Greatly Powerful poem here! Impeccable flow, very tender yet telling, and very precise vocabulary to explain your pain. The words made me sympathize and my heart break for you. Welcome to WDC!! You will fit in great here! I really enjoyed the power in this truth you created. You made an awful sad thing sound very powerfully profound.
Fav Part:
"I have to leave now and this time I won't turn around.
I have to save myself while myself can still be found."
Keep it up!
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A very good love poem to descrbe your one true love. I really liked the factthat you kept it so short, yet in such little words, still really made an impacting heart tingling write. Very good job! Welcome to WDC!
Fav Part:
"As muscle erodes, flame dampens and depth shallows
but my desire for her ne'er dies"
Unbelievable write that makes my heart melt upon reading. I swear, you are the master of writing some really emotionally evolved love poems. This was absoluyely wonderful, and every word seems to mesh with the next, making the overall syllabic flow astounding! Unbelievable writer you are!
Fav Part:
"The way we are
Now
This minute
You are the
Essence of me
The breath
Of all my life"
Brath-taking! Keep it up!
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I enjoyed reading this, although, these poems usually are hard to review, because the feelings of jealousy and coveting are not good feelings to hold on to. That's just me, personally though so please don't take that the wrong way. I did think that if the topic was one that I thought was stronger, I would have rated this higher. You do write well and get a good point across. Welcome to WDC!
Fav Part:
"here i am....
looking at you while you sleep
envious how you sleep soundly
while im here lost in space
do you even care?"
I really hope that your heart is on the mend. keep it up! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Very great tet saddening tribute to your friend. It almost seems as if this person is dead in your mind but not in your heart. I don't know if this person you speak of is actually dead, but you drive home that empty feeling anyway, and the tender words you use for this person were nice and I really empathize with this. I am so sorry.
You did great though, in spite. Welcome To WDC!
Fav Part:
"When I make it to the top
I know I'll see you again
Then I wont keep crying
'Cuz you'll end all this pain
Even as we fall apart
We still love you from the bottom of our hearts~"
Thank you for sharing this. Keep it up!
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This was an unbelievably enchanting love poem. It holds so much meaning and strength in it's contents, and yet it is still so gentle and beautiful at the same time. This write was one of my favorite love writes on WDC so far, and Welcooem to WDC! You will fit right in here, you write like an angel and one can fall in love with your writing.
Fav Part:
"open your eyes
see the love
reflected in mine
brighter
brighter
lighting up my soul
they're windows you know"
I thought this was quite an exceptional dream. I really enjoy delving into what dreams mean and how they can help or do apply to our lives in the waking world. I was encaptured by the dream, it was a bit creepy, and the fact that you knew the book and so did your Husband, but you did not know anyone at the wedding was highly mysterious. Great write! very enjoyable. Thank you for sharring this with all at WDC!
Fav Part:
"“These five bullets that are here stand for the unity of the witches’ covenant that hunted and killed us, the vampires, but also the werewolves.” Mark had a very serious look about him. It was something that I rarely get to see, considering that he is a huge joker."
I thought this poem was nice, yet it could use a little more detail to make it more capturing. I think the confusion you are talking of is not very focused on in your contents. However, I think you have a wonderful idea, and the contents you have just need some clarification with maybe two more stanzas. Also, The word "confusion shadows" maybe should be changed to confusing shadows. I make my mistakes too, just thought I would help out.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Highly sensitive and emotional poem about a truth that most of us know or have known. You put alot of feeling in this without saying too much. I really enjoyed that, and it made me like this write even more. This is deep and creative.
Fav Part:
"She's gonna get to you
As her make-up runs
And your knees go weak."
Very nice poem about nature and it's wrath upon all. Vivid words were used, a plus! I noticed the "God" Eros...spelled Eris. I thought I would let you know. All in all, I really enjoyed this poetic creation beacause I love thunderstorms, and I know how this holds a great teaching value. Wonderful!
Fav Part:
"In the midst of hurricanes raging
All is silent, and even birds do not sing"
I found your story to be an entertaining read. I enjoyed the depth you described the characters in. I was elated to read the ending as I was hoping it would end that way. Thank you for providing a wonderful story for all to enjoy.
Fav Part: ""That's Auntie Jessica. Mom says she'll be single forever and she can't stand to see kids have any fun.""
What an enjoyable write! I loved the descriptiveness you portrayed throughout the work. The message was clear and concise. Thank you for sharing it with all of us here at WDC. I really enjoyed the story it was a wonderful read.
Fav Part: "Suddenly Sarah felt a rush of guilt. "Tom," she said in protest, "I left your present at home." Which she did; two large Pearl Jam posters were laying across her unmade bed for him. "I figured we were gonna do this after school today.""
Boy's they just can never get the timing right.
I enjoyed your patriotic write. It displays your heart through emotion on a topic close to us all. I loved the form you chose for your work, I think it fit well and made for a nice read. Thank you for sharing your piece with us all.
Fav Part: "It cascades
from each pole,
with a rush of dazzling light,
a fragrance spreading peace,
and a miracle soothing the souls
for the crucial communion
of continents of men."
This is an interesting piece you have here. I enjoyed the complexity of the message you are sending. The write was an eye opener to me and I am sure I will be thinking of this one for a while. I really liked it a lot thank you.
Fav Part: "The "future" is the "unwrapped" "gift" of
intention/chance, time still "in a box";
attainable by attention/focus, choice/chance,
and action/reaction. "
Nice piece about getting older and passing away in good spirit and around loving souls. I enjoyed your poetic write as the rhythmic pattern made the flow smooth as silk. Thank you for sharing.
Fav Part: "Warmth again to the old man came.
Light shining ever so brightly.
Softly, so softly, calling his name.
Come home old friend, come home."
I really enjoyed your poem it is a true dedication to friendship. I can see the emotion you feel expressed through your words. The flow was smooth making for an easy read. Thank you for sharing it with me.
Fav Part: "Friend our time is shared.
Both joy and sorrow too.
Memories, a lifetime known.
With caring hearts that grew."
I enjoyed your write it was an abstract mysterious write about passion and being in the moment. Vocabulary was great and I did not find any grammar mistakes. Thank you for sharing your poem with all of us. You do make the reader think.
Fav Part: "People move like scattered leaves,
still they stood,
as in a trance.
Trying to catch this moment's time.
Not too late
to take a chance."
Awesome write teaching the "trumps" that with a greed bred mind, that eventually, they will get "Trumped" and have nothing as the affliction of success is a never ending domino effect on everything just as you described. Very deep, good teaching principles to it, a little choppy, but the message disguised the things needing edit, which is the most impressive to me. Thanks so much for sharing!
Fav Part:
"We have lost at our own cost; yet the spending is never-ending!
Trial by more error, we try to learn what we thought we knew…
In the presence of our nature, we have no clue!"
Great but saddneing poem about your father. If only parents knew what this did to their children, maybe just maybe they would think twice bwefore having them or getting married only to break their kids. Just because your Mother and Father were not together, it should never affected his relationship with you. This really makes my heart break. Its a great write though, and I am so sorry this ever happened to you.
Fav Part:
"My dad is 34
He has a girlfriend, or maybe more
He's not busy for them
But me,
How could this be?"
This was a perfect opinionated piece that, I myself, couldnt agree more with. I was astounded at how many views the two of us both hold. This practically brought tears to my eyes as reading knowing about the way people can be so selfish and heartless, and not even give a second look to another person who is immensely struggling. I love this piece! If I could, I'd give you a ribbon for it, as Gypsy told me she wanted to, however, I didnt know how much I would like it until its been graced before my eyes! Awesome work!
Hard to chopose a fav. part!!
Here goes :
"In order to love someone other than ourselves we need to be self-less, and put other people before ourselves. It doesn’t matter who that person is, as long as we think of their needs first we are on our way to become more loving people."
What a person you are! Be proud of this, very!
Keep it up!
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Great Mysterious penning of a love not yet found, Alot of emotional depth went into this and that I commend you for. I liked the gloe, even though it was freeverse, and I am usually a syllabic rhymer..lol. I still appreciated the moral value of this and the yearning for a new and "true" love.
Fav Part:
"Are you the keeper of all answers that my heart keeps questioning?
I have lost myself in arms that I thought I belonged
I have caressed and laid myself in places unknown"
I really enjoyed this piece, almost as though you have an auto-biographical rambling conversation to yourself here, which it seems is much needed and I believe we all have these questions in our minds at one time or another when things dont seem so transparent. I really thought the piece was creative, although the structure was not in any particular order, it still was an overall very intriquing write. I do pray that you arent so lost anymore.
Fav Part:
"Is this how it is all supposed to end?
aah 'such sweet sorrow" a great man once said
Wait. A thought just crossed my mind
Maybe this is all there is, this moment, this very moment"
I can see you have been dealing with wild fires too. I am sick of the smell and smoke that we have been having here. I enjoyed your story it had action suspense and emotion all wrapped up in to a very nice short story. I will have to say you had my hair standing up on the back of my neck when the fire got so close.
Fav Part: "The old truck’s gas gauge, stuck on E for years, finally matched what was in the empty tank. Michael started swearing at the “I told you so” look on his girl friend’s face."
Very Good poem about you crying and why you do it! I noticed some grammatic mistakes and mispellings, but the conyents were pretty good, so it made up for it. It's nice to see one admit they cry.
I enjoyed, thanks for sharing.
Fav Part:
"Through all the tears, i still smile. All the foul things said, stuck the back of my head. That sound in the dark I cry. The sound in the light I sigh,"
Thank you for sharing the beginning of this wonderful story with me. I enjoyed your writing as I do with most writes that take me to another place. Africa would be on my list of places I would like to visit one day. I do have one small suggestion, I know there are some people on WDC who love to read although their eye sight is not the best anymore perhaps you could make your font just a little bigger.
Fav Part: "“I’d like to make a toast to the new parents!” He held his cup in the air briefly, then, not waiting for Bridget or Robert to follow, he chugged the brandy in one gulp. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he then threw back his head and once again, yelled."
Keep it up!
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