poem itself was good, although a little morbid and sad. I did not notice any rhyme scheme and that is fine. Just noting that. The way I read it, the flow was good. The way you linked 'the story' all together was nicely done. It might help to seperate this long verse into smaller ones. That is your choice of course
Again Happy WDC anniversay, I hope it is a good one!
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This is an in and out held for a friend who does not have room for it in their port. I am a little confused because the folder title said I would find poetry written for friends that were not part of WDC anymore. You might want to change that...or not.
The interactive looks like it is a lot of fun. I see some invalid links. Perhaps taking them out would make the page more attractive.
I love the idea of this in and out and see you had a lot of participation. It looks like it has been inactive for a while, perhaps you would like to revive it? It would be really cute if you added an image.
If you do work on this, I would love to come back and visit
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While I enjoyed the imagery in this poem, I think this is more of prose because of the layout, the lack of any rhyming scheme and lack of real flow. Please do not take it as I did not enjoy reading it. I did. I do wonder though, if you were to work on the way it is laid out, if it would not read just a little bit better. Again the imagery was awesome and the words very true You brought back memories of the season that just past!
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LMBO! How this ever got less the perfect rating, I do not know. The flow was spot on, the rhyme was perfect. This was a very long poem to keep this consistent in those areas. The humor was so appreciated. I thought at first thieves were going to steal all the kiddies' toys, but no, it was much more innocent and fun than that!
The only reason why i can think that this would rate a less then perfect is if it was rated and then you edited or perhaps someone did not like the subject matter...which in that case, do not read I love Christmas, but I can take this in fun! Again, Great job!!!!
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Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Another beautiful Poem! A must read to anyone who wants to appreciate a wonderful piece of art. This piece shows that a poem does not need to rhyme to be effective. I loved how you started each verse with the same refrain. The flow was great! When I read it out loud, there was nothing that caused me to pause.
My heart races as my hands caress your face,
Your hot skin excites my fingertips. Hot! and sensual and loving....
Reading this, I see that this was written about you becoming man and wife. Was this poem part of your wedding voews? If not, maybe for your anniversary you could get married again and recite these.
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I am happy to be reviewing some of you work- brought to you by the marvelous Mod Blitz!
I noted this sitting alone, not in a folder and highlighted in you port, so I 'ran' over to take a look. At first i thought this might have been something written by your child, then noticed it appears to have been written by you at age 6! This is absolutely marvelous! I am not sure who made the decision to keep this little work of art; a story about a stickman and farmer, but I am glad it was saved and shared. This shows both your budding talent and your yearning to be a writer (at such a young age).
The story...what can I say? If you were 40 and wrote this, I might go 'hmmm' LOL But this was a well told story by a talented and creative 6 year old. I loved the story. It is a really cute story i hope you share with your own children 9when and if you have them).
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Sometimes you may not remember a person by name but by circumstance or in this case, I remember you as an author who touched my heart. I read a piece of your work when I first became a member. I remember the story about your wife's passing and how you found love again. My review prompted you to thank me (you are too kind) and share more about your life. Now I am here in your port again and at first did not realize who I was about to read until I saw the highlighted poem (written by your friend, Pam) and knew I knew you from 'before'. I am pleased to be able to review you again for the Mod blitz
I looked at your highlighted item and realized it is not written by you, but obviously very important to you. I am pleased to offer Pam this review as i am sure you will share it with her
It is a child's poem about a mudman
I loved this poem. I could so see the mudman in print with cute little pictures! As a preschool teacher, I think my kids would absolutely love this story. It was catchy (with it's rhyme). The words played well off each other. His little hike under the beehive scared me (I am allergic), I am so glad he did not smell good to them and they went away (I must smell like a rose). I love the transition at the end, where he changes into something different. Now this is the only part that confuses me and I wish it would not. he turns into salamander...right? Was he a polliwog first then or... if he was, how could he walk? The do not have legs yet...oh..maybe they do? I would like to know though. I can honestly see this in book form. I just needed clarification on that because that part at the end, while neat, left me wondering how he was walking around. Or was he always a salamander and just became proud? Forgive me for all the questions. I just loved the story so much and the story kept my attention and flowed until that last line which (forgive me my blondness) confused me a little.
I wonder if Pam has anything in publication. *waves to Pam is she is reading this herself* I definitely think this would go over well with the 2-7 crowd I can see it both being read during 'circletime' by the teacher and read quietly in the 'book nook' by older children!
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Who knew waking up could sound so beautiful or be so beautiful. I enjoyed your writing about your quiet time morning rituals, which I am sure bring you peace. You speaking about the peace brought to you during your first 'cuppa Joe' brought peace to me just by reading. It makes me want to go outside and enjoy the breaking dawn more often. It is quite the magical time.
I saw no errors in your peace. It was enjoyable to read. For such few words, you spoke volumes. You dissected your morning, moment by monet so we could fully understand what you experience. You words made it easy to see the world through your eyes and I appreciate it
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Hi ! My name is omniblueeyes and I am pleased to have the honor of reading some of your work.
Overall Impression:
Th author writes about her pain of her mother's death. It was written on the tenth anniversary of this tragic event.
Creativity/Impact:
If I read right, you were thirteen when you penned this??? This is very, very well written if that is/was your age. If you are this talented when you are so young, you will continue to grow and improve in your writing and I believe you will be able to move the masses with your words.
I could feel your pain in this song/poem. I feel for you. The words you wrote made my heart ache. i know that your mother is watching over you and she must be very proud!
What I personally liked the Most:
I hate to say I 'liked' anything in this sad ode to your Mommy, as I do not like what prompted this...but your strength shows through in your words; your strength as a writer and as a person.
Suggestions:
I do not have any except to keep on writing down your feelings, keep growing and learning, and keep sharing your work.
Summary:
I appreciate you letting us into your life. (((mental hugz)))
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem about a terrible accident(is drunk driving ever an accident?). The writers writes about the price one or more people might pay if you take a drink or two and drive.
Creativity/Impact:
This was a very powerful poem about the dangers of drunk driving. You take us from the party, to the street of trick or treaters, then to the morning after.
What I personally liked the Most:
The poem was done as if it was a personal, real experience. The reader is able to see/feel the horror of this fateful night by reading the driver's 'thoughts' and words. I hope that anyone who reads this takes something away when them about how stupid it is to drink and drive. I hope this saves one life.
Some of the most powerful lines were:
It wasn't meant to be this way, as I look back at that night.
It was party-time and drinks flowed free, it was sheer delight. great start to this poem. The words grabbed my attention and held me fast in their grips.
I felt the bump and heard the thud, then my blood ran cold.
The car swerved around the devil himself (he wasn't very old). *gave me shivers*
I JUST noticed the rhyming scheme. I did not notice it at first and that to me means that you did an excellent job! The rhyme scheme was AA,BB,- very difficult to stick to through a long poem like this one. great job!
Suggestions:
The verse:
My head ached and I felt really sick, I needed to get home,
knowing it was Halloween night and kids were sure to roam.
I slowed down to thirty-five, which seemed to be a safer speed
and lit myself a cigarette just because I felt the smoking need. I think the first sentence should end with a period. I do not think your knowing it is Halloween night has anything to do with you being sick. i do, however, think the third line goes with the second and not the last. I would Take the 'and' out of the last line and put a period on the end of sentence three. It may be just me, and do as you feel is right, but I think those lines go together (2 and 3) and the others stand alone.
I rolled the car window down to breathe in the fresh night air,
seeing children up ahead who were walking without a care you switch from a past tense with this to a present tense...with the word used previously and then the word 'seeing'
I sped away into the night in hopes that I wouldn't be caught,
no one would know and I would get away, likely as naught. I find the second line a little awkward. I think you could reword it to make a stronger statement. (again just my opinion).
Summary:
I am very glad I had the chance to read this. I think it is very suited for the season and hope people take heed to your wise words of warning.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
An awesome article on how to create a static item. My daughter joined (she lives in another state) and did not know how to navigate this site or create a static item. It was very hard to explain to her on the phone. I would rather 'show' then tell, but you did an awesome job at explaining the 'how to's'. I have bookmarked this so she can read it.
Suggestions:
I hope this is put somewhere where newbies can find it easily. I am not sure why some people have a problem navigating the simple starting points of this site, maybe it is because this is their first forum like site they have belonged to...but this would definitely help them.
What I personally liked the Most:
okay, this is just funny! First, let us explore what a static item is not. A static item is not the sock stuck to your pajamas because you forgot to throw in a dryer sheet; and a static item is not the subject matter of your mother-in-law’s latest ploy to cause trouble in your marriage!
I love the use of the acronym "S.L.I.C.K." Simple Steps to Create a Static Item
You did make it seem very simple, although you went to great lengths to address any issues a beginner may have creating their first posting.
Summary:
I loved this! I hope it gets awarded soon. If it is not soon, I will do it myself-later after I have the points to do so! This piece of helpful info you created deserves recognition
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
Review 3/5
The form used:A 5 day-5week Poetry Entry based on the prompt: "cyberbullies"
Form: Terzanelle is a great way to drive a theme home. The refrains allow you to repeat those really powerful lines. There is no meter or syllable count dedicated to this form, but each line should be of similar length or metrical count. The rhyme pattern for this form is: A1B1A2, B2C1B1, C2D1C1, D2E1D1, E2F1E1, F2A1F1A2 OMG! I can't even imagine myself trying to make a poem using this form. I have such difficulty with anything other then free verse or simplistic rhyming schemes. I did write one formal poem (thanks Paper Dolls) but I think I need to practice more to ever be able to achieve a coherent piece, especially with this kind of difficult form.
What I personally liked the Most:
This piece really spoke to me. It scares me. I know that my daughter has been abused online and through text messages. I hate that it is now so simple to abuse another through a few rapid motions on a keyboard. It also leaves the 'author' the ability to abuse anonymously, striking without real repercussions or guilt.
I think this has become a serious problem, cyber-bullies...
I appreciated your writing such a moving piece speaking of this malignancy. Words can be a vile poison. You can not always cure the disease...
In desperation, to end the torment,
a choice that denies the tears that will fall
inundating the hearts of the innocent. I am not entirely sure that I am not reading more into this then was intended...it just tugged at my heart reading these words. I can not help but think of Kat (my daughter) when reading these words. It almost tore me apart...
I can not express myself fully and it is frustrating to me. I both love and hate this poem. It is so very personal to me. *sighs* Very well written and despite myself, it is one of my favorite works of yours thus far. You brought the horror into the light to be recognized by those who may not even know the monster exists.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
review 2/5
Form: The Kyrielle form is very flexible, in that there are only three basic rules: (1) written in rhyming quatrains (4-line stanzas), (2) the last line of each stanza is repeated throughout the entire poem, and (3) each line has only 8 syllables.
This author writes about a child who abused for years, finally takes her revenge...I think.
ken, I am a little confused about this. Did she cut herself or another? I read it as she took the knife to the abuser. Maybe it is just wishful thinking. I do not think this affects the quality of the work as it could be left to the reader to interpret it the way they wish, i only want to know what YOU were thinking.
Suggestions:
My suggestion would only be to make sure the reader knows who is being slashed, if you wish to not leave it open to interpretation.
What I personally liked the Most:
The story was sad, haunting and hurt my heart.
Some of my favorites bits were:
deliverance to her hand springs,
the knife gleams like an angel's wings.
Tears cannot wash her sanguine cheeks the rhyme scheme throughout this is spot on and so flowing, this is just one example of the beautiful way you meshed this poem together.
In solitude, the quiet shrieks
in sounds that only she can hear,
pale echoes of a vanquished fear. I really like the repeated refrain. I know it was part of the form, but it really anchored the verses. I love the words, 'the quiet shrieks'.
Summary:
Very creative way to talk about the subject of child abuse. You put into words what I think every victim feels...
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
This is review 1/5. An ode to Autumn.
You used: (Form: Triquain Chain).
Form: The Triquain, created by Shelley A. Cephas (our own ShelleyA)is a poem with several creative variences
and can be a rhyming or non-rhyming verse. The simpliest form is a poem made up of 7 lines with 3, 6, 9, 12, 9, 6, and 3 syllables in this order. Triquain Chain: a string of 2 to 4 Triquains with a space between each triquain. Triquains are always centered.
It is totally cool that a member of WDC created this form. LOL...even the simplest form seems very difficult. I really need to challenge myself with these formal forms. I admire you for writing this poem in a rather difficult form.
Suggestions:
nada...
What I personally liked the Most:
The flow was effortless. A rhyming scheme was not noticeable, I do not think you used one . It did not need one either.
Some of my favorite lines were:
A time of contemplation against a backdrop
of change as nature presses ruby
lips to the leaves in a
fond farewell. The words you use to describe a scene are so appreciated. I love picturing mother nature kissing the leaves and them turning color.
Riotous colors sway and tumble
until it is time to rest and dream
in shades of red and gold
completion. Again, beautiful imagery. I wish the leaves turned color here. Some trees do, but not all. I miss seeing an array of beautiful colors adorning the treetops.
Summary:
Not to be redundant, but I think you writing is excellent and you have such talent. i am sure you get sick of hearing it, but it must be said
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
For an old male warrior, you heart is as soft as putty. I admire a man who can have strong exterior, yet has a soft core and heart
Creativity/Impact:
I have heard about this exercise. I am glad you reminded me of it. Your story was wonderfully written. It was so touching.
What I personally liked the Most:
I liked how you address that everyone needs to be reminded how special they are. I see you as such a wise and gentle man with a heart of gold. I was a teacher of a school-aged group of at risk youth. I did many exercises to try and bring them together, rather then having them hate each other for their gang affiliations or racial differences. I never thought about using this assignment. I wish I had.
I no longer work there, but this post of yours will stick in my mind for the next time I teach. Actually I think we will try this exercise at home. I have done this before with my two young daughters, but think I will have everyone do it again (maybe at Christmas when most of us are together).
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I went through your poetry folder and read all your short haiku.
Creativity/Impact:
I noticed you like this form of poetry and enjoyed reading all of them. I am wondering if since you have seemed to master the form, perhaps you would like to expand on them. Perhaps you could lengthen them with more verses? I think it would add to the quality and beauty of your already wonderful work.
What I personally liked the Most:
I think I like 'Discovery" the most, although I enjoyed all of them. 'Discovery' touched my heart.
Suggestions:
I made my suggestions above. I would love to see these expanded. I would love to read them again if you ever do make changes
Summary:
I hope you enjoyed your lil mod blitz visit from me. I enjoyed reading your works.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A short story about the 'morning after'.
Suggestions:
In reading this, I noticed you used the word 'hiding' a couple of times or more in the beginning paragraph. I would suggest finding another word in it's place so as not to repeat or become redundant. A thesaurus is my best friend, at times, when trying to write short stories or poems.
I fooled myself thinking that my room could protect me forever, I am not the greatest at punctuation but feel this is either missing a word or needs different punctuation. I would add the word 'in' or a comma after the word thinking. Again, I am not great at this sort of thing and you should use your best judgment or double check. It is something that stuck out to me.
I moaned and shifted my weight to the side of my body searching for a more comfortable position. What side of your body? I do not think you need to put the words 'to the side of my body' in there at all. The feeling I get (and remember from my own hangovers) is that you were tossing and turning, period. If you leave that part, I think you should add that you turned onto you left or right side. Again, just my personal thoughts.
And this time the damage was well done I am not sure about the rule regarding this, but I do not believe it is proper to start a sentence with the word 'and'. I would use a comma to connect the previous sentence or leave the word 'and' out completely. (geeze, I need to go back to eight grade and learn what those words are called...I believe they are called conjunctions?)
3 brainless blonds I would replace the number with the written word
And somehow it seemed that I, a true imposter in their benighted world was the only one that saw through his facade. It appears you are missing a comma in this sentence. Also impostor seems to come up as misspelled but I have seen spelled that way as well. When I looked it up, it showed both examples.
but this time the sound was projected from the deepest end of my indisposed body Forgive me... I do not get the deepest end of you body is. did you fart? i am trying to not laugh at my own sick mind, but seriously... what is the deepest 'end'?
What I personally liked the Most:
Now, with all that said above (you may return the favor by dissecting any of my short stories- as I am sure you will be busy correcting my attempts at writing ) This was a great story. I was entertained and felt you used so many descriptive adjectives throughout the piece. I could feel what you were feeling. I really enjoyed you going step by step, explaining what a hangover feels like. i believe that even if one has not experienced a 'morning after', they could learn why not to overindulge by reading this piece.
I found it quite humorous at times as well. At times, it seemed to warn us of the dangers of alcohol.
Alcohol was a deceiving friend. He was faithful and reliable in the good times, but after the damage was done he would always bail out and leave you to face the brutal consequences all alone. So true! well written!
and while my old buddy “Alcohol” was pushing and persuading me to keep the party alive, I only managed to drink myself to a pitiful and shameful state. You explain this so well. It is really an evil little thing, that alcohol. It really makes us feel invincible, but it is a farce and you always pay a price for that 'friendship'.
Summary:
I really enjoyed this story of a 'hangover'. I thought the story ended well. The story had a definitely feeling of completion. It seemed to tell a complete story. i appreciated it very much.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I do not, usually, review folders, but yours is so well put together.
What I personally liked the Most:
From the image, to the easy to follow links, this is a well thought out and put together folder. I really like how each link has a description, making the poetry subject highlighted. This makes it easy to pick a piece, knowing before hand what the poem is about.
I loved the intro poem headlining this folder:
Writing by candlelight,
hidden in shadows,
my inkwell runs dry
as my quill
relents to my muse.
-Stephanie Grace (08/17/09) beautiful! it really makes me want to run crazy through your poems if this is just a taste of your talent
Summary:
This inspires me to make my own folders better. I really think this looks professional. It is easy to navigate and attractive to boot
This poem made me feel very sad. It spoke of such loneliness. I like the use of a repeated 'refrain' throughout the poem.
I would go back and capitalize all your I's. I have a bad habit with this as well, but it almost looks as if you just didn't take the time to do it, rather then accidentally forgetting to push the shift button. It takes away from the poem IMO. Also there are some extra spaces between words and letters.
If you edit this a bit and would like me to read and rate it again, please mail me. I would be more then happy to!
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This is more like it The story is nice. I like reading your own words put into a short story form. I enjoyed your excursion through the park. You were very descriptive with your words.
I am not sure about all your punctuation. I would go over it again if I were you. I am terrible at it myself, so I will not even attempt to correct it for you. ha! I would have liked the story to be a wee bit longer, only because I found the park, and what you described, to be so interesting! Good job, write on!
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Forgive me, but is this a piece of fiction or did you pretty much copy your conversation from an email or messenger program?
It is cute, the conversation, but I am not sure what you are wanting us, as the reader, to get out of it. I am also confused by the present and past tense used in the conversation between the two.
I am going to have to go peek at your other posts. LOL. I hope to find something you wrote all by yourself
Again, cute conversation though....
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Oh! This almost brought tears to my eyes. Such a tribute to the old chair that your dad held dear...actually the real tribute to your father.
The rhyme scheme was perfect. The words you used in describing this worn chair were excellent. I could fill the love pour through each and every word.
All the lines are in caps except for the line that starts with the word 'coffee'. I am not sure that was intentional.
I really was moved by this piece. i am so glad you have that chair. I am sure that it gives you great comfort to sit in it.
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) This was a great story. I was entertained and felt you used so many descriptive adjectives throughout the piece. I could feel what you were feeling. I really enjoyed you going step by step, explaining what a hangover feels like. i believe that even if one has not experienced a 'morning after', they could learn why not to overindulge by reading this piece.