Many of us experience moments like this, when we do life does seem unbearable but if we don't experience the bad things life has to offer, how can we recognise the good?
I liked the way you showed feelings in this poem. Keep on writing and expressing them.
Poppy
It's amazing how many people think that they will find or hold on to happiness if they ply themselves or others with gifts. It often takes something like hospitalisation to remind us, that life isn't about that. It has a much deeper meaning and if we search for it, we will find it.
Your short story shows someone on the verge of renewal and looking forward to something more meaningful.
I do not know if this represents a spiritual aspect of your writing. Reading it evoked a strong sense of spirituality within me. I could visualise the scene vividly. Even see a place where the ritual was being performed. A piece of writing that effects me in that way, has to be good.
Well done and keep on writing.
Poppy
An informative and thought provoking essay. Where there is poverty there is often greed and corruption at the forefront of its cause. Until we learn how to deal with this effectively, I feel that poverty will worsen worldwide. Power and greed are strong bedfellows.
A moving poem. It shows the depth of feeling you had for the woman who left you. The right person for you, will have that same depth of feeling for you.
Poppy
Wherever there is an action, there is a reaction. It may come immediately or at some time in the future. If the action is for the good, then all is well. If however, it harms someone then at some point the harm will reverberate back to the one who caused it, in one way or another.
In other words, I agree with you. More people should be careful of their actions and the way they behave towards others.
Poppy
It is unfortunate that too many people succumb to the grip of holding power over others.
This poem reminds us that we must always be strong and empower ourselves, never allowing others to take that from us. After all, leaders can only be leaders if we follow. Refuse to follow them and they are no longer leaders.
Poppy
It would be interesting to see this piece being written as a longer short story and giving us a more in depth look of this other world. It is interesting and well written. The description is good, giving you a feel of what's happening. I would love to see what occurs next.
Poppy
It often happens that the person giving support to someone really needs to be supported themselves. They are just good at hiding their true emotions. When they do take their own lives, we feel angry and cheated because they've left us. When that anger subsides, we can begin to feel guilty that we reacted in this way. All these feelings are part of the grieving process and you bring the anger out well in your writing.
Poppy
Hello Jaytalon
I find it difficult to decide whether the writing you have showcased is an experimental piece to see what response you will get, or a genuine plea for help.
If it is an experimental piece, then obviously you have succeeded in getting reviews for it.
If however you are in genuine distress, I would not give advice. The reason being that to do so might not be the right advice for you. If someone gives it and you follow what they have to say and it doesn't work, then you may feel that they were to blame for thing's not turning out the way you want them to. It takes professional people who are trained to help in situations like you describe to help a person deal with it.
You say that life doesn't want you and is preventing you from writing down your story, yet you have acomplished this short piece of writing. By taking small steps in your writing you can eventually make it to the top of a ladder.
Keep on taking those small steps and good luck.
Poppy
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