~WhoMe???~'s (whome) Reviews

~WhoMe???~

Review Requests: OFF

4,509 Public Reviews Given

4,699 Total Reviews Given

251

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3763652

Review of The Secret

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Dear giftedmuse

,

This is review #1 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

The Secret

(18+)
Which is the worse secret to tell? Based on prompt for character contest
#1886093 by giftedmuse

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

With this title, there is a mystery to be found, and it sums up the story as well as compliments it. The subtext gives us a little more to go on and we now know that there are multiple levels of conspiracy afoot.

What was my first impression of the story?

What a way to start a novel. I flowed through the tale and wondered immediately where it would go from here. I can picture this as the first chapter in a book. From adventure to mystery and crime, there are so many possibilities, that I was thrilled to have gotten to read what I did.

Character build up?

The twins Ari and Dion are individuals and yet are often thought of together as being of one mind. In this story we not only see the bond and understanding between the two, but we also get to see their differences and how each one struggles with the viewpoint of the other, in this discovery. We see the moral compass of Ari and how she thinks her brother looks down on her, or shines brighter than she. Is this lower self esteem?

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

The story is fluid and smooth throughout. It is sound and filled with subplots that keep the reader on their toes.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, a good story that I enjoyed reading and would like to see continued and expanded further.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

252

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3763270

Review of For Honor's Sake

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Dear Vicentiu Vassiliu

,

This is review # of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

For Honor's Sake

(E)
A short story entry for "What a Character!".
#1884550 by Vicentiu Vassiliu

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

I think the title well represents the story as to even compliment it.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

He seemed to be flighty and all over the place with no real backbone. There were too many excuses and examples to justify the actions, that none alone or in combination made sense. I couldn't tell if he was a shell of a man, or one of high integrity. To make this the tale of a man with such high morals that he must do this or lose everything, you must first build up the man, to show his downfall. I don't feel the story does that.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

The wife at first appears smart, almost too wise. She knows without knowing. If she never had reason to guess or suggest infidelity, then why would that be the first thing she guesses he does? Did she have reason to mistrust him before?

My overall thoughts:

The story has great promise. With less restriction on the writing, as far as word count, perhaps a more detailed piece can pull together the gaps. Why does the wife jump to conclusions? Where is the spine of the husband, and if he has such high morals in all he does, why does he simply not rewire the complex? These questions and more need answered to clarify the story.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

253

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3763264

Review of One Pebble at a Time

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Dear Dawn Charboneau

,

This is bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

One Pebble at a Time

(E)
Fifteen years - the sentence that Kaufman has been subjected to, for committing one crime.
#1884152 by Dawn Charboneau

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

I found the title to be unique and one of interest. It serves as a great hook for the reader, as it doesn't give away to the plot of the story.

My first impressions?

With a great start and a good ending, the story holds promise. However, I got lost in the middle. The story didn't hold my focus and that was a big detraction for me.

Character developement?

I found it difficult at first to understand Kaufman. I think if we knew a little earlier in the game that he was fighting for freedom, that would have changed the whole perspective, and put him in a better light.

Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:

Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Avoid beginning a new sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for,and,nor,but,or,yet,so). Coordinating conjunctions should be used for connecting between items of the same class within a sentence. In formal or academic writing situations, in particular, they should not be used to introduce a new sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

~ him with was a roof...
~ wires sticking out...

My overall thoughts:

Overall, this has great potential. With more depth and detail behind the story, this would play out better. I feel with the restricted word count, having a lack of background detail detracted from the story.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

254

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3763258

Review of My Perfect Birthday Party

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Just Because I Want To Review from"JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

!

This package consists of two reviews and a cnote with 1000GPs.

Dear Princess Megan Rose 22 Years

Since you were hosting a contest, about writing the perfect birthday party celebration, you decided to share your ultimate party here as well. Creative and inventive, you have a huge guest list. Quite the fairy tale dream here.

I did notice one small typo, when speaking of what Kate Winslet brought to the party for you. Other than that, no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors were notated.

The cake appears to be quite over decorated with all of the pictures there, but done tastefully in small images of white sugar, I could picture it all quite clear.

Overall, quite the cast. I had a hard time imagining pizza and chocolate chip cookies cooked on the beach, until you added the tent. It was only then I could see the portable ovens brought in to accommodate the menu in such high fashion. Personally, I would have stuck with the pizza only, but the rest of the menu sounded good too. Perhaps linking this to your contest would showcase to the writers exactly what you were looking for in their entries, would also help.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

255

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3763209

Review of The Redemption of Judas Ray

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Dear ZeeZee O'Sevens

,

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

The Redemption of Judas Ray

(18+)
“..I knowed you was the devil's child from the moment you was conceived.."
#1884268 by ZeeZee O'Sevens

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

Intriguing and sparking an interest, the title is alluring and one that attracts readers. I like how for the subtext, instead of telling what will happen as others often do, this actually gives an exert from the story. I have not seen this with any other piece as of yet. I truly like that.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

Judas Ray is down and out, relying on thievery to get him between fixes. When confronted by the ghost of his mother, his life takes an unexpected turn. He doesn't know if he is coming or going, but he has an unease that must be settled. Judas has low self worth and very little direction in his life. He relies on others and takes them for their word, even when he knows they are liars and thieves.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

There are no grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written and free from flaw. The story is fluid and easy to read.

My overall thoughts:

Overall a decent story of redemption and salvation.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

256

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3763011

Review of The Serpent Medallion

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Dear Prosperous Snow celebrating

,

This is review #4 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my view.

The Serpent Medallion

(18+)
When she stole the medallion, did she reactivate the curse?
#1885752 by Prosperous Snow celebrating

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

This is an intriguing title, as it lays suspect to an inanimate object and shrouds it in mystery. One must go unravel the tale to find the conclusion.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

A mother that fights for the survival of her lineage, doing whatever it takes to ensure the strength of the family prospers, the queen is looking out for #1. She has no qualms of taking what she needs to get the job done.

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

Fast paced, but well told, this is a chapter out of a book. Fully edited with flawless execution, I could picture the events without further explanation.

Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:

I like how the page ends with a new obstacle to be solved. This keeps the story going and the reader guessing. Will there be more? Is this just a chapter, and now I get a full novel?

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

No grammar, spelling or punctuation errors were notated. This is well written and ready for publication.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, a great story and a joy to read.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

257

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3762918

Review of Arise

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

warriormom

STATIC

Arise

(13+)
A young woman finds hope
#1867898 by Pat ~ Rejoice always!

What a wonderful and exciting new poem. From this I get a rebirth of energy and a cleansing of the soul. This spiritual piece is quite moving and I like the image it draws upon. I can vividly picture this from the many people I see on a daily basis. Times are tough for many, and for others it is almost unbearable. To listen to that inner voice and find the strength through it to continue on, is to open the ears. The voice is there if you choose to listen.

I like the way this poem is centered, and here is why. To me, the alignment of the poem is or can be metaphoric in nature, and add to the overall picture of the story a poem is trying to relate. Not many authors, or readers, give much thought to placement or alignment, when it comes to poetry. It is my thought that something as simple as where or how you place a poem on the page, can add to its imagery. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal feelings on the subject, and not all will agree with this. Though, it does give one something to consider.

The usage of such great descriptive wording help to add to the picture. With words you paint a vivid image. Using metaphors to help add to this image turn this painting into a tapestry of art.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

258

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3760685

Review of Letter of Invitation to Dorsidhion

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This is review #2 of 2for "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

in connection with the package purchased for you by JustForYou

with the "A Dozen Delights Auction"

event.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

Letter of Invitation to Dorsidhion

(E)
Assignment: Letter of Invitation to Paper Doll Gang Group
#1632423 by ShelleyA~13 years at WDC

What a wonderful letter of recommendation for The Paper Doll Gang. I am not sure what Dorsidhion is, unless perhaps a member who was considering joining the group at the time.

This is an assignment letter. To me, from the letter alone, regardless of the fact that I have been here years upon years, I would consider joining this group. You find a new community, you get familiar with taking certain routes, and you sometimes forget that there is this street, or that shop. Perhaps taking the class or joining the group at this stage could be just as beneficial as first signing up. You never know what aspects of the site I may have forgotten.

Overall, this is a wonderful letter. It is well written and persuasive enough to have me thinking of signing up for classes that before I have never thought.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Balloonarama!"

259

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3759647

Review of The Messenger

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

R. Walter Smith

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

The Messenger

(13+)
A formless messenger from beyond the stars comes to a tiny blue speck in space...
#1653370 by R. Walter Smith

A wonderful tale of intelligence and the search for life in this vast universe. Would we know intelligence if we saw it? If we were searching, or they, were searching, what would intelligent life look like? This is the question put to test by this story. It is an interesting question and the story puts a nice spin on the answer.

~writing in agony...(should be) writhing in agony...
~Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Avoid beginning a new sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for,and,nor,but,or,yet,so). Coordinating conjunctions should be used for connecting between items of the same class within a sentence. In formal or academic writing situations, in particular, they should not be used to introduce a new sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

Overall, I think this is well written. The story is an eye opener and puts things in perspective as well as being a thought provoking piece.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

260

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3759510

Review of The Ghostly Heart

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

BD Mitchell

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

I review six items a week for the aforementioned group. Sometimes, I review more. Having already filled my quota for the week, I came upon this title, and simply could not resist entering another review.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

The Ghostly Heart

(13+)
It's up to professional wizard Michael Reeve to uproot a cranky old poltergeist.
#1821886 by BD Mitchell

In the realm of wizards and magic, ghostly apparitions often take to haunting houses. Normally this isn't a huge problem, unless you come upon a cantankerous ghost who is beginning to do harm to others.

This is a story of a wizard whose mission is to dispel a ghost from an abandoned house. Can he succeed, and if so, will he be harmed in the process?

Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Avoid beginning a new sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for,and,nor,but,or,yet,so). Coordinating conjunctions should be used for connecting between items of the same class within a sentence. In formal or academic writing situations, in particular, they should not be used to introduce a new sentence. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

One question bothered me, if the house was condemned and overdue for demolition, who cared if a ghost lived in it and haunted it. There is no real reason given, as to why it was important that the ghost be dispelled from the premises. How was he harming others? Or was simply his presence enough of a distraction that it drew others like him? I am not convinced there was ample reason to get rid of him, unless all ghosts must go...in which case more needs said on the subject of WHY this must take place.

I liked how the house is personified with voice and action. The way this is told, is somewhat believable for a fantasy piece and this makes it all the more appealing. I can imagine the squeaking and the creaking as being sounds of communication from a house, or ghost.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

261

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3759294

Review of When I see you again...

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Bikerider

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

I am reviewing this item for the coloring the world contest hosted by SHERRI GIBSON

. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

When I see you again...

(E)
He peered through the window, the future filling his thoughts.
#1890245 by Bikerider

This story had tears in my eyes and I couldn't answer to others why, because I was so choked up. A story that moves the reader is a fantastic accomplishment.
With attention to detail, you hold the hand and lead the reader into the emotions of a young couple and help them to show the heart.

You captured the heart and soul of the prompt and delivered a fabulous masterpiece.
The grammar, spelling and punctuation were all in order. I enjoyed reading this as it sparked an emotional and physical reaction.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Balloonarama!"

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

262

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3758009

Review of What is love, Daddy?

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "♥Bear Hugs Delivery Request♥"

[E]

"What is love, Daddy?"

~ Santa Sisco ~

This is review 5# of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

This is one of your reviews coming to you from "♥Bear Hugs Delivery Request♥"

. We hope you have enjoyed the attention you are receiving from the package you won. Keep an eye on your email for more goodies.

I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

The title of the poem spelled it out plain and clear for me. I was interested on how the father would respond, and that was a great hook to get me to read te poem.

Thoughts on emotion and imagery:

The image that came into mind was one that was precious and something that should be cherished. The memories of a father and daughter, and the special bond they share.

Outstanding questions or issues:

This is a well written piece. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

No, this is well written and was a joy to read.

My overall thoughts:

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

263

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3757315

Review of TEENAGE MOTHER

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Just Because I Want To Review from"JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

!

Dear Itchy Water~fictionandverse

A lot can be said for you daredevils that take on this fifty five word contest entry. It isn't easy to tell a tale with such a short word count. I find it commendable and a worthy task.

They do say that less is more and with this piece I can see the relevance of the statement. This is a full tale wrapped up in a few lines. I like the way that these short pieces can be used as launches for novels.

I think that this could be made to be more of a personable piece if you give the main character of name, instead of saying "the mother".

Overall this short piece is sound. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This would make a nice intro into a novel. It is a good hook.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

264

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3757298

Review of Raffle For Writers

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Just Because I Want To Review from"JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

!

This package consists of two reviews, and awardicon and a cnote with 1000GPs. You are receiving this package as the day 5 random drawing winner at "Balloonarama!"

Dear Itchy Water~fictionandverse

Raffle For Writers

(E)
A raffle supporting contests and groups that encourage us to grow as writers.
#1825335 by Itchy Water~fictionandverse

The lead in to the raffle is a great introduction. It gives the many reasons one would want to buy raffle tickets, as well as suggesting to others some more inventive ways to use raffle tickets.

The various color schemes make this easy to follow. Having attractive coloring for the individualized parts, is easy navigation and helps to keep track of everything.

I almost wonder if the breakdown of the pot should have its own color as well, to help to better showcase the recipients of the raffle.

This looks to be a fun event and I hope this public review draws some attention your way.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

265

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3756870

Review of THE "WAY-LAID" FARMER

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]

"THE "WAY-LAID" FARMER"

This is review 2# of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. Each week, the individual members pick six items to review, or more, for group credit.

I am stopping in your port today, because I found you in a new authors list. I was eager to see what you had in your port and this caught my eye.

I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

An intriguing title that makes one pause to think. I simply couldn't pass up a chance to review such as this. Tied in well with the poem in such a way as to compliment the poem in such a way I was smiling.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

The farmer, such a hard worker, can not believe his eyes. He didn't give up hope when the crops weren't as bountiful as they should have been, so he did what must be done to make the ends meet.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

The nymph at the door knew what she was doing when she questioned the farmer about his wares. The sweet ripe peach was tantalizing and titillating.

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

HOT DIGGITY DOG IT DID. Had me laughing and waking up the house at three in the morning, and that was before I even had my first sip of

.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, I will keep my eyes peeled for the contest you refer to. This little ditty had me laughing out loud and I really enjoyed the visuals this created. I could picture it well.

I read this twice, and that was because I was going to comment about a rhyme couplet being slightly off, so when I went back to look at it, I realized I just hadn't had my coffee yet, and all was in perfect synchronicity.

So, I read the poem a third time, and it didn't fail to bring me a smile a third time. A well written poem. I truly enjoyed this experience. Thank you once again for sending me some humor and whit.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

266

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3756017

Review of Loss of Control

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

[E]

"Loss of Control"

Nixie

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

The title fits the item, however the subtitle does not. What was the mistake the mother makes? She had been doing this for 3 years, so the wording on the subtitle is misleading.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

I am confused by Terry's actions and can not understand the why's as to what she has been doing. However this is actually true to life and is an event that unfolds very similar to the way it is depicted here. I have seen it countless times, in a grocery store with very similar circumstances.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

The secondary characters are the family. They are the reasons she uses for not wanting to get caught, however they are also the reason she does what she is doing. I feel she is trying to get caught. Why else would she do it?

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

The pace and flow fit this rather nicely. Nothing was hurried or rushed and it all unfolded true to life.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

It's hard to say what contest this was for, however it could have been for the site contest. If you find a contest you like, copy the link and save it in your notebook for easy referencing.

I did find the additional spacing between paragraphs a bit distracting, and would suggest you tighten it up to enhance the reading experience.

My overall thoughts:

Overall this was a great story to read. I found the character to be believable and yet intriguing. I work in an industry and area with high theft. We often come across instances as this where the perpetrator then wishes to pay for the product, after the fact. Even though I work in retail, groceries, one shopping cart can hold over $500 worth of merchandise. It is a growing problem. We see and catch all walks of life living out the same scenario as written here, and I still don't know why they do it.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

267

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3755362

Review of The First Wal*Mart on Mars

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

[E]

"The First Wal*Mart on Mars"

♥Hooves♥

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from this campfire:

From the title and subtitle I knew I was in for a treat. Realizing that this would be written from many different perspectives and authors, I kept that in mind while reviewing.

From sesame street to star trek, the cows are in for a ride as they traverse the universe and head for mars. This fabulous piece had me laughing in hysterics at the lines and choices each author chose. The calls were coming in from all over the ship and each person stayed in character as they revealed their bit of the tale.

My overall thoughts:

I enjoyed reading this and am happy to place an award on it.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

268

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3755323

Review of The Night I Ate My Words

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]

"The Night I Ate My Words"

♥Hooves♥

A deluxe read all about it package from "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

in recognition of the day 3 random drawing at "Balloonarama!"

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

Since I know the writer, I half expected a tale of a bovine, and had to go solve the mystery. I was pleasantly surprised that I let this tale take me away with laughter and mirth. I enjoyed reading this piece. The humor and whit entailed were worth the time.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

A bovine that writes is an interesting visual. I can only imagine the keyboard necessary for the animals that write. Though the keyboard I am used to gets some good use, I bet the one's at the library have seen some animals of a rare breed.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

Bessie is a friend of Hooves. In fact, if I haven't already sent it, I have a picture or image, from when they were children. I might still need to send that one. Let me know if I haven't sent it, and I will get it right to you. Bessie is very sensible and has sound advice. She is able to asses the situation quite quickly and come back with a fast answer.

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

The story moved along quite well. It was fluid and I didn't have any difficulty getting through it. The transition from piece to piece was smooth and nothing felt rushed or hurried.

Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:

Stuck in the library, Hooves must rely on his friend for help. Not sure what to do about the situation, he calls his friend, and follows her advise, though Hooves is unsure of the reasoning as to why. Soon enough, the answer bites Hooves in the tail, or mouth I should say.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, a great story that had humor and friendship, loyalty and devotion. I was glad I chose this item to read and am happy to say it made me smile.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

269

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3755270

Review of Notebooks Left Unhidden

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

A Review For You in connection with "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

[E]

"Notebooks Left Unhidden"

Nixie

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

An appropriate title, though I didn't find it alluring on its own. The subtitle however held more of a mystery and brought me running to see what goodies I would find hiding in this story.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

The voice of a writer eager to get out, this is about the child and how his writing developed, as he discovered his way to escape from the life he was in. This is a fun adventure, though sad at the same time. The warmth is in finding the hope and spark that keeps the voice warm.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

I found the mother to be lacking in emotion. Though this paints her in a not so favorable light, I feel she did have her concerns, and she did her best. Perhaps she couldn't or wouldn't understand a child so different from others, who wanted and needed to live and breath the written word, their written word. To live the story, to make the story, to be the story, this was the passion of the child of which the mother could not relate and therefore found lacking.

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

This was well written and had a great flow. There were no places that caused me to pause. I read this through three times to make sure I didn't miss anything, and enjoyed it each time.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, a great piece, I am glad I stopped in.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

270

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3754820

Review of Moon Story

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "

[E]

"Moon Story"

Amay

You have been selected for review by me, due to your entry in the contest at "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED "

. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

The title was intriguing. I found myself wondering what the two had to do with each other. Perhaps the two together are intertwined in a story that will bring even the toughest of giants, a tear in the eye.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

At times, I found it hard to determine if the main character was the child, or the moon. I found as I read, that the child was the main character, and the moon was the lullaby or secondary character.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

The moon was the force that held the mystery and intrigue in the story. Though the mystery and intrigue were basically surrounding the moons existence and how it seemed to keep time with the birth.

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

The pace and flow were easy and light like a lullaby sent to soothe the child. It was poetic in nature and derived from the heart, as the story is told from the dad's viewpoint.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

This is well written. I did notice a few places that could use some work:
~ when you snuggling snuggle...
~When you finally decided to come and join us as the moon seemed to lift off of the water and into the heavens.(incomplete sentence)

Other than the above mentioned, the spelling and punctuation appear to be in order, though I would check with someone else on the comma usage. I am not well schooled in that area.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, I enjoyed the sweet story. A great entry.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

271

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3753704

Review of I'm Okay

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

"I'm Okay"

Vivian

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

It is funny, how many people often ask, in the course of a day, just how a person is doing, but don't really stop to see the answer. Many gloss over it as if it is something that must be asked, but they don't really want to know the answer to it.

This short piece is an eye opener. From reading this, I can see you aren't a complainer. Those of us that know you, seldom here of these inflictions and how they interfere with your everyday life. Many who have never experienced any of these, will never truly understand the depth of pain you are in. Some may even look and wonder how much is an act. I can tell you, reading this top to bottom, I can relate to this piece on a level most will never be able to fathom.

You remind me of my grandmother. Someone who continues on, never voicing a bad thought, simply doing what needs to be done, to care for the two of you. Seldom asking for help, you will plug away at the task until you get it done.

As I read this piece, I could find no errors with it. It is very well written. The grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order. The story read as if you and I were here in conversation. This is effortless to read, and is an
encouragement and inspiration to many.

"Invalid Item"

"Balloonarama!"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

272

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3753027

Review of The Bone Shadows Ring

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (2.5)

Nephiliem

This is bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

At your request, I am here to review for you. I see that there are currently four chapters residing within this book. I will start with this cover page, and work my way inward.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing your work to be reviewed. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

The Bone Shadows Ring

(13+)
A story based in the World Of Darkness game White Wolf Publishing Inc
#1864542 by Nephiliem

This outlines the idea behind the book, and the origins from which this idea is derived. It has a sense of mystery and a great title. I am not sure the reference in the title to the White Wolf Publishing Inc, but it must hold some semblence of relativity.

Something to notice, this has no rating. If you need assistance with this, please visit "Content Rating System (CRS)"

for help with Content Rating.

There are many grammatical issues with the beginning piece.
~In you your world...
~ Manley Mainly because...
~is a world power...
~brake down breakdown ...
~ humans will believe...
~scene sense of security.
~ The World of darkness world to create a story (capitalize the whole title)

The lead in to the story has intrigued me, despite the issues at hand. I am curious as to what I will find inside, especially since I have never heard of the publishing company listed, nor the book, game, or title it is derived from.

"Invalid Item"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Delivering a review from Simply Positive!

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

273

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3751998

Review of HASTA LUEGO--award winner

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Dr M C Gupta

This is review 5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

You entered the 94th round at "Invalid Item"

. This means that I am here to review your entry. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

HASTA LUEGO--award winner

(E)
Beloved bids farewell to the lover called to the battlefield.
#712329 by Dr M C Gupta

A freestyle rhyming poem, this is a poem that speaks to me of sadness and love, respect and adoration. This is meant to declare the love, and yet in the same instance show support and strength.

In support of the love, there is no deciding factor as to who is leaving and who is staying. What I mean to say, is that this is a poem that transcends genders and can fit into any situation.

Overall this is a great poem. I liked the overall emotion that pulls through each line. The support given by the voice of the poem is realistic and very endearing. That draws me to the poem.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Balloonarama!"

Image #1642111 over display limit. -?-

274

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3748653

Review of Desolate

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Dear C. T. Hill

,

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

Desolate

(13+)
The world changes... we can but change with it.
#1881844 by C. T. Hill

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

An intriguing title that sparks interest and lures in the reader. This is complimentary with the storyline.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

This is well written. I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. It was easy to read and follow without any distractions.

My overall thoughts:

This was a thrilling and suspenseful piece that had me on the edge of my seat in contemplation and eagerness to find out what would happen next. The sequence of events moves fast and we experience this as one of the characters, through this well told story. I liked the twists and turns this takes. It makes you keep to your wits and stay focused so as not to lose site of what is happening.

This is such that it could easily be used to create a novel, based on this storyline.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

275

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3748645

Review of Death is Only a Bullet Away - (Re-Write)

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Dear Shawlyn

,

This is a bonus review for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"

. Thanks for entering! This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest, as well as for me to read each entry and place my decision in with the others . We thank you for your continued support.

I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading your piece. Remember, I am but the reader, the story is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

Death is Only a Bullet Away - (Re-Write)

(13+)
Private investigator looking into Industrial Espionage
#1881803 by Shawlyn

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

An interesting title that speaks adventure.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

A man on a mission, pain is only an obstacle he must overcome. Searching for the perpetrator of his shooting becomes his next obstacle to hurdle.

What impact do the secondary characters have?

The two secondary characters, brothers, hired Taylor to investigate their company. Only in doing so, a mystery is unraveled and result in an attack on Taylor.

How do I feel about the pace, did it fit the genre?

Though this moves fast, I didn't feel any suspense or thrill. I did find the mystery in finding who did it, but there was no true suspense, hanging on the edge of your seat thrill.

Outstanding questions or issues:

~firstly~ used two times to many...it doesn't sound right...how about first of all...
though, I did look it up, and firstly is in the dictionary, it just sounds offbeat and detracts from the read.

~how likely is it that with a fragment of a bullet still near a lung he would be released the same day? I had to go look it up. Though a time from for release wasn't mentioned, it is mentioned that many individuals have bullets or fragments still in their persons without repercussions.

~from a much bigger man.

Other than the three items, the rest of the story seemed to flow flawlessly without grammar, spelling or punctuation errors.

My overall thoughts:

Overall a decent detective story. I could see this playing out much like the "Law and Order" television series.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .