I can see why you won first place in the contest. This is very well written and is easy to read. I'm not as knowledgeable about poetry as I should be, but know what I like. This depicts a happy go lucky on the outside while dying on the inside.... I love it!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
What I liked: Your poem is beautiful and flows well. It is easy to read and uses great description!
Grammar/Spelling: No obvious spelling/grammar errors but my favorite line was Fairies and fireflies on a moonlit dance,; it gave me a great mental picture.
Overall impressions: Your talent shows in your writing. I enjoyed this very much and thank your for sharing with us!
Welcome to WDC!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
What I liked Remind me not to go out with you! This is the start of a thriller. It should place high in a psychological writing contest. It is so real, it's scary! Your writing depicts feelings felt by both of them! Great job
Grammar/Spelling Old eyes have a hard time with one paragraph. It might be easier if divided; just a thought.
Overall impressions You have great talent and that is depicted in your writing. I could almost see him snap and her beg!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
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What I liked This story reminds me of my hometown. Coastal community that I like to call "Cheers at the Beach". Everyone knows you here and what you do; if it isn't spicy enough, they add to it for color when talking.
Grammar/Spelling Just a question on your image; your name is spelled differently. Is that another story brewing?
Overall impressions You are very talented and it shows in your use of description. There was a contest here for a story of how you chose your pen-name. If I find it, I'll email it to you.
Until then,
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
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What I liked There is so much truth in your few words; it's scary! We really do feel naked when someone reviews our heartfelt words. What if it doesn't make them feel like you did when you wrote it? What if they tear it apart and give it a 1 or 2 rating and you thought it was at least a 3 or 4? What if their style is different and they don't like what you poured your heart into? It leaves us doubtful. Overall impressions I enjoyed this and saw humor in your writing. I hope that my review at least makes you feel partially dressed.
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
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Your writing makes the reader think! Even in such a short piece, you ask an age-old question. Sometimes, we also have to be careful what we wish for... I enjoyed this and it did make me think! You draw your readers in with a topic everyone has questioned many times but with a different twist. Great job!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello
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What I liked : Your use of descriptive words; not the usual, everyday stuff. Great work!
Grammar/Spelling : no obvious spelling or grammar errors
Overall impressions : You paint a visual picture with your words. It gives the reader mind images. You have talent and I look forward to reading more of your writing!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva "And if you happen by my port, I'd love a review"
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What I liked The plot was great. You could expand on this to almost create a book. It grabbed my interest from the first paragraph and kept me guessing throughout. Great job!
Grammar/Spelling Old eyes have a hard time with one paragraph. Please consider splitting for ease of reading (or old people)
Please run a spell check on this! It is too good a story to not proof...
Overall impressions You show great talent in this writing and I really want you to expand on the characters and the happenings. This is a great story! Your words are descriptive and your plot is believable and there is twisted comedy. I love it!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1122434 by Not Available.
I want to call you a little twirp, but remembering that I was a smartass 16 year old once, I will refrain and be the adult that I am....
What I liked I like your gumption and style; however I would like to make some comments on your subject. As you mature, you will realize the following:
1) Those people you did not help on the side of the road who ran out of gas, will be the same ones that you need to climb that illusive ladder
2) The older you get, the smarter your parents and us "older" folks will become.
3) If you don't change your way of thinking concerning Christ and religion, you soul will be in turmoil for most of your life.... That being said, on with my review!
Grammar/Spelling/Suggestions
1)The second sentence is way too long! I got lost... Please consider splitting it up.
2)"Evil and good being a topic that can be under debate for eternity with no resolve" not a sentence; fragmented
3)"Now im not talking"; capitalization and apostrophe
4)"Weather you get something out of this"; think this should be whether
Overall impressions Your mind is working a mile a minute and yes, it's people like you who invent airplanes and produce medicines that save the world. DO something with all that instead of spouting off about things. Keep writing about all the things in that unknown mind. I'm sure there is talent there!!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
SouthernDiva
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What I liked : I love the idea behind this great poem. We must seize the day. Life is short and we should live it as such. You portray that in your poem.
Grammar/Spelling : No obvious spelling or grammar errors.
Overall impressions : This was an easy read, flowed well and I enjoyed it while still receiving a message from it's writer. Thank you for sharing!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva "And if you happen by my port, I'd love a review"
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What I liked I love the flow and the rhythm of the poem. It was a surprise ending; for some reason I thought it would be an emotional piece about her mother's grave. Duh, I guess the description of ghost should have given it away... I missed it; well done!
Grammar/Spelling The only suggestion I have is this line; "Curiousity killed that cat". Read it out loud. Too many (that's)
Overall impressions Make sure you put a rating on this. It's too good to be passed over. You might also consider changing "other" as your item type to "poetry"
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello
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What I liked The rhyme and the flow and the length and the surprise at the end. This is awesome and you show great talent! It was hard to pick my favorite part. I guess the surprise near the end!
Grammar/Spelling "Thanking of what to say." (thinking)
Overall impressions Girl, you gave me the biggest smile while reading this. I was very surprised at the ending. I hope that you received a nice grade! This is the best poem I've read in a while!
AND CONGRATS ON THE HONOR ROLL!!!!
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1122434 by Not Available.
What I liked I liked the great plot idea. You took that prompt and ran with it. You have a very vivid imagination and a broad use of descriptives.
Grammar/Spelling :
"said a slightly feminine computerised voice"; should be computerized
"“The Microsoft Corporation would like to apologise" apologize
Overall impressions You have talent and a flair for the unusual. I enjoyed the story! Thanks for sharing it.
Please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
If you happen by my port, please stop and say hello!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1122434 by Not Available.
I enjoyed your writing! Those are not exactly the things I remember about pregnancy but they are the end result On a serious note; you have talent in portraying to the readers what you are feeling. This is great!
Suggestions: "conscerns me," should be concerns
"But it is worth more a trillion dimes," missing a word in here
Congratulations on the pregnancy. My prayers will be with you and your unborn child. May you change the world; if only for you and the baby growing inside.
Now, keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
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This is so true. If we don't dance away those moments, they too soon are lost. You did a great job in putting your thoughts and feelings into a great poem. It flows well and is easy to read.
So, before it's too late; "Dance away the moments of life"
And please keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing!
SouthernDiva
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lonelybaby THOUGHTS: I can see the pain portrayed in your writing and do hope that it helps by sharing.
FIRST IMPRESSION: This story is certainly truthful... So many of my friends are diagnosed with depression or ailments which require medication. My mother takes handfuls. Has it always been this way?
PLOT THOUGHTS: Maybe it's just our generation. Your story depicts a "medicated" society and makes you stop and wonder.
FAVORITE PART: Your footnote dedication. May this ease your pain.
Writing is good therapy for the soul! So.......
PLEASE KEEP WRITING SO I CAN KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!
SouthernDiva "And if you happen by my port, I'd love a review"
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1122434 by Not Available.
FIRST IMPRESSION: I enjoyed this story. School is hard enough and is compounded when you feel you are "different". I like the way you portrayed the confusion and the joy of finally admitting.
PLOT THOUGHTS: I'm sure there are a lot of people who can relate to this plot; some who have admitted it and some who still hide it.
FAVORITE PART:That the main character and Debbie were able to remain friends for so long.
SUGGESTIONS: My old eyes had a hard time with the one paragraph. Can you divide it up a bit?
PLEASE KEEP WRITING SO I CAN KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!
SouthernDiva "And if you happen by my port, I'd love a review"
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THOUGHTS: This is the greatest (she says as she wipes the tears from her eyes) You can tell from your words how much that child means to you!
PLOT THOUGHTS: Keep her in your prayers. She will grow up one day. It is talent that enables you to put those feelings into words.
ERRORS:
"ask me what would be a nutricious breakfast." should be nutritious
"And then when that nasty man held a gun in your a Mommy's face, and you came again to live with me" I would delete "in your a" from the sentence
PLEASE KEEP WRITING SO I CAN KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!
SouthernDiva "And if you happen by my port, I'd love a review"
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1122434 by Not Available.
This poem shows your talent. It flowed well and was easy to read. There was a very potent message in these few short lines. I enjoyed the read and hope that you continue to share your writing with us.
SouthernDiva
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FIRST IMPRESSION: Your talent shows in your imagery; the descriptions are great. 
PLOT THOUGHTS: "If this house could tell some tales" 
SUGGESTIONS: You could expand on this and tell specific things taking place through the years. Thanks for sharing a great story!
ERRORS: