I enjoyed both versions of this little conversation. It was fun to read the first, then to scroll down to find out how differently the second one would be portrayed.
Unfortunately, I didn't quite get the gist of the plot, however. Too many questions! Who are these people, for one thing, and are they even people at all? Was Phoebe actually drunk? Was she dead? Was Frank?
All-in-all, despite my confusion, I still enjoyed this piece.
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
Pony Tale
PS I like your handle; "Endless Enigma"!
What a unique poem! I never read one that had so many words that ended in 'z' before! Very clever, very refreshing, this poem stands out from the crowd.
I have only one question. How do you pronounce the title and what does it mean?
I can imagine this poem lining up with Dr Suez in popularity with kids of all ages. Look out Cat in the Hat, here comes Cat Walkawoes!!
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
I can imagine this verse as the lyrics for a Bob Dylon song. I can even hear his twang; it would fit well into his style.
I have only one suggestion. There are too many syllables in the final line. Perhaps it could be shortened to read something like "When your love and honor became my goal."
Your anger and disappointment come through loud and clear in the content of this letter. Your hate is real and potent.
I found only one mistake. In the following sentence, the word 'realized' should read 'realize' since you are writing in the present tense: Yes, I'm bitter even though I realized millions of women will be saved the agony she went through.
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
What a cute little poem! I thought it was highly entertaining and tons of fun to read!
I also found it a tiny bit cryptic. I'm not sure what the first line means, for one thing. "Saves time on being complete" I believe means writing the words et cetera saves the writer time since she, or he, needn't be complete. I'm not sure what 'my favorite systemic assembly' means, though. Unless assembly means putting the word et cetera together in a systematic way.
Any way, all-in-all, I think this poem is light and clever. It brought a smile to my face.
The theme to this poem follows along without changing. The metaphors all say the same thing; fine wine, a movie actress, both which get better with age, as you pointed out, and skills that develop and become sharpened with the passing of time due to practice and experience. I like the way it landed on music.
I found the poem a delight to read. Oh, and I like the title, too!
This is very clever. It reminds me of the elephant depiction; the one where four or five people are blind-folded and feel around an elephant. Each believes the part they're feeling is the whole animal. Are you familiar with it?
This little verse is jam-packed with imagery! I can see the smoldering flames of autumn; I can experience their flaring and dying. Brown, waiting, clinging, to a memory of summer's shade . . . longing for the late season, naked, along with the impressions of August lawns . . . I especially like the final line; "I watch winter come."
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
I found the structure of this piece very interesting. Is it an example of a certain type of poetry form?
Your descriptions are well-chosen, for several words, alone, depict desolation: tears, a breaking heart, outer edges, pain, disappointment, alone, silent, dark.
Is there a reason why you didn't allow for any kind of rating?
Your point is well-stated in this highly entertaining poem. It is so true how people will think nothing of spending a fortune on their sporting attire just so they can show the world where their true loyalty lies. Especially when their team is doing well!
This all sounds so encouraging, I wish I were writing a novel. I'm sure I would have been able to complete it in no time after reading this piece. Lol ! I found it well-written and fun to read! I especially like the idea of 're-imagining'
This is quite a collection! If I, or anyone I may know, ever need a list of good literature to sink one's imagination into, I'll refer them to this list.
Just curious, what requirements do you look for in a novel or story or poem or essay that prompts you to add it to this list?
Pony Tale
PS I like the artwork you used for your heading.
I chose to read Father Satan and Baby Judas because I found the title compelling and curious. The story, itself, is rather curious. I found it difficult to follow at times, but the characters are colorful and lively and somehow appealing.
I found only one thing to comment on, in the following, the word 'Poring' should be replaced with the word 'Pouring': Poring over the voluminous, hardback tome before him
All-in-all, this story is entertaining and was a lot of fun to read. I especially like the ending.
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
How interesting that your poem starts with deep affection on earth and ends with a longing for what God promises in heaven.
My favorite line:
, , , sewn-together lovers
One comment. In the following lines, the word 'transformed' was repeated:
Transformed by the aura of each other's presence –
We are suddenly transformed by glistening,
SUGGESTION:
Altered by the aura of each other . . . etc
OR
We are suddenly altered by glistening . . . etc
I'm glad you included the following line in your synopsis of this poem because I wouldn't have caught the fact that this poem was referring to senior citizens: Seniors who fall prey must calm the need to do so much good. I'm not sure what the seniors are falling prey to, nor what calming the need to do so much good means, but I did enjoy the rhyme, nevertheless.
I found it fun to translate your explanation from French to English even before I read the final line of this essay.
I especially enjoyed the following:
my favorite mind massager
I didn't find anything to fault as far as grammar goes. I found myself nodding many times throughout the narrative. I could add a lot more to your facts, as I'm sure you could, too.
All-in-all, I found this piece easy to read; enjoyable, educational, and intelligent, as well as controversial.
I read this poem over a few times and still find it a bit cryptic, which is not a bad quality for a poem to have. I enjoyed the imagery your descriptions created in my mind. EXAMPLES:
stand like ribs
in the heart of a crowded soccer field
around the empty hull of a footprint, while footprints
pace the streets with nowhere to go.
singing amidst the rubble of concrete and sorrow,
I have one comment regarding consistency. In the first verse the walls are described as fallen and scattered, throughout the poem they're referred to as 'ruins', and yet in the third verse, and again in the final line, the walls are described as standing tall and something to be torn down.
All-in-all, this poem is both a puzzle and a gem.
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
Pony Tale
I'm wondering if the word 'but' is the right one in the following lines:
and nothing but life
has truly been lost that cannot be found.
As for the grammatical part of this piece, in the following sentence, the word 'an' should be replaced with the word 'a': On the dock next to her was a blue thermos and an bright red apple
Also, in the following sentence, the word 'drink' should be changed to 'drank': He took the cup from her hand and drink the rest of the coffee.
The comma in the following sentence should be replaced with a period: Five seconds later he fell into the water, as he struck the water he was transformed into a merman.
In the following sentence, the word 'transform' should be changed to 'transformed': She slipped into the water, transform into a merwoman, and pulled him to the bottom of the lake.
Also, shouldn't 'merwoman' be mermaid?
All-in-all, this story was fun to read from the very beginning all the way to the very surprising ending!
The emotions and sentiments from both the daughter and the mother's point-of-view are well described in this story, and are easy for the reader to relate to.
I was happy in the end for Sandra when she found the perfect dress.
Please keep writing so I, and others like myself, can continue to enjoy your work!
This article is so uplifting that there were tears in my eyes by the time I had reached the final sentence. Bravo to kjo for her, or his, compassionate helping hand, and bravo to you for not giving up!
I couldn't find fault with this piece. I just want to say please keep writing so I, and others like myself can continue to enjoy your work!
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