You made me feel! Yep. You captured it. The emotion of depression is a mixed thing. It is a lot like other times in our life when we are fussy or complaining and ask others to go away. What we really mean is we need help seeing anything loveable about us. It is often melodrama, but it is not to be taken lightly. It is a desperate call for help from a spirit that feels conquered.
My Favorite Part
The last line sums it up Help!
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Very interesting viewpoint! This is an intriguing poem and one which expresses a feeling a lot of us have at varied times in our lives. We don't want others to be hurt by the things that have hurt us, so we ask them not to come into our mind, into our thoughts, into our gloom.
You might want to check out the word here. It is used a lot throughout this poem. I found it to be unnecessary sometimes, so it may be a simple thing to focus on it and replace or remove it.
My Favorite Part
The last line, in saying My thoughts are mine for now does not cut the reader off forever, just for a while
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Hi!
Folders are the doorways from the Main Entrance to the Wings that hold the different categories of our stuff! Portfolio impact is greatly governed by getting the reader interested.
You've got to get some wallhangings and throw rugs in here! Take a moment and look at your portfolio as a representation of your work. Tell people what is inside with a bit of poetry or prose and a picture or sig!
How romantic! This is a sweet poem of an ideal of love represented in your life by these two lovers. So many of desire that type of relationship and never find it. I pray their love will remain strong and true over the years.
My Favorite Part
The impression I get from this poem is one of true love, of being together forever, heart to heart.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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This poem is very neat. The word lent caused me to stop and think and to continue considering the repercussions of lending our hearts to those we love. It is a great image. Thanks.
My Favorite Part
It is the feeling we have when we know our hearts are with another, with a commitment strong and true.
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Oh, yeah! This poem has been chosen for "Invalid Item" This is perfectly wonderful. And unfortunately true, when a youngster puts her mind to it, she or he can rule the roost and ruin the roast!
This will be the 4th Lighthouse in the September Junior Lighthouse Challenge! Readers young and old will be bopping in to read this!
My Favorite Part
I don't think I can single out one part. Too cute! The Queen of Mean
Hee Hee! Ho ho! Hahahahaha!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Well-done poem! The words you use support the title very well. I felt there were a few awkward spots rhythmically. The most notable for me was the fourth line of the second stanza. I learned not too long ago that beginning some lines with consonants gives them a more definite beginning. Therefore, it may just be the two vowels beginning the first two words of that line. Who knows? Anyway, I wanted you to know that I feel the meaning there is a little blurred.
I like the way you repeated the title a little differently between stanzas and how it created a flow in the poem that would not have been there without the repetition.
My Favorite Part
fading like prisms This is a wonderful image. I examined it mentally and emotionally and found it to be a good representation of what you are talking about.
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It's all about feeling! This is another awesome poem with plenty of things to share with children or even other adults. It reminds me of books and movies like the Pagemaster. You never know what you will find when you look inside your own thoughts. Will I find ways to delete all strife Awkward phrase, perhaps a different word such as end would work better here.
My Favorite Part
I really enjoyed the whole poem and the way it transported me to a place where using your imagination is acceptable and really wondrous.
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Ewwwwwwwww! You are actually too funny. Hee Hee! This is great, but you made my mouth water! Not happily. Gross. I love to see kids when you read things like this to them. You could give them a glass of buttermilk to taste, then read this poem to them. Hahahahaha! I can hear them giggling and saying Ewwwwwwww! I love children and I love your poems!
My Favorite Part
All the alternative combinations you gave were pretty awful, too!
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I got to see an elephant! This poem is really adorable! I can see it being a favorite for lots of children. I got such a kick out of it, because you made me laugh. I could see the things that were happening on each line.
My Favorite Part
It was the end, but I don't want to give it away! Others will have to read it for themselves.
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What a great poem! I like the way you work your way around to that last line. It is a memorable way to end this poem. I like the title and I like the way it all settles in around the reckless abandon of just being you.
Hi!
Folders are the doorways from the Main Entrance to the Wings that hold the different categories of our stuff! Portfolio impact is greatly governed by getting the reader interested.
This is a nice introduction to your poetry. I'd like to see it dressed up a little, since you do want people to hang on every word! Color and images add a lot, especially to a folder.
I love the little poem you made. My only suggestion is that you don't need the word and at the end of the second sentence. You could insert a comma instead or not, it's up to you.
Note:You need to edit this and put your rating on it. E will work just great!
Thoughts as ethereal things, great imagery. It's interesting how you wove this poem of the anguish and loneliness in the darkness of midnight. We are separated from the world of activity and companionship, but joined with what is not seen with the eye or heard with the ear.
My Favorite Part
Your artistry in bringing me to a place where I can relate by using the right words, like closeted and childish and lost.
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Concise and striking! This is a really well done synopsis of a marriage with extreme loss in it. I wish that more marriages could reform into solid love after being melted down by tragedy. Sometimes we melt down separately and reform apart, hardening the part closest to the one we loved.
You have drawn an awesome picture with words. Where a picture paints a thousand words, your words have painted countless images. That, my dear, is poetry!
My Favorite Part
we hold one another, dancing round and round
I believe in the spiraling rhythm of the universe, from the DNA to the music of the solar system and the spheres, it is a dance. You brought your poem back to that dance, to love.
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Good morning, my beautiful friend! I've come to play in your port for a little while. I like this poem. I am going to share with you what I see in it, just think about it, I'm not an authority on poems. On the other hand, I am good at picking up on emotion!
The Abyss That is You Absolutely incredible title, but then you pulled your punches! Switching to his and her instead of you and me pulled out emotionally. Hit us over the head with this one!
Secondly, I would like to see you put in some commas and periods. My first suggestion is always to write it out like prose if you can't figure out where the punctuation goes, then put it back into this form.
Go for it!
My Favorite Part
Frozen dreams Like the title, this image is a keeper! Wow! Great job!
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What vivid images! Fire is something we can all relate to and we all seem to have an opinion about it. This poem reminds me of families who keep the fire burning through generations by tending that little ember that is left in the heart of the ashes in the morning. They take the fire with them when they move to a new home. They share the fire from one household to the next, always making sure their neighbor has fire.
My Favorite Part
The little city in the flames is cool, but the sparks flying is the best!
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Hi! This is a cool poem. The last half of it is really rhythmical and poetic.
The first half could use some work. I believe the first line should end in a singular year. This probably needs to have some hint in the poem that it is about summer solstice, because winter solstice also happens. The first half is blurred to me, if that makes any sense.
It might help to insert some poetic form such as rhyme in it. I like to read and write poetry, but I am not an expert on poetry. Keep up the good work and keep aiming at great!
My Favorite Part
I especially love the way you created motion with cascade in torrent.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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This is really interesting! I enjoyed reading it very much. It kept me interested all the way through. There are some faltering areas punctuation-wise, but that does not keep it from being easy to read!
Please let me know when you finish it, so I can come back and read it again!
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
It is a good idea to put a rating on every one of your works. Even though this is a ghost story, I think it can still have an E or 13+ rating easily.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
The following quote, which begins a one-sentence paragraph, could benefit from being broken into smaller parts.
George Allison, our foreman had asked that we get as much done this morning,I
The days day's work had finished
heard a voice calling for me, it was Steve,
we said our goodbye's goodbyes and then made our way upstairs.
I decided to enlist my roomates roommate's help
Judging by how the boy was dressed, This is the last sentence, it just ends bluntly! Where is the rest of it? This is really interesting!
My Favorite Part
I really enjoyed the eeriness you added to this. With a little reworking, it could be scary!
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What a difference! Yes, forty years can be a long time. Then again, it can be a short time as well. It scares me to know that so many of us don't heed the lessons of the past or even the present. No one wants anything to get worse, but hardly any one takes the time to vote. So much strife to obtain rights and so quickly lose them without any effort at all.
My Favorite Part
Your speech patterns really served their purpose! You really accomplished so much in so few words. Well done!
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This is cute! This is about the most complaining I have ever heard out of an angel. Hee Hee. The poor little guy. He got smished and squoooshed. I can just heart the giggling of little children now!
My Favorite Part
I think it might be the little child carrying him around in the toy train, although there are lots of funny things.
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Yep, that will do it! Kids are so great. Their solutions are so spontaneous. That is not to say that they will work. They do, however put things into perspective when you get upset about things!
My Favorite Part
... is that you deal with your frustration by remembering those awful and sometimes frantic times with humor and love!
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Can't children just make you feel all better?!? Out of the mouths of babes! Kids can really put us in our place for the things we take for granted, can't they? It's a mystical magical world every morning for them and they just get up and deal with it all day!
My Favorite Part
It could have been me! And I always have curly hair!
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Hee Hee Hee! Boy, I know the feeling of not getting rid of old things! I also know the frustration of that old thing continuing to take up space on the planet when it should be in the bottom of the dog house for comfort for a winter season, then out!!!
But no, it's just what we love about the little dears.
My Favorite Part
I love the male stripper reference. Too hilarious!
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Lament (E) For those I will not see again, I am better for having met you. #752681 by C. Powell
We don't want to forget. You have taken that heartache of things that we left out of our lives and made a mournful song of that knowledge. The sadness, the joy, the craving of our spirits to have one more moment in the past, when things were different than now; to have that moment and change it somehow. We hold within us the hope that we will never forget, but wish we could remember something better, something more pure and more wonderful. We remember our own version of history and history may repeat itself, but it will never change.
My Favorite Part
This wondrous desire
Laden with regret
What an incredible phrase to sum up the time that we wish we had back.
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Thanks for this poem! Such a wonderful poem about the Junk Box Kitten. I appreciate your sharing it with all of us, especially your generosity in allowing the JBK to use it as her very own poem! Yippee!
I want to help you get a better version of your sig up. Please write and we'll figure out how to put it up with a little more focus.
I just have to say that this poem is so imaginative and refreshingly joyful! I love my cats and this is just the way they act. They want the rings off milk bottles, hair ties, boxes and old sacks rather than most of the store-bought joys I buy for them!
My Favorite Part
That you wrote this and shared it with the Junk Box Kitten at my port!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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You made me feel! 
Hee Hee! This is great, but you made my mouth water! Not happily. 
Gross. I love to see kids when you read things like this to them. You could give them a glass of buttermilk to taste, then read this poem to them. Hahahahaha! I can hear them giggling and saying Ewwwwwwww! I love children and I love your poems!
