This is probably where it is dawning on you that you have agreed to unleash a monster. I am an avid reviewer, a little like a leech or a bulldog. Or a lot like a privateer who comes into port and lays siege to the place and goes through the houses one by one, subduing anyone or anything that resists, collecting a toll (in this case, something created, designed or collected by you), leaving something (in this case, my signature 53 gps) and going on to the next.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
Hmmmmmmmmm... what new idea do I have for this folder?
Well, for one, I think it's the pits to have the last modified time and date of more than a year ago...
dot dot dot
Hee Hee!
OK, you win, I can't think of a new thing to say!
Your titles tell me what's in here, but the folder "body" doesn't tell me much about your poetry.
Oh, well! Sailing in to pillage the poetry patch.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
Very cool to put all your goodies in here, but can we have a hint? What do you like to write about?
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
Well, yeah, it has a picture, but it's the same one. Of course, that does tie the site together, so who's complaining? Me! I want more! Where are the SigMarks one for each category? Hee Hee!
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
Nah, no fun in this category yet! I am perusing the port, though. You know, you really should clean up in the aviary. Those hawks and owls have stacked little mouse bones and yuck all over the place!
Thanks so much for your informative and instructive article. It is well-written, sticks to the subject. It tells the whys and wherefores of a good review and what the strengths are. It does not back away from the key weaknesses of bad reviews. I don't think anyone can stress too much that judgement of the material or bitterness and anger in your own life should never affect a review you give.
Thanks for writing and thanks for reminding us that what we do and say affects others to the point that people will simply cease trying or at least quit trying here if we drive them away. This community is so cool and supportive in so many ways!
Write on! center}
A ship in its harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for.
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Well, yeah, you hit the high points and the low blows. It is disgusting to realize that my eyes will never be the same and getting up from the floor is almost not worth getting down there for anything! This is very cute and comical and fun and I definitely relate!
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
You might want to read it aloud. I did and although I won't say there were huge places, there were a few awkward spots.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
Didn't notice anything blatant as I read to myself and then read it aloud to a friend. You have a great sense of humor, even if the subject matter is really close to home for me!
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This is a cool story. Sad and poignant, but cool. You did a good job of getting me interested in your characters. Your wizard, a close imitation of the old wizard Gandalf from Lord of the Rings was cool.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
It might be a good thing to give your wizard a different name altogether or spell it the way Tolkien did in his books.
There is a light-heartedness about this story and I think it is because we fantasy people have gotten exposed to wise old wizards such as Gandalf and Dumbledore and will never be the same.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
I was busy reading and finding out what happened next, so I didn't notice any glaring problems with grammar or spelling.
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I just had to look at one more example of your writing. Yeah, I'm an addict. I love to read! Again, this is awesome, but needs some work. The words are filled with emotion and tug at my patriotism and my love of right and justice.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
I would suggest giving it more form and singling out the message you have.
You speak the "word" and down
The corridor of thought is cast
An all-illuminating light;to set
At liberty the fetters or prejudice-
It's actually difficult to find a place to stop, since it is short, but this is an example of what I mean. I'm sure you have plenty to bring to us!
'You speak the word
and down
the corridor of thought
is cast an all-illuminating light;
to set at liberty the fetters of prejudice—'
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
At liberty the fetters or prejudice- fetters of prejudice (of course, I may be wrong).
This poem has some cool images in it. The rocks rumbling made me think we were in for a flood. The lack of punctuation gave me the same impression. So much that I couldn't rein it in after the excitement of the grass to be peaceful and restful.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
So, I would recommend taking a little more time with the story. The fish are jumping. What season is it? Why are they jumping? You don't need to answer those questions in your poem, but you need the answers because you are the story teller. Where is the grass? In the river? Is she out of her banks?
I really like this poem, but it needs more form. Please play with the words and make it tell us about the river. It sounds like a fast playful river, rather than a wide slowly flowing one.
I'm impressed with your emotional impact, when the design factor catches up, your poetry is going to be awesome! Keep it up!
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
The river is the place thats really restful. that's
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You have made this folder a beautiful extension of your imagination to fill with thoughts and emotions in the form of poetry. There is just the right ratio of explanation to general statement. A little about each poem, a little about the section in your port!
Bravo!
A ship in its harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for.
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Wow!
The before and after on this were only about a week apart! What an awesome presentation of your poetry. This is the perfect venue to place your three types of poetry in sweet folders with well-thought out names!
That's what I'm talking about!
A ship in its harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for.
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Thanks for entering the Newbie challenge and welcome to WDC (WritingDotCom}
This is a sweet poem. It is filled with imagery, the seedlings moving through earth and the leaves and blossoms opening. I like it.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
I'd like to see a longer version, with more movement and color, but this one is cool. Let me know if you do have a longer one already. I'd like to see your version of the word-pictures of springtime.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
The journey begins with tiny seedlings.
Deep in the ground,as searching footsteps.
Feel the warmth of womb earth.
A space is needed after the comma. The second and third line never make a sentence, but they could be extensions of the first line. Something to play with, at least.
What a wonderful idea! I applaud your efforts to get some people involved in entering their poetry in the slam. It should also be an awesome way to discover some great poetry.
Thanks for doing this, ladies!
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
Awesome job at shaping the words and using color and emoticons. Can I have a pic please? Hee Hee! I like a picture hanging on the wall in the entryway to give me an impression. The name helps a lot, though.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
I didn't find any!
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This is sweet. You have done a good job of bringing the child's thoughts out of the speaker. Sometimes the child in each of us speaks out, asking for life to be fair and true and beautiful. We pray that our loved ones will be okay.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
What about an ice cream Sundae
covered in brown chocolate sauce
but no ugly red cherries
in the garbage I'd toss.
Awkward. Actually sounds like you will not throw away the cherries. The easiest fix is 'but the ugly red cherries in the garbage I'd toss'
However, I would challenge you to fix it up a little better. Through out the 'but' and redesign these two lines (or just go for the easy fix and think about it).
He's fighting for these people
that he's never met before
People that don't have as much as us
People that are poor.
'that' alert. I am getting used to delving into my use of THAT. So, I challenge you to pull THAT tooth.
So, here I am, perhaps the only one who comes by and reviews the folders as well as the contents. I know that brief and concise, focused and "to the point" are good traits. However, I like ports with throw rugs and luscious window treatments aka pictures and descriptions.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
Maybe just a little ML or color? Pretty please?
Thanks!
I'm not thanking you for changing, I'm just thanking you for reading this far!
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
Hello, mousiebrowniecho! This poem has plenty of impact. I can see the daggers coming out of his eyes and hitting the other guy squarely in the back!
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
The last stanza could be restated and made to flow a little smoother: His great affections
are not returned.
Her heart’s with another.
his love is spurned.
The third line could be:
'Her heart is another's'
It's up to you, I just had difficulty keeping it flowing, the words 'heart's with' stopped me.
I have no other suggestions. You wrote a poem that is very clearly about the subject/title! I like it!
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You have done an awesome job of telling us why you review the way you do. I am fairly new to reviewing writing, especially poetry and so I kind of have my rules of what I like. I like poetry that takes me with it and gives me a reason to think about it.
I like a story that makes sense and non-fiction that sticks to the facts. I also like to see a clean manuscript. This is something that is not found often, at least in the first 700 reviews I have done. Admittedly, I review photos, images, folders and port files designed for reviewing groups, contests and other stuff.
Okay, you may end up reviewing my review! I just have to say I LOVE what you did here. From linking the image to a file (that's how I got here) to having the ability to communicate with writers!
It's so nice to visit your place. I like this poem. It has a bit of history and a lot of wheatfields prairie breeze blowing feeling as well.
Since you know I adore your poetry and there is really nothing to talk about as far as typos and grammar, I wanted to tell you that you remind me of things and make me stop to pay attention.
Back when Mac Davis was on TV in the 70s, he had a portion of his show when people gave him a word or phrase and he sang a song he wrote on the spot to them. It always seemed so fresh and new. Like your poems.
Thanks for sharing! A ship in its harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are for.
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Thanks for the invitation to join your campfire. This sounds like a lot of fun! Building vocabulary and using creativity are both important skills in writing.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
Hey, a picture or at least more colorful decorations would be in order!
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Hi. My name is Lola.
Some people say I am gracious under endtable
I am 10. This means that I am at the south of my life.
I have often been called an elevator in grades.
I some people think I have been blessed with neon
Sometimes i get stuck on my schoolwork, but soon I am evicted
Hi!
The clues were really weird for this! We laughed about it, but it just didn't have the focus we needed to get it "right". Definitely some awkward places, but you said it was your first. I would say the others are progressing!
The elder sisters were very love when they learned this news. "What shortwe do with ourselves all day in the bedroom?" they asked. Beauty said, "How blackit will be to live in the bedroom among the books and fields and cats."
So their father found a little hole with a large rocket, in the bedroom and they all went to live there. The father worked very mildly in the rocket and. by selling his cups and vegetables, made enough money to react coldly.
Beauty was very busy too. She was a boldlittle cook, a good little Electrician and a good little cleaning. She did all the work of the house very Jauntily.
Hi!
I love Madlibs. This one does have a few places which are still rough. You may want to read through mine and mark where the necessary spaces and changes in words.
It's cute and it could be cuter. I appreciate the effort you took.
This is beautiful. The emotion and love are very apparent. It is a lesson to each of us to learn to love ourselves enough to let God impress us with His love!
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
the pastors’ wife. And the pastors’ wife was going to wash her feet. pastor's (you used the plural form of pastors with a singular wife)
The pastors wife was a little later in the story...It was just her and the pastors’ wife.
gently caressed her feet for the next 30 minutes thirty
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Well done. This is a very wonderfully descriptive poem with the subject matter that is frightful and natural. It is amazing what violence nature and the creatures of nature endure. And soon, after the movements of wind and seasons have nurtured with rain an seeds, the land will again regenerate.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
I like it. It is a good poem!
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
Where can they go?, nowhere to hide! Perhaps: Where can they go? Nowhere to hide!
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I really love this. As we age, we realize that there are moments that only come by once. That was one of those moments, wasn't it? Your imagery is superb! I will mark it as a favorite and return to it often!
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
I don't have any idea how to make this better. It's great.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
lullaby of lonliness and despair. loneliness
Thanks for sharing!
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Hee Hee! 
I know, something for everyone! 
Write on! 
Well, yeah, it has a picture, but it's the same one. Of course, that does tie the site together, 
so who's complaining? Me! 
You know, you really should clean up in the aviary. Those hawks and owls have stacked little mouse bones and yuck all over the place! 
