Hi,
I faced a similar problem during my growing years. I suppose many people face this particular stage in life. Perhaps my children have faced it too.
Generally, mothers want to cut us to size. But the rebels don't allow that and make it known to their parents. In retrospect, it looks so freeing from the stereotypes.
Your poem depicts the state of mind of the child as well as the mother. You have a right analyses of two minds. The meek fall to the dictates and expectations.
So you pretend as thought you agree. But in fact you don't. And so the "lies" continue till you get away from the shackles. It could be too late by then. Always better to be one's own self whether they like it or not.
"Love does not conquer all,
for love cannot overcome its own pain"
Well tested statement. I love the truth behind it.
This poem speaks of the need for one's own space, peace, comfort and joy. To me, these are the ingredients that make a life, livable.
Hi, I am Jaya. I picked this very vocal poem to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on the nice occasion.
Have a wonderful day.
I see the anger and irritation at the way the world abuses environment.
"I want to get out of this inhumane race.
Where we toss our junk all over the place"
Exactly! This is the way of the so called refined world of today.
Your focus on greenery wins my praise. I support your view and plead with as many people as I could to plant trees and save hills. People do not hesitate to build apartments on top of green hills.
How very deplorable!
You have shown in a clear way the importance of clean and quiet atmosphere to breathe, to live and find peace and joy.
I am on your side.
This poem is well balanced because of perfect rhyming and rhythm. This is a functional poem.
This reverie on the backyard setting is quite calming, bringing peace and tranquility.
Hello turtlemoon,
you took me along with your Bluejay and beetle conversation effortlessly. A connect with nature give meaning to our lives and the cheer it brings stays with us unruffled throughout the day and beyond.
I am particularly taken by the description, "...the sun had dropped sparkling jewelry on my property."
And, "...Its reflection on the dimpled glass table top was Nature's way of painting an abstract design using light and shadows."
The play of light and shadow is attractively presented.
The interruption put too early an end for the well laid plans. Yet, I notice it makes no difference because the short recess with nature provides an adequate relief from other things.
This is the attitude I would like to cultivate i.e., letting life go at its pace with no hurry no regret.
It is not only nature I see in this splendid piece of prose, but also the beauty in the viewer's eye.
Thank you for sharing observations on nature, self and the world around.
I wish you a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!
Have a lovely day!
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this very special occasion.
Have a wonderful day!
Hi D.L.Robinson,
the fact that being positive to others' joy has a great impact on personal life comes to fore in this free style poem of yours.
The very first line makes me pay attention because you have so easily personified "Love & Joy."
"Love & Joy passed by me
Strolling hand in hand"
Indeed happy people are always a welcome change in the not-so-enthusiastic world of ours. Every one has troubles and tribulations in life. But there are always those who'd rather be happy than sad. Some are spontaneously happy.
The smooth change from rainy weather to sunshine well suits the situation.
The rhythm changes according to the mood.
"Weight rolled off my slouching frame
And now I stood full height"
it could be truly impacting a viewer, who just witnessed an old lady in a hurry being flung by the speeding vehicle.
"A collision occurred
she was flung into the air."
Compact and clear lines make the reader sit up and give attention to details.
I like this poem because of the refrain you used, the rhythm that balanced and the content taken from daily struggle of existence.
The accident in the poem is well focused on as events followed in rapid succession. Poetically, it is better if it is taken in slow motion, which I did and I was able to visualize everything as you did, walking on the pavement with a companion.
I also see the fact that we should be careful with life taking precautions as directed. Nothing is more valuable than life.
the question at the end of the poem makes difference.
Not the pure white nor the pitch black, but as you have hinted, it is "good and evil;" that matter.
Taking the debate a little forward, I would say, we are all an alchemy of good and evil or angel and devil. Given a choice I should like to see the angel dominating my thoughts.
This poem is good for self analysis. Am I or am I not good? May be good but not good enough.
I think, like you did, we all need self examination, an honest one, so we know our worth.
Imagery is visual and the rhythm makes is flow well.
I can see color blue dominates this prose poem.
Blue is my favorite color as well.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this nice occasion.
Have a wonderful day.
This house of your sister is all blue. A touch cream on the borders would be fetching in my opinion.
I like the blue eyes too. In those old movies actors such as Gregory Peck with blue eyes certainly must have been effective and attractive.
Lucky you! with blue eyes too.
The obvious blue that appeals to me is that of the ocean and the sky. The mid-day blue is so cool on the ocean deep.
Shades of azure like baby blue, midnight blue, sky blue, navy blue, cobalt, cerulean blue, corn flower blue and many more are all beautiful, attractive and oh so endearing.
The poet's picture of New Year dreams is full of drive and hope and enthusiasm to realize her own heartfelt dreams.
Hold on to dreams besides "Prayers and praise". They are the biggest asset we have, often inspiring enough to make them come true with hard work and honest intentions. Goals will come true with ease.
"Stories and rewrites are fun to tell
Full of magical, creative sales"
Writing stuff that pleases us is a fun activity no doubt. Days are made on the basis of how much time we spend on pleasing activities which are beneficial to self and society too.
I love these observations you have about life and the valuable rewards for the next year.
It flows well with tangible imagery, pleasing rhyme scheme.
I know why you don't like poetry.
I know you don't like conventions.
Well, conventions are compulsory.
Be it a poem, story or plain prose.
It was poetry that existed at the very beginning of literature.
Take any religious text, it is more like poetry.
Of course, I can see that all that you don't like about poetry is what makes poetry.
This poem is praiseworthy because it puts forward a case for poetry and justifies it's uniqueness.
Cleverly handled. I can also see why some people get bored with poetry, which is the earliest medium of expression.
Like life, poetry needs rhythm and all those features you have listed.
Love it or not, poetry is here to stay. I will go a step further and say every one is a poet and a singer unknowingly.
I recommend Sir Philip Sydney's "The Defence of Poesy" in which the author puts forward several arguments in support of poetry and also points of the need for it in life.
Inspiring story where cancer is defeated by artefact.
Hi,
I am reviewing this cute and qualitative story for your WDC Account anniversary.
Congratulation on this nice occasion,
Have a great day.
This girl's imagination flies high. I could take a bit of it myself. The ability to turn the gravity of a situation into an artistic one is truly admirable, given to a few.
The whole class and the teacher jump to action on looking at a cancer-stricken girl's colorful hat made by herself.
They don't stop till they have nice hats for themselves modelled on that of Carolina's.
I love this idea changing something serious to something endearing.
Style is appreciated, so is your errorless language.
Some inner agony seems to tear her soul and spirit to smithereens. What could be the reason that caused a person to cry out silently to end the excruciating pain she seems to suffer from.
Loss or fear of loss appears to be the main cause for causing the indescribable pain.
Words of suffering dot the whole landscape of her mind.
Fear seems to hunt for her soul for some unknown cause.
My impressions-
Looks like a successful experiment with words, particularly of those to do with loss and pain and fear.
This is roughly the image of a person gripped by fear and helplessness. The author concentrates on inner conflict for no justified reason.
It could hallucinations that haunt her life and soul, day and night.
For those who are tortured by fear and a sense of loss, prayer is the best medicine as well as meditation to calm down the torn nerves.
Free style poem in which the poet confesses what went wrong and he is ready now to redeem his ways.
Lines are short yet expression is clear.
Edit-
"There was someone
That touch me"
(There was someone
That touched me)
as you have used past tense.
It is a praiseworthy effort to realize the wrong and correct it.
I like the poem because it conveys a message that it always feels better to admit to a fault and express the wish to do it the right way, the second time.
"I chose the common path when
The path less traveled would have suited better"
Truly shocking!
The terrible beast is brought alive in this poem,
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this occasion.
Have a wonderful day!
The mythological beast of terror Kraken is painted in frightening images. I could see him coming awake and descending on the poor man to be dragged underneath.
He brought awake a sleeping creature much to his sorrow.
"As a tree trunk thick tentacle
Climbed over the rocks"
I like the perfect description of the man's fear.
"He lay gripped with terror"
Hi,
there is life's philosophy in this poem.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.
I could see through your dilemma whether to say yes or no to the questions posed.
We are verily an amalgam of good and bad, half devil half divine. Incomplete, imperfect and very human.
"walking amongst the Beauty and the Curse."
True we are never good at knowing ourselves, so we can't say ...
This inner conflict is well brought out showing our inability to define ourselves.
Hi LisaMarie,
this is a short piece, yet profound.
I got it from your port to review for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a nice day!
This story is relevant in our present world. Unnumbered girls fall for suave talk and false attention. Once their need is over, these girls are discarded pronto.
Your character is shown realistically. You conveyed a convincing message through the way in which she recovered from a shocking discovery of her evil-minded paramour. It is a healthy way to recover and find roots again instead of being bogged down by an unpleasant past.
Hi Rick,
this is a touching story about the bond between father and child.
I found it in your port and I couldn't resist reviewing it for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.
Characters-
Both characters are well defined.
You have done well showing the father's pain at his cancer ridden four-year-old daughter.
" he had laughed with a tightened chest and choking in his throat."
The young daughter is naturally shown. Too innocent and sweetly unaware of the serious situation.
"“Well not the red ones Daddy, they're the prettiest ever!”,
The appearance of red leaf in the car is credibly shown. The reader feels like suspending disbelief.
I find this short inexplicably moving, perhaps because he is so concerned about her while she has other plans.
You used minimum words, yet the reader could fill in between the lines.
To me, it also conveys the mysterious working of the mind mechanism. Out of nothing, plans emerge no matter how much they hurt the others.
Perhaps, I am reading too much into it.
The title-
It is the title that makes me conclude that the wife is ready say goodbye, for some reason. Boredom? Looking for change?
Dialog captures my imagination.
Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
I just read your article Becoming Human: The Evolution of Walking Upright and I am impressed. This topic is new to me and left me wondering why I never thought about it. You have convincingly rationalized as to "why bipedalism evolved".
Your lucid explanation as to why arms were longer than legs caused me to see the way they were more tree-bound rather than living on ground.
Another important difference you have brought to focus is the evolvement between male and female of the species. Interesting facts with a logical analysis.
The age-old practice of women caring for home and kids and men taking care of their basic needs is still relevant to many societies and even countries. I think there is logic in this practice at least till quite sometime ago.
Hi,
your nonfiction story reminded me of my experience of opening an account back in '92. I was a complete new comer to the computer. I was keen to learn how to work on computer because both my sons are good at it and I didn't want to be left behind. Also, I wanted to type my thesis on Word.
I actually joined an institute later on to learn methodically.
In your case, it was your mom who helped you create an account, that you changed from time to time. This too is fun.
I could see the fun and excitement of a thirteen-year-old creating and deleting accounts for different reasons.
glad you finally found an appropriate username to your satisfaction.
Hi,
it is a pretty vocal script on your father. I don't see you addressing him. You referred to him as a third person.
Let's call it something like "letting out my feelings" or something similar.
Yes, sometimes we find criticism quite hurting, especially from a parent. It is quite possible that he or she is just letting out steam because of their own work problems or some other bothersome issues.
However, my sympathies are with you. You can't do much rebelling under the circumstances. Just wait for the right moment to be freed of daily torture.
It is decent on your part to take vehemence and uncalled for hostility good naturedly instead raising a ruckus.
Blood bonds run quite deeply indeed.
few memories remain with us, especially of preteens. Your comparison of them with fire flies is apt and appropriate. They stick to the mind, keep flashing despite the unpleasant taste.
I remember certain events involving arguments and fierce irreparable exchange of harsh words among my family members. It was a joint family.
What little you remembered, you brought it to paper with clarity and it struck me as honest recording of summer memories.
That the child's mind is extra sensitive on certain occasions is proved regarding the incident in the car. The incident brought home to the reader your innocence and her experience in understanding it. Kids are not a joke. Their perception is surprising. You also recall your father's state of mind, as many of us do in our own lives.
River's end is the end of sorrow.
This is eloquently stated in this free style poem.
My review here is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations and have a wonderful day.
Format is attractive as the content itself.
This is the story of how the person in the poem overcame loss, grief and "unfortunate things" to cite a few.
The destination of a flow of water is to find its source of union.
The very first line bring in the analogy between human life and a river. It flows through several ups and downs to reach the eternal and steady ocean. It makes sense to see life going through trials to finally find its own peace giving solutions or compromises.
I am reminded of Bertrand Russell's essay on Happiness.
It flows well with fine imagery showing desirable progress in life.
Hi,
this story takes me along. its visuals are telling and there is an air of reality around it.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on this important occasion.
Have a pleasant day.
Feelings are shown quite naturally. This could happen in real life. The farm boy visiting the local store to shop in. The lady running the store appears young and emotional with her recent past. So does Daniel, who suffered loss too. Sounds sentimental.
Much against their reluctance, they could feel the pull of inexplainable attraction and wish to linger on.
Nice to read a seasoned writer, whose expression of emotions is real, transparent and natural.
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