Awesome page and great idea!!! I will adopt a newbie!! This really humbled me as I remember how confused I was when I first joined this site!
Great forum!
Violet
This is a poem that can be taken the wrong way, ause its quite generalized. I will let you tell me what it means, cause this is all a mystery write to me, and I dont want to try and think of what you were really saying, I think if I am confused that would be disrespectful. It had alot of anger and power to it, so even though I cannot fully comprehend it, I see the value in it. There is an insight, I just am having a hard time seeing it! Ooops. Nice work though! In absract sense.
Fav Part:
"Faces of her but not herself.
Once maybe but not this time,
out of sight, out of rhyme.
Sight is useless to one of two.
What to do? Might be you."
This one was great!! Even though painful, very precise in the point you try to get across. I really enjoyed this very much. I tried to find a favorite part except the ending..lol. So here it is!
Fav Part:
"Blackened soul upon the floor
I close shut the door...
Close shut the door...
Shut the door... "
I liked this one, although I think that the others were less choppy, but I know about choppy, I do it too. Its something that manty struggle with. The words hear were saddening yet again, and I am wondering what happened to you? Who did this to you? And a Mother was involved too. I am so sorry, and this poem illustrates a deepened wound from distrust or abuse of trust, and thats never fair. Very real, but not right.
Fav Part:
"The tree we planted has grown, the fruits nice
Sweet and juicy, bright red, and a good size
The day was a good day, the memory will be nice
When I think back on it, I’ll forget it was all lies"
Of course your ending!! This was the most powerful part! Keep it up!
Dont let someone take your trust in people away. Please. Its not worth it.
This is also another great story of how you describe nature so emotionally, andI love the way you do that. Your vocabulary definitely makes your hike come alive, as if the reader is right there with you. Very Very good short story, no spelling mistakes that I saw.
Fav Part:
"Each deer and rabbit and hawk divulge a history of triumph of generations spanning time itself. I slumber lulled peacefully into dream scape lost to the digital world beyond this the valley of hidden delight. "
I liked those words..especially the slumber lostto the digital world...sometimes technology getsin the way of simplicity and especially humans connection with nature all around.
Very creative write describing the tide and how it ebbs and flows. I like the title, it makes it seem very magical, which it really is. I especially liked the power in the ending.
Fav Part:
"In this fashion time moves on, relentless in it's pursuit
Though changing times hear newer tunes, the white water dance is eternal"
As I stated in my review of part , I love how vividly you describe your travels and adventures. I would love to travel the world to see new and interesting places, but right now all I can do is read about them and let the author paint the picture I see. You are doing such a good job to make my travel enjoyable.
Fav Part: ""You were about to tell me why you’re taking this trip to the Philippines before you fell asleep," William says."
Below I did find one little mistake I think you meant to say we instead of you.
"Oh, yes. I took Benadryl just before you boarded in Honolulu."
Thank you for this interesting and twisty write. I was shocked at the end I will have to admit. You did a good job of hiding the ending from me. This was a nice story which I will have to tell others about. You have a way of making me smile girl.
Fav Part: "She closed her eyes tight, and then opened them again, hoping the opaque animal was a figment of her imagination. If a rabbit could smile, this one was doing just that. In fact, the animal sat up on its hind legs, raised one front paw in greeting, and waved. "
What a wonderful love poem that makes a heart sing of happiness and joy. This is beautiful, with a great rhythm and wonderful contents within that Rhythm. Great Job! I give this a five.
fav part:
"If today were tomorrow under sand
And nothing survives across the land
I would hold happiness in my hand
For I am fed by you"
Thank you for this wonderful recollection of events depicting a vivid picture of your homeland and journey. I enjoyed the vacation you took me on through your work it was refreshing and I will have to continue reading it.
Fav Part: "It’s never been a secret to the family that Mama harbored some deep emotions and bitterness over Papa’s alleged affairs with other women. " This sounds like my mother and father too.
Thank you for this sharing this wonderful write. I can see your memory is a treasured one with lots of good food and fun. I enjoyed the vivid picture your words painted in my mind like brush strokes on a canvas. This was a truly excellent piece what more can I say.
Fav Part: "When dusk came, it was nearly time for the big event we all were looking forward to, fireworks! In the years before nervous town elders regulated fireworks, the adults would put on spontaneous displays to amuse their children. I can remember Dad handing me lit and spitting sparklers and wishing they lasted more than a few scant seconds. "
Perfect love poem that flowed from the heart just as it did to paper..or screen. I was astonished with the vibrance and loving feeling behind the poem and felt an aching emptiness while reading. However, it was of great value, and makes the reader really think. Thank you! No mistakes in this one!
Fav Part:
"I bid you to come, my message is clear,
to those who are weary eternities near.
Heavens splendor awaits you, your spirit will rise,
remember you heard it through this angels eyes."
full of mystery and unbridled passion.
Keep it up!
So sad, yet a beautiful depiction of a soul choosing power and materialism over love, which is the only thing that surely sustains no matter what income or success story. This had my eyes glues, especially with the breaks for his lyrics in music. No mistakes, and captivating!
Fav Part:
"Sadly, he sung on:
“Now I have it all, dear.
Now I have it made.
Money, power and a palace
Resting in the mountain’s shade.
But has it made me happy
Throughout these lonely years?
I dream of you and view my kingdom
Through a veil of tears.”"
Keep it up!
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Interesting topic you choose. I love reading about new things which I have not previously see forty works on. I do enjoy love poems but it seems it is always the same story told a hundred different ways. Your tattoo idea is truly genius in my eyes.
Fav Part: ""But to the meek, as it is with you,
the tired and the weary,
the lonely and desperate seekers of truth.""
I enjoyed this write even though I do not usually like vampire stories, but I always keep an open mind. I found your work to have something (not quite sure what it was) that most vampire writes do not. Thank you for sharing and I hope to read more in the future.
Fav Part: "“I don’t take orders from you.” Gabe answered. Still on the steps, he couldn’t yet see the foe. But it was certain Valenko could see him. In his years hunting the creatures they never ceased to amaze, as well as sicken him. These monsters were nearly unstoppable. Fear froze his blood."
Thank you for the new segment. I have been reading them as they come out and I hope to read them all as they are so wonderful. What more can I say you have me hooked. As all the other segments this was really enjoyable.
Fav Part: "I let you pass, you let me go, neither knowing that each time,
each event belonged to us and to the unborn from us."
Thank you for sharing this wonderful work with all of us here on WDC. I enjoyed the way you chose to open the work, it captivated my attention from the beginning.
Fav Part: "We lived in a small community of 3500 souls in central Maine. Our house was a sprawling three-story structure with an attached two-story barn/garage. Connecting the garage to the house was a multistory section with an unheated bedroom upstairs (mine for several years) and an oversized wood shed downstairs."
Awesome place to say why we as consumers, and also family to you, love the site...There are too many reasons to list. This was a great way to show my appreciation though! Thank you, all of WDC!!
Violet
Very enjoyable and intellectual read about the wonder of family and traditions steemed forth but do we actually know the whole story behind the warmth of such baked treats passed down? No. You did a great job claryfyintg that yet being very soft about it. I loved the coziness included, very subtle clues as a mystery, and that makes it all the more alluring.
Fav Part:
"family legend is a funny thing. I know my family, and I think there were a lot of details left out of this account. Forty years is long enough for a story to take on a life of it's own. But, this is the lore I was told when I was young, and it is the way I tell it to my kids."
Awesome story about family and the history they leave in purity, even if it wasnt that way. Keep it up!!
Thank you for the enjoyable read. I especially enjoyed the the part listed below. Funny, but my brother once said something very similar to our mother. Excellent work on this one I want to read more.
Fav Part: "Now, Mother," he had said in that same voice he used to reason with a balky child, "it was just a dream. A real nightmare maybe, but a dream, still the same. We've always swum in that creek. Don't be such a worrier.""
What an interesting end to an amazing write. You got me with that. I enjoyed the setting you detailed, it was vivid enough for me to close my eyes and envision it. Your work is a dark but also humorous one, an interesting twist.
Fav Part: "I made eye contact with one of society's classless humans. He was hanging out at the front of one of the massage parlors in the neighborhood known for its x-rated attractions. His clothing is ugly, dirty and wrinkled. He is a perfect victim."
Keep it up!
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