*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tracker1948/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
Review Requests: ON
370 Public Reviews Given
376 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Overall impression, likes, suggestions, positive closing. I am honored to do reviews upon request, usually on the first day 2023 Quill Winner
I'm good at...
...emphasizing positive things in addition to at least one suggestion2023 Quill Winner
Favorite Genres
Biography, short stories, all styles of poetry.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Dark because I am not fond of voluntarily being scared.
Favorite Item Types
True stories and experiences
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that scares me
I will not review...
I will review anything. I have reviewed books, however, they take a lot of time, the turnaround is longer than 3 days.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 -4- 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
76
76
Review of Dear Me  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello elephantsealer,

I saw your name in our newsfeed and it got my attention. Bravo for writing this "Dear Me" entry. I agree with what you have expressed as the big void in the publishing world. I have read a few books published by writers here on WdC. Stories from most of the other writers are just as good. Nice character development with believable plots. The sentence structure have the periods and commas in their correct places; good flawless pieces. I see you have received a number of review and would say they were complimentary. Continue with your 2024 plan, it is a good one.

I don't aspire to be published. I like the one-on-one contacts I have nurtured here. I am the one who roots for the underdog, cheering the protagonist of the sub-plot, but most of all communicating with the author if I am happy with what was written. An author needs to know when they are appreciated and not by the bottom line sales. I will come back to see how your year is progressing.

tracker
GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
77
77
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Theactual Treasure,

I found your poem on the left sidebar under Read & Review. I enjoyed reading "Midnight Seduction" out loud several times. There was such a wonderful melodious sound and pleasing pace. The rhyme was excellent. Your words were carefully selected to relate exactly what you wanted to say. Thank you for this poem that did leave me wanting more.

Write on!
tracker
GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
78
78
Review of Let's Go.  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sue,

As promised, I selected one of your stories to review. I chose “Let’s Go.” It was an item that was highlighted. I have some thoughts to share, that are solely mine, that I hope you will find useful.

Overall impression: I immediately appreciated the piece with the large font and double spacing between paragraphs. Opening the story with a question is a great technique to get the reader’s attention. I like stories about children going on an adventure.

What I liked: I liked that all we knew about May’s physical appearance was that she had freckles and at the end that she had red hair. Besides having a puffed jacket, we only know Mickey is a gentleman as he takes her hand to guide her through the ins and outs of the journey. He is her protector. I liked the way you worked their ages into the narrative. I was thrilled to see them escape their less-than-desirable little lives for a few hours. You have a terrific balance of narrative and dialogue! Great job!

A couple of things to bring to your attention. In the sentence "Where are we going,Mickey? We need to put a quotation mark after the question mark. The last sentence starting “He gave her a shy kiss” needs to be started after a double space. Finally, your embedded YouTube code does take you to the YouTube piece. https://youtube in the URL shows https://youtu.be has an errant period in it.

What a wonderfully sweet story of the glorious time before the teenage years set in. The build-up getting to the car has nice action, as they run, which is where I started to read faster to find out where Mickey was taking her. One last aspect I point out is the genre “other” is not specific. I recommend you use the opportunity to select a third genre. Members look at genres they are interested in so a third one will increase the chance you will have maximum
exposure.

Your writing style flows so well, it is a joy to read. It is complete with all the story elements that make up a great story. I look forward to reading other stories you have written. You definitely have a writing gift.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG


Made by Hanna


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
79
79
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Gervic,

I went to the Please Review page and look what I found. I settled in for a good read of your story "Dawn After The Storm-A Tale of Redemption" which did not disappoint.

Your main character Demus, aka Raven, is memorable. I picture him as a gruff-looking individual whose past is described enough to know he made some poor choices. He has been working to redeem himself. The moral is even someone who has had a dark past can make up for it with good deeds. You illustrated it likening his awakening to a light that flickered then became “a flame, a burning desire to break free from the chains of his past.” What a fabulous metaphor.

One little correction is in the first paragraph “sat hunched over a untouched mug" where the “a” should be “an” because the word after it starts with a vowel.

I liked the character of the barkeep who was cynical. It made for the tension you need in a good story. The scene in the bar was a great place for Demus to admit his change of heart. There are a number of lines that move an average story to an excellent one. Congratulations on a great piece. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Write on!

tracker


GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG


Made by Hanna



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
80
80
Review of Believe Me  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Princess Thai,

Welcome! I found your writing at the read & review area. I am pleased to give you this review of "Believe Me". These are my opinions only and hopefully, they will be useful to you.

What I liked: I like that you wrote this in free verse. It has such depth. When you can't stop your mind from thinking it disturbs everything around you. The simile that it is like a wheel is true. It reminds me of hamsters who run endlessly on their wheels and get nowhere. There is hope at the end with determination that things will get better.

There is one word correction. Collogues I think you meant colleagues.

Congratulations on your first entry. I hope you will write often "to pass the time."

Write on!
tracker
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

A clover image for the Power Group to use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
81
81
Review of The Curse Unravel  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi GERVIC,

I saw your story The Curse Unravel in the newsfeed. Your description caught my attention. I am writing this review with observations which are solely my own. I hope they are useful for you.

The story of Dylan and Yvonne was an outstanding albeit short love story. I had to dig into my imagination because you did not tell me much about how they appeared as you showed me, and did not tell me. That's excellent because that was the point of writing the story in that manner. I remember only that she was “beautiful,” and he had a “husky” voice and wore cologne. Your words are clear and concise with very one of them important to keep me engaged and the story moving forward. By the end, I was cheering for them to succeed in their future resolve to face the curse together. The extra storyline, about how she reacted when she touched his hand, opened a new line of thinking she somehow had a greater connection to him and his curse than either of them knew.

The best line is “You were the one, the sun in my sky, the anchor in my storm.” I have not read more beautiful metaphors in a very long time. Thank you for those words. I even learned a new word: prescient.

Congratulations on this story placing first in the Tales Shown, Not Told contest. It was an excellent, well thought out, and impeccably constructed winning entry with no mechanical flaws. I enjoyed your writing style and plan to come back and read more of your work. Way to go!

Write on!

tracker


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell


A clover image for the Power Group to use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
82
82
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello EvilEgg,

I was given your SteamPunk: A List of Themes by Beck Firing back up! today. It was in reply to my inquiry what is Steampunk? Your comprehensive list is awesome. It completely covers the numerous aspects of the genre. The way you listed them with the item in bold made it easy to read. It is a type of science fiction only going back in time with specific cues for a past era specifically with steam or watch. I now know what it is!

The list of website references is over the top great in that it must have taken a long time to assemble them. The research that went into preparing these possible themes is awe-inspiring.

Great work and a dream for a writer like me who has neither read nor written in the steampunk genre. I have everything I need right here in one place! I just may write and submit a piece of steampunk in Beck's contest. Thank you for this page. A copy is in my reference file.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

~ Click here to join a fun group ~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
83
83
Review of MUSIC AND ME  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Naomi,
I just read and want to review your personal story Music and Me. These are some thoughts I had which I hope you will find useful.

You wrote your story beautifully. It was in order as things happened with your singing. Having parents who sang was a blessing. I think music is a gift. Your whole family spending time together to sing and read poetry had to be the fondest memory for you.

The words you used to describe things like Mama "Swaying her body, singing and smiling." I can imagine in my mind how that looked and sounded. They were precious years and isn't it wonderful to have those great memories to look back upon?

As English is your second language, congratulations on having only a few suggestions. One is "Sometimes I alternate" where the past tense alternated would be used. I am rating this work five stars because it is such a great piece of writing.

I loved reading your story. It is well-written and a joy to see how things happened during your youth. Also, there is nothing as grand as being a grandmother. I have eleven grandchildren whom I adore. Keep up the great work!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

~ Click here to join a fun group ~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
84
84
Review of Safety Concerns  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Amethyst,

I am writing this review of "Safety Concerns" in response to your request for feedback on your steampunk story.

Overall impression: I really enjoyed reading the story. I particularly liked the dialogue which was clear and concise. Every exchange contributed to moving the story along while introducing your characters and what their purpose was.

The steampunk genre is new to me. Your story fits the genre perfectly well. The last line left the reader to imagine what would happen the next time. That is not used as often as it should; a cliff hanger of sorts.

You have a wonderful knack for dialogue. Your story is so well constructed where you show us, not tell us. You have no mechanical errors in your exactly 1000 word story. How did you get it to come to exactly that number of words?

Keep writing great stories. You are talented and deserve to receive continued praise from future reviewers.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

~ Click here to join a fun group ~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
85
85
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lou-By His Grace,

Your lyrics came up on Read & Review. Here are a few thoughts that are my opinion alone. I hope they are useful to you.

You set the frame and situation straight up in the first sentence. I took the hook and read on to find out who she was and why she was missed. Your chorus was especially poignant as I hate to see anyone cry, much less drown in their tears. I used my imagination to fill in who she was. The dramatic depth of despair narrows down to the line "The pain in my heart makes for good rhyme".

I would like to see one more quatrain to give a symbol of hope rising out of the troubling thought of missing her. You "decided to write more." Perhaps a memorable metaphor to tie up the storyline.

I don't see many works of lyrics. I enjoyed reading yours. Good job!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

A clover image for the Power Group to use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
86
86
Review of Dear Me.  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Dear You, PureSciFi,

My interest was piqued when I clicked on your Dear Me entry at the Hub. Yay! A legible, larger font sized and styled contest entry. These things alone hooked me into reading your story. I loved the way you transitioned from one point to the next effortlessly. Each urged me to read and enjoy each step. It felt like stream of consciousness yet constructed in a way to make a case for your style of writing. The commitments to your writing this year are robust. It was helpful to mention the activities you took part in here at WdC. The same many of us have followed in various orders. I found the format pleasing because it can be much expedient yet boring to write a list. You filled in the reasoning behind each plan. All made for a satisfying read with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Good luck accomplishing some great output in 2024!

There is one issue to take a look at. In the ninth paragraph there is a gap between the words "because" and "anything" that is easy to correct.

Thank you for deciding to participate in writing your Dear Me entry. The best part of reviewing is discovering another expert author whose work enriches your WdC experience. Congratulations on your Dear Me story. In a few words, it is fabulous!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

A clover image for the Power Group to use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
87
87
Review of Just Because...  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ruwth,

I happened upon "Just Because" when I was wandering around your portfolio today. I love this merit badge and received one of them last month. The flowers are a beautiful pastel color which is so warm and inviting. The best part was reading about how it came to be. You had a wonderful vision of a badge that is a pleasure to give. Your new exclusive badge with the self portrait is adorable. How lucky I am to have one!!! Nice job!

tracker
GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

DWG Autumn Sig
88
88
Review of The Truth Is...  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Schnujo,

The truth is you are a wonderful researcher. It was clever to start every line of this freeform poem with "The truth is." The only one I wondered about is the word typewriter in one line. I was interested in every line. I knew about carrots making you orange and maybe one or two others. The deaths in the Shakespearian plays was public justice. Many of your entries are about true people's lives. I would guess you read many biographies.

This may have been written eleven years ago, but it has the vitality of a piece written today. Great job presented in an original way. Your writing is superb. I found no mechanical errors. Due to that and the original, unique way you presented this I am rating it five stars.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

A clover image for the Power Group to use


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
89
89
Review of Cricket Review  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there!
I was jut scrolling down the messenger list looking to see if a certain person was on and caught your name. It was such a cool name I had to come visit your port. This signature is the coolest one I have ever seen. Now I am off to see what the Paper Doll Gang Is! Eventually, I will read an item of yours and review it properly.

tracker
90
90
Review of Summer Camp  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Atemu12,

I visited your portfolio today as a follow-up to my first visit to welcome you to WdC. I see "Summer Camp" has been reviewed twice. I am adding my thoughts. They are solely my opinions which I hope will be helpful to you.

What I liked: You have great storytelling skills. You used an inviting first sentence to get me engaged. I have never been to summer camp. The way you describe a couple of issues that come up, I can safely conclude it is not one of the top experiences of your life. I loved the line about your horse returning and nonchalantly eating hay.

Your story would be easier to read if you double-spaced between the paragraphs. The words "a long the trail" should be "along the trail."

You have a gift for writing an engaging true story. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Great job!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen

Group Angel Army Signature



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
91
91
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

Your poem "Sam Adams Secret Life in the Shadows" came up in the Read & Review section. I did not know until I got there I would be looking at an eight line poem for the activity Say it in Eight. It is fine. You can review a short work as easily as a longer one.

Overall, this poem was a good story. The first line saying your protagonist had a secret hooked me. When his secret was being a secret agent man, my mind took me to the song "Secret Agent Man'. You showed the audience things involved in being a secret agent including "secrets and lies." Again my mind thought of books I have read about secret agents.

Just a suggestion. You are limited to eight lines. There is a repetition of the lying/lies. Perhaps on the second reference you could remove that line, "lying and deceiving." For line seven use the one you have near there, "interfering in the affairs of other countries. A new eighth line could then show a resolution or opinion of a secret agent one way or the other. Something like, "All action needed to protect American lives." I think that would give the poem a purpose to tie it into the beginning. The way it ends now seems flat and unfinished. Remember, this is only one person's opinion. I hope it will be helpful.

One other thing is in the title itself. It should read Sam Adams' Secret Life with the possessive apostrophe I believe.

The poem is free form seemingly without a syllable and definitely with no rhyming pattern. The poem is okay. I got the feeling you, the author, do not like the lies and deception a secret agent's job entails. It may be more effective to put it out there and let the audience decide.

I enjoyed reading your work. The eight-line challenge I think is very difficult. Being confined to a few lines makes what you write is important to the success of the message.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
92
92
Review of Haunted  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Angelica,

I found your children's contest Halloween story on Read & Review. Haunted is an innocent little story written for the Not So Scary Halloween contest in October 2022.

Overall impression: You are correct, it was not scary at all. You provided the opportunity to meet the children in their own home environment, and we got to know their personalities well. You developed their characters through their interaction with the varying offerings of the haunted house.

The form of the word handful was confused. if you had four candies it would be four handfuls of candy, plural. When Mike "looked at a funny looking green face," repeating the forms of look could read smoother by changing the first "looked" with a word like glanced or noticed the face.

The story revolves around a simple, effective plot taking place in a haunted house. I enjoyed that the children were not unnecessarily broadsided with mean horror tricks. No need for them to have bad dreams from a happy fun Halloween holiday. I enjoyed reading your story, as I have other stories you have written. They are interesting and clear in their purpose which makes reading as your audience a pleasure.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
93
93
Review of Alex + Emily  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Sebastian, and welcome to WdC.

I found you in the Noticing Newbies forum. You mentioned you had three chapters posted. I made a note to myself to look at them tomorrow. I did take a peek, got hooked, and read the entire story immediately rather than waiting until tomorrow. I am reviewing it in its draft form. The opinions expressed are my own. I hope they will be helpful.

Overall Impression: The presentation with a larger than the site's default font was a joy for me as it was easier on my old eyes. The paragraphs were not long. As I was hooked by the first line, it was hopeless of me to think I would not just sit down and find out where the plot would lead me.

I liked everything from the character development to back up the desires Emily has to somehow move from boredom to bawdom. The comments of others about their relationship supported the belief in the alleged perfect love couple. I was drawn in deeper with the events in her dream. I felt such hope that something was going to change. When it did not I felt the letdown she was feeling at the end of Chapter 3.

I know you have not done the final editing. I noticed "Or react any different" which sounds better as differently. "The tales of desires that was" should be were. "Where they were headed to" remove to.

Alex and Emily is my story. You wrote it as I lived it. I found it well-written with all the elements of a great short story. You left me wanting to read more which is the ultimate of a writer's job. Kudos!

Write on!
tracker
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

Cover image for Kudos to You group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
94
94
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kate,

Welcome to WDC. I saw this story Chicken Noodle Soup you linked on the Community 48-hour Challenge. It is wonderful to see your first story which I have just read and am providing you with feedback. Reviews have a high priority here.

Overall Impression: Congratulations on posting your first story which is a good one. This is the story of a homeless person who receives soup at a soup kitchen. Attention is paid to the fact she stares at her server in awe of the kindness bestowed upon her. Taking on a dark theme and weaving your story logically to the end was admirable. I have a weakness in this genre.

The things I liked included the idea, the plot, and the insight into the mind of someone needing a basic need filled. With your descriptive words I saw the frame you provided between the dumpster and the serving station. You write with active words which gives the story energy.

The added enjoyment is the piece is mechanically flawless. Grammatical or spelling areas have a way of spoiling the whole piece of writing. There is a way to increase the font size to make it easier for the eyes to read. In the taskbar you will see a box in the middle with three S. You have font size choices. The size 4 is a nice larger size and the size I am using here.

Welcome again. I look forward to your next stories/poems/writing.

Write on!
tracker
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

Cover image for Kudos to You group



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
95
95
Review of Mutiny  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Anni Pon,

I am reviewing your recent poem Mutiny I am not sure how I came upon it but I am glad I did. The word mutiny conjures up discontent of some kind. I read your poem with increased curiosity. There is a "Captain" running the ups and downs of your body for whom you have little control.

The poem's style was evident with the lines, syllables, and rhyming patterns. Well done! It was not one I see often, which made the reading much more interesting. The analogy of mutiny with the major life-sustaining organs was brilliant. Nautical words like "sailor's warning, Captain steered, and the timbers shivered" tied the theme together to a real mutiny. My favorite line is, "Unseen, a serpent slithered
Below deck, a hiss from Liver" then continuing with the alliteration for the rest of that stanza.

One minor correction to make is the first line in the next to the final stanza. "Captain Hale , ill-fated" there is a space between Hale and ill-gated.

Congratulations on writing Mutiny. It was relatable to me as an older person with some body parts not wanting to join my life party!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell

A clover image for the Power Group to use



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
96
96
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo,

Your poem came up in the BY ONLINE AUTHORS field. As it turns out, "Water under the Bridge" is a timely reminder of the salve that is forgiveness. The payoff, peace, is so sweet.

I appreciated the way you handled a huge human condition in eight lines. Each word settled in its place. The opening line is the goal/solution. The words that follow are specific. Hurtful conversations and mean-spirited deeds need to flow out leaving a respite of calm.

It's a beautiful poem with deep meaning. Water under the bridge flows constantly replaced by fresh water ie: opportunities to smooth life's path. I thoroughly enjoyed clicking on your piece and receiving a soothing balm relatable for me and for people in general.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
97
97
Review of My Life  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello strlcuckoo,

I appreciate your request to have me review this poem and will do so with my opinions after reading "My Life".

Overall impression: It was a little awkward to read this piece at first because it was the entire lines of poetry with no breaks. It made it hard to track any rhyming scheme and take a breath in between stanzas. I took it to mean you were writing in somewhat of a free-verse style.

Your story was compelling. You had choices of life partners and which direction to go. You possibly started in one direction that was not right or did not work out. From the description of questioning your choice at the end it seemed to forebode something sad either within you or with how a situation turned out.

I felt like I was looking in on a very personal event or events in your life. I was not sure if they were good or bad making you feel up or down. I would suggest it may make a better short non-fiction story so you could embellish upon the way things went down. It would allow you to fill in some blanks that I as the audience would want to know. Did you marry and have children regrettably? Did you fall in or out of love or were you not in love at all? From the narrative, I could not tell. There was punctuation for a while then none so I was left a bit off in deciphering what occurred.

I am honored to be asked for a review. Your writing style in this one is not quite as polished as others I have read. It was written many years ago. If you take a look at it using my impressions, it may be something you may want to revise or update to give the reader a little more insight as to what transpired in your life. Thanks again.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

Made by Hanna



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
98
98
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi foxtale,

Thank you for your request to have me review your story "Tha A-Team Cake and Buster Dog". I used to watch that show and a dog named Buster sounded like there would be a little adventure involved.

Overall impression: I liked the way the story moved chronologically. I know the TV show and characters so the items on the cake were familiar up to and including the revised layout of the A-Team times. It helped a lot to know how Buster got through the front door. Dogs are red and green color blind but I imagine the box and the smell drew him directly to them. The fact he made a "beeline" for it made a great visual.

The storyline was helped by other characters when a need to move on occurred, such as his wife asking him to go to the store for the candy rocks. The descriptions were so real I felt I was part of the action. I was left wanting to read more. Great job with bringing the story together at the end. Your work is such a pleasure to read. The family stories combine humor and heartwarming experiences. The visuals of Jason snarling and the boys chortling are words that you don't see every day. Good choices when put together made for a marvelous story.

Congratulations on another expert story. I do have you on my radar to read more. If only I had 27 hours in a day to spend the extra 3 hours just reading to my heart's content. I was honored to be asked to give this review. Thank you for that.

Write on!
tracker
GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

(image:2056440-50%}


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
99
99
Review of The Spoils of War  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

This poem is brilliant. The words are specific. The story is clear. The moral is understood. There is everything right. No corrections. Using the vernacular of a person who may be found in a region where you find the ranchers in your poems would speak with words like learnin' and yearnin' with the others. Your poem is clear and concise. The main character is human like us, but his experiences have changed while he served us. I won't forget this poem because you are talking about my generation.

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

DWG Autumn Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
100
100
Review of Switch  
Review by tracker
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello elizjohn,

I found your poem Switch on the Please Review page. Here are some thoughts.

Switch expresses the pain and indignation of corporal punishment from the receiver's point of view. In the frame, using a switch was expected and respected as a way to correct behavior. Referring to the enforcer as Mama is an endearing way to address one's mother. To me, that meant ultimate acceptance of the punishment that left both a sting and the aroma of the honeysuckle.

I liked the way you positioned the poem on the page. I think it gives more weight to the content. When the lines are short, and shorter you need to select active words. Stripped bare and the slap and sting are good examples. Using the colloquial wasn't nothin' infers a certain level of understanding. Those words made the poem most believable.

One suggestion about listing genres for WdC. Exchange other for a genre. The genre is a keyword people use to locate items they want to read. Other is not usually selected by someone looking. A genre choice also can be used for editors to locate pieces they would recommend in their newsletters. It increases your chances of being read.

I have the opposite view of the topic. When I read, I can not help but bring my own experiences and values into interpretation. I try to relate to what I am reading. I have not experienced the switch nor know anyone personally who has. I get what is involved and the general purpose. I respect the intent of the action. However, I had a hard time getting past my feelings about intentionally invoking pain to a defenseless child, even in the name of non-fiction tales. Despite my stance, I think it will be an excellent addition to your chapbook. Good luck with that!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP
disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  (E)
Sharing, caring, helping each other to get through the days. Writing, delighting many ways
#1817507 by dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

DWG Autumn Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
237 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 10 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tracker1948/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4