Wonderful poem you have written on the depth in life and in people. I often think highly deeply like this and ponder many things I imagine most don't. You can imagine that this was pleasurable to read. Short, but still very meaningful. Thank you so much for sharing!
Fav Part:
"We are all like burning candles,
We are alike-
We shine brightly,
Leaving impressions and marks of little worth -
Indelible upon the earth.
Only to slowly extinguish into darkness;
To expire of our own accord."
I think this poem is very sad, that you feel the words "I love you" are abused. However, they are by some but not by all. I know someday you will have those words said to you. We all do!! I thought this could have been longer to make it more effective. Other than that, I thought it was sad and I hope that you will meet many people here that will change your mind. This is a wonderful site! Welcome!
Keep it up!
Very empowering write about someone you loved so much, and then was left to live without them in hurt and betrayel. I believe we all can relateto this one as it is a commonly wrong human experience in love or lust. IMy heart bled for you as I read this, and the words were stinging, which is wonderful. The flow was perfect also. I really hope you are able to mend from this! Thank you so much for sharing.
Fav Part:
"What have you got to say to me?
That I meant nothing at all
That we were destined to fall
That your heart was too cold
And you decided to screw it all "
I felt every word, but this part was non-gendered, so I liked it the most.
Keep it up!
I see the anger in this write quite clearly. The explanation is quite long, yet I din't see that it really connected to make a clear message to the reader. I also noticed many spelling errors, but I am no grammar buff. I am just saying speelcheck might help you out if you don't know how to speel a word from time to time. The contents were wishy-washy as though at first you are mad at this person for a relationship they had, and then all of a sudden, you are mad because they aren't doing as well in their lives as you? Isn't that somewhat selfish? Aren't friends supposed to be there unconditionally for the people they love? The very people they call firends? I thibk most you survey would say yes. I think if you edited this to create a more clarified reason of why you are "turning your back on this friend" you could have a more understandable piece. Nice strength in the words themselves though.
Fav Part:
"you can only forgive for so long
soon you start watching them kill themselves with the
pain and suffering
then the lying the
ill try and do better im just stupid
i will smartin up i will do better
soon they take two steps forward
they are doing good
but alas the final moment
disapointment".
No matter where my friends have been in their lives, I never felt dissapointed. Unless you were directly lied to time and time again for a really wrong reason, and that I cannot determine here. Thanks for sharing and welcome to WDC!! Keep it up!
Highly emotional poem that kept my eyes glud. I was fascinated by the flow, the strength in love behind the words, and the overall meaning. I too like music, so I love the title. I believe this is a simple yet profoundly effective love write. I enjoyed this very much!
Fav Part:
"If the earth
Were to swallow me whole
I’d hope to become a stone
So as to be embedded
In the very road you step on"
This Bio was highly creative, mysterious, and you seem to really have a level of gratiude for all on the site and with your friends and loved ones! I really enjoyed this, I laughed, I shook my head, I nodded, I smiled.
I love the ppic of the cow in the stable and you say "I look annoyed here" lol. Well, I reviewed one of your other works, and I thought it was fantastic! You are a mod I have never met before, so I thought I'd introduce myself, cause your writing is wonderful! Keep it up Hooves!
Fav Part::
"I sure do miss him and my beloved friends who don't want to be named but they know who they are. But, I was lucky enough to meet him and his two young'ns in real life a while back and we have kept a nice friendship over the years so it's all good there."
Saddening write about something that made you not care about your "dearly beloved". The flow was good, the words gentle, and the tone was strong. I findthese types of poems to bethe most difficult to interpret, however, the mystery is worth reading!
Fav Part:
"Hello there, dearly beloved
So sad that it has come down to this
So sad that you can’t look me in the eyes
Hello there, dearly beloved
Goodbye Goodbye"
Very great depiction of yearning for that connection to never be los h lterally and figurativaly! I relyenjoyed this.I am a sap for love and have had these feelings as well. Very gentle, tender. A treat to read! Thank you for sharing this.
Fav Part:
"And why does the late night hours
always feel like the end?
I'm not sure what I'd want you to say...
but I wish you'd call back again."
I enjoyed this political write even though I am sure many of us have had our fill of politics for right now with the election coming up. I found myself wanting to know what is in store for Kal and his men next. Thank you for sharing this with me an all of WDC.
Fav Part: "Just who do you think authorized this little excursion?” Kal retorted. “You think the Guild actually gives two pints of piss about a worthless little peddler such as yourself? You and I are finally at a reckoning. I came here for Jake.”"
Freaky write about a man whio abused you intimately and then brainwashed your freinds and family. To me, it's not all that uncommon. Do you watch tyhe news? I thought this was disqusting and John should have his day behind bars. I really enjoyed the suspense, but my heart cried for the innocent girl.
Fav Part:
" I looked back at John’s apartment and saw a giant yellow lion imprinted on the door. It looked similar to the lions I noticed on the other doors except that this lion was ten times as large and had fierce red eyes. "
Beautiful poem about keeping pictures of your love lost or never made. I enjoyed the words, I felt them as if I were the author trying to figure out why certain love will never die. It's called a soulmate, I think. Very treasured yet saddening piece.
Fav Part:
"
These pictures of you, that I keep like treasures, are really keeping me
They entice me to look, to dream
Of a life that is not real
Of a love that is not there."
I keep pictures that mean alot to me. It's those pictures that are hidden, so one day I can look at them and say...this is a love I really loved and still do.
Very mystical piece about love lost. The suspense combined with twisting the story from magical to horror was intriquing. I think this is a fantastic fantasy, and yet some truth behind it. An alter-fantasy. I just really didnt know how to interpret , however, it kept me reading..so job well done!
Fav Part:
"And who is she longing for?
Who has her flickering heart been so reaching for?
In her crying thoughts I see him . . .
Staring her way with love in his diamond eye's.
His arms are also reaching . . . "
short impactful write about a girl who never knew how people saw her until it was too late. The gentleness in the wrods captured me, the complimentary descripionss of her were wonderful. Then the ending which completely shaded the mood from bright to bleak. That's talent!
Fav Part:
"It was her red pouting lips that would complete a face that is so much beauty.
The face that would have caught every man's eye,
If only....
If only she wouldn't have jumped."
Good story about true love and how it waits, especally if it is true. I loved the whole happiness they found together afterso many years apart. This was a good story. I was saddened at the end by the son dying. I think he died. I thought that was awful. Overall, it kept me reading and interested. Needs some edits but it has a great storyline.
Fav Part:
"He was a person with high ambitions & for him his safe future & rich life was better than his present love-life. He called Reshu to inform about this opportunity. But for her it was as if someone took away her life."
Great romantic piece. I really enjoyed the magic in your words. I loved the actual wording that you used. I did see that you should make your Capital letter's with "I's" instead of i's...I do the same thing, only I capitalize things that do not need it. lol. Oh well, we all have a quirk or two. We are human right?
Fav Part:
"a burst of light brings a new born butterfly
soaring up from a stone that is no more.
you laugh . . .
a sound that melts like silver fire drawing me closer to you. "
Outstanding description in the words. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
I find this to be a strange write about deception?? Although you are saying that you tapped the walls and that is trusting? I am trying to be very detached in reviewing this, however, it seems you are too curious about someone you don't trust anyway. Could it be that you don;t trust yourself either? I would never tap someones phones or walls..I think thats a problem. I didn't really get the emotion out of this you were tring to convey. Can't always get it, now can we? Flow was good, and otherwise, good work.
Fav Part:
"Button tapping may not get me anywhere, success
Nonetheless it has brought me, so smoke.
Waiting got me checking for the white icon, pressed for pressing
Times. And still no joy, but give me a cigarette ‘n I’ll act as coy"
This seems devious, and that;s why I honed in on it. Not my favorite part, just my most explanatory part as to why I reviewed this the way I did.
Powerful scribing of how you feel about someone who obviosly has hurt you. I thought the vocabulary created an energized feeling, a feeling of what you might need to say to this person. The realization of the other in words was gentle yet stern. Very good.
Fav Part:
"Rebuild your heart
Atone the wreckage
Sacrifice doubt to regain the sane
Free yourself of mental blockage
Know you will live but never the same"
You write very well for fifteen, so I will give you a break here. I loved the content, again, very loving and deep. However the flow in the lines could be more matched in syllabic couplets. Al in all I thought the message and the tenderness reigned over any errors! Congratulations on another great poem!
Fav Part:
"I blink again and again
Am I really alive?
How am I living through the pain?
The darkness is driving me insane"
Beautiful Love poem about healing arelationship that went south. I thought the syllabic rhythm was astounding, yhe contact used to illustrate your emotion is extremely heart wrenching and melting for that matter. You have a great love poem, that is all around not needing any change!
Fav Part:
"Now I feel like I’m in a race
I hardly see your face
I just keep praying that you only took space
And that no one else has taken my place"
Wow, what an impacting piece. I enjoyed the vivid picture of the setting you portray to the reader making them feel as if they were the ones walking. I found that to be excellent and a major part of the write. Thank you for this nice story and contribution to WDC.
Fav Part: "But whether it be unlucky chance,
Or ill-preparation,
Or revenge,
One person's misfortune is another vulture's
Lucky gain..."
For once the animal wins.
As a true Northern girl I took a fond liking to your wonderful tribute to the one and only Big Apple. I found your write to be inspiring and emotional manifesting your love into a magnificent literary work. Thank you for this contribution to WDC.
Fav Part: "As a true Northern girl I took a fond liking to your wonderful tribute to the one and only Big Apple. I found your write to be inspiring and emotional manifesting your love into a magnificent literary work. Thank you for this contribution to WDC."
I enjoyed your write. Although winter came to an abrupt end.lol I am sorry to hear that you managed to get your self in to such a predicament. The reader could feel your love in spite of your actions and I believe this is a really nice tribute to Shannon.
Fav Part: "I set my bag at the top of the stairs and look in on my babies. They sleep without a care; legs entwined in the covers and tousled hair. I whisper I’m sorry to each of them with a kiss and trudge downstairs, my bag feeling like a barbell tied to my balls."
What an excellent write. I enjoyed the chronological order this piece followed, it made it very easy for the reader to follow the events. I am interested is there more that happens after 10:30am? Thank you for sharing this work with me and all of WDC.
Fav Part: "Shannon and Steve followed John back to the front counter and saw a delivery man leaning with his back to the counter. Directly behind him sat a bouquet of carnations in a squat glass vase. Marigolds peeked from beneath the pink and white carnations and sprigs of baby’s breath surrounded the whole bouquet"
I enjoyed your tribute to a very special co-worker. What a wonderful gift to give a member of your work environment. I liked the depth of your write and the background information on your co-worker herself. Thank you for sharing this with me and all of WDC.
Fav Part: "I hold my astute and congenial co-worker
In highest regard,
A mother, a wife, and an offspring in her
Wonderfully personal and pleasurable times
Away from the daily grind."
Keep it up!
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