*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/whome/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
4,509 Public Reviews Given
4,699 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle* A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle*





created by legerdemain


Oldwarrior

This is review #6 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

*Burstb* Pieter is quickly becoming an important piece on the chessboard as the story around him gets more complicated. This newest development concerning the Frei Folk and the Tír na nÓg show that the story has many twists and turns. As one leader is struck down, another will rise to take his place. What kind of leader will he be, and what new challenges will he face?

*Burstv* This wasn't the turn of events I was foreseeing as Pieter walked off into the woods with Aideen. A story can get stale if it becomes too predictable and I am happy to report that this story has a new twist and turn at each step that keeps the reader engaged and eager to read on. Great Job!

lonewolfmcq


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
52
52
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle* A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle*





created by legerdemain


Oldwarrior

This is review#5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

*Burstb*As I continue to read on through the story I find that the plot thickens as the queen makes her move to take control of the kingdom. Her cunning and conniving ways show no mercy as she takes extra precautions to prevent anyone from knowing she is behind all of the deviant scheming currently unfolding. I didn't suspect the queen right off and in fact thought I might have admired her. Now that more has come to light I find myself wondering what lows she will dip to next.

*Burstv* Sir Thoragild is a noble and honorable friend to the throne. His allegiance to the king shines through as he is quick to provide council when the king attempts to make hasty decisions. His loyalty through to the end goes shows his character true to the end.

*Burstp*As the plot thickens to further implicate Pieter Schermon, Thoragild is becoming ever aware of the dangers unfolding and exactly who is beyond the plot. Whether or not he can stop it is yet to be seen.

*Burstg* This was a great chapter. The action was swift and the outcome left you wondering "what now" so that you had to continue on. Spot on!



lonewolfmcq


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle* A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle*






created by legerdemain



Oldwarrior

This is review #3 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

*Shield7* Its 3 am and here you have me so enraptured with this tale that I can't seem to stop reading, even long enough to get in a decent review. This chapter holds mystery and circumstance, strength and weakness. It is compelling me forward to move on to the next chapter.

*Shield9* Analia's strong will is a perfect match for Nania and I have the feeling that the two of them will become great friends and conspirators in the end.

As for the Apothecarius, I fear he may have done a quick brain scan with his mental telepathic powers and discovered some hidden truths that are sure to be a thorn in one Queen's side. Which queen though is yet to be determined.

Another great chapter in a wonderful novel, of which I can't quit reading.




lonewolfmcq


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
54
54
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle* A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle*





created by legerdemain


Oldwarrior

This is review #2 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

*Shield7*What a turn of events. I didn't see half of this coming. Somehow I thought the queen was one of the good guys. Man, does her true color shine in this chapter. In fact, just about every character did a flip here. WELL, not quite. Somehow I saw the queen as the smart one, the King as the dimwit, and I see now I was too quick to judge a book by its cover. So very misleading indeed.

In this chapter we find how the Queen is the mastermind behind a lot of the trouble going on in the kingdom. She covets something and then makes the plans and arrangements to get it, no matter the cost or not. She could care less that an innocent family is split apart and half of them killed, all so she can gain a small piece of property she has had her pretty little eye on. Not to mention the fact she may have been partially behind the kidnapping of her own son. If not, she knows where he is now, but is choosing to keep that information to herself as well as planning to mislead another king. Boy she is twisted isn't she. How did I miss this in the beginning?

Overall this is a great chapter free of error as far as I could see. Almost a quarter to three and I will at least get the next chapter read before bedtime. Hugs to you.

lonewolfmcq


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
55
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle* A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*CastleB* *CastleGr* *Castle*






created by legerdemain



Oldwarrior

This is review #1 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 

*Shield7* You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  . Each week, the individual members pick six items to review, or more, for group credit.

I am stopping in your port today, because I found the first few chapters to be so captivating that I can't quit thinking about the story and must read it to the end, thus I am on chapter four already.

I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
  I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

*Shield1* Another great chapter in the tale of The Lone Traveler. This is filled with new characters and background which build on the story and add mystery and depth. This chapter feels like it is a story within a story. The three main characters in this chapter hold a bond like no other and as the story develops, I feel the three of them will have ups and downs, challenges to overcome and adventures to go on, starting with reporting to the capital.

*Shield10* I fear Aloise will be giving his share of trouble to Sean and the others soon enough, that is, if Pieter can survive the dungeons that have swallowed him up unexpectedly.

*Shield2* The end of paragraph two has a quick typo:
an estate of his on. own.


*Shield3* Overall this was a great chapter. I didn't think I could become any more involved into the story than I already was, but this has captivated me like no other, and once again it is 2am and I am reviewing for you...



lonewolfmcq


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
56
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*





Delivering a review from Simply Positive!


Oldwarrior

This is review #9 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* Did I mention it is almost 2 am, and I work two jobs, and yet, here I am reading and ready for the next chapter...too cruel. I am going to have to stop for a few hours before I can return again and continue on.

*Burstv* It seems to me that I missed something. As we end this chapter, the mystery surrounding Analia and how or why she is different is somewhat revealed, but it leaves you asking so many questions you can't get to the next chapter fast enough.

*Burstp*This was a very revealing chapter. As more of the landscape and characters are brought into the story, the kingdom and its surrounding neighbors show their part in the grand scheme of things. What has become of the prince? Was he with the horses below?

*Burstg*Another well written piece. I did have one train of thought here...
ACTION WORDS ~besides~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being a word of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, afterward, inward, downward, backward, outward, and toward, to name a few. The exception to this is that the British do add the "s" and in so doing are correct for their proper language. So if this is a British writing, then please disregard the comments as coming from this ignorant American *Wink*


*Burstb*OVERALL A FANTASTIC STORY...READING ON




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
57
57
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+
*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*





Delivering a review from Simply Positive!


Oldwarrior

This is review #8 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* After reading the first chapter, I had to come investigate the rest of the story. This is one that had me captivated from the beginning. Unfortunately with time as it is, two other stories held my attention as well and I didn't want to confuse the stories, so switched to reading one at a time.

I am glad you changed the location of the chapters. They took me a while to find the first time, but then once I mentioned it and went back, they are standing strong and proud out where everyone can find them easily.

I won't promise you a thorough detail by detail review, I am too anxious to read the story. I can promise you I will read each chapter at least twice and let you know what I like and if I find any areas that might need touched up.

*Burstb* When I read the chapter for the first time, I thought the degree of torture put forth to the prisoner was a bit much, and wondered why he didn't spill his guts a little sooner. However, after reading this a few more times, it makes sense. Who wants to mess with magic? Sometimes it is the fear of the unknown that is the scariest of all and I think you nailed that here in this chapter.

Also in this chapter we learn a bit about the terrain and the bordering armies as well as allies and the partnership between the king and queen. A well thought out chapter that is fast paced and kept my attention. Great job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
58
58
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 15 - Miracles" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*




Delivering a review from Simply Positive!




This is review #7 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* Gen is tired of fighting, tired of it all and he has found one who can take them on with as much grit and more than he can ever provide. With Auria as his protege, Gen draws the fire from champions as he leads us into this next chapter. He is there to protect Auria and to ensure she succeeds in taking out all of the others. Well played Master Gen.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
59
59
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 14 - My Bad" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*




Delivering a review from Simply Positive!


RodneyGray

This is review #6 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* Time has caught up to them as Gen, Auria and Gen238 have been called out for cheating, due to one to many mentors for the arena. Thus Gen offers himself up to the arena for the battle. Does this mean Auria will then have to fight Gen in the end? Many questions ahead as we travel on to the final chapter.

I get the impression that Gen has done this many times before, fight in or helped others fight, in the arena, so why didn't he mention that one of them was risking a life to be there?

This has been a fun journey and I look forward to the final chapter.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
60
60
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*



Delivering a review from Simply Positive!


RodneyGray

This is review #5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* An unexpected teammate arises as Auria's character takes lead of the battle. Her instincts take control as she offers to help another opponent in order for the both of them to make it through the battle.

As the fighting ensues, Auria makes her first kill. The ability to keep a straight head during the process shows how much control she has.
Another well written chapter.






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
61
61
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Ladybug* *Ladybug* *Ladybug*






Delivering a review from Simply Positive!


RodneyGray

This is review #2 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* As the battle ensues, Gen and his counterpart vie to be the one helping Auria. The technology used in the arena is something that allows the master and the participant to link up and team together to conquer the battle.

It is clear that Gen has changed his mind and wants Auria to win the tournament instead of losing it. He prefers to get her out safely. His feelings for Auria have grown despite the way he acts toward her.

Gen doesn't mind resorting to alternative techniques to help Auria win and in the end, it results in Gen 238 taking over as partner in the battle.

Again well written and free of error.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
62
62
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 11 - Sora" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





WhoMe has lots of heart.


RodneyGray
This is review #1 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* I am on my second week of reading these chapters and with each day I learn a little more about Gen and get inside his head. He is upset to be where they are, but then again he is eager to participate in some of the proceedings. This is a chapter that transports us in location, and is very well written. New characters are introduced with the new scenery and life is about to get very exciting.






Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
63
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 10 - Too Late" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


RodneyGray
This is review #2 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* Reading on to chapter 10 we discover that Auria is studying hard. She is training to be an elite warrior with an ultimate purpose and Gen, her master, is disappointed with the direction her training has taken. You can not match reality vs computer based training. There is an element missing when using computers that doesn't prepare you for the real thing.

*Bursty*This action packed piece demonstrates that though Auria is doing well in her studies, the master feels she is learning nothing other than to defeat a computer.

*Burstp*Gen is beginning to crumble or come apart at the seams. His disregard for who or what may be watching is concerning and is a turning point in the story.

This chapter is well written. I didn't notice anything to comment upon as far as grammar, spelling or punctuation to assist the piece along. Great work.





Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
64
64
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


RodneyGray
This is review #1 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV*I hope you find the review useful if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Bursty* Having read the previous 8 chapters, I find this to be a well written piece. Here we capture Auria's humanity as she faces Gen and ultimately delivers the final blow. Her regret and anguish at what he allowed her to do is overwhelming.

Was his sadness and sorrow so great that he felt death was the ultimate price he must pay to amend for what he had done to her? This chapter is one that leaves you wondering, "how did that happen?" You didn't see it coming, as you expected Gen to deliver a further lesson, and not capitulate. Was this the lesson of loss, or a lesson in doing what must be done at any cost? Is Gen truly gone, and if so, what happens now?

*Burstp*I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. A wonderful piece that has me heading on to the next chapter.





Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
65
65
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Monkey* *Monkey* *Monkey*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*Monkey* *Monkey* *Monkey*





animation experiment


RodneyGray

This is review #13 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstb* I had a hard time trying to figure out Master Gen. As I read the third paragraph, the voice starts out strong, and filters to weak. It is almost as if you can see the shift in power from him to her, and yet, it doesn't feel right. It is almost as if he is seeing his failures, and yet, that isn't what this is. He would be stronger than this I feel, and question who "she is" to question his lessons and techniques. Too little has happened to give her the upper hand, it is as if he is handing it to her. He won in the arena, so he is the all powerful person and yet here is this young girl that takes it all away in a matter of what feels like one day.

*Burstv* . A few younglings shown up late for the gathering. Short rows in white formed in the rear, where Auria backed up to join the younglings.
These two sentences are off and maybe it is due to one missing word, had as in "had shown up". Other than that I can not think of a thing to make it work, other than to rewrite the two sentences completely.

*Burstp*The shift in power felt odd, and yet, it wasn't in its totality, it was as if there was a point that yes, she is a quick study, but, she also has a lot to learn. I don't think that was made clear here. I feel that is the point, but nothing definitive points to that.

*Burstg*Overall a great chapter, but I felt it was a little rushed and through the characters into a spin. It left me feeling as if my mind was trying to wrap around what was happening, since it was all so sudden and yet, didn't quite feel believable. I get the points being made and see them in the conclusion, but don't feel it is an easy delivery that makes sense. Could be I need more coffee I guess, because overall I got the point and am continuing on to the next chapter.






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
66
66
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 7 - The Gift" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*






Animated Penguin Simply Positive review signature


RodneyGray
This is review #12 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*Burstv* Continuing on with the story, this chapter brings us to a new level of ascension as Auria finds herself now in control. There is discontent among the others as some feel the Master has gone too far with his training.

With her new title, Auria wastes no time in taking control. What does this mean for the training facility now that Auria has the reigns, and what are the others training for?

This is a fast paced story that seems to leave a lot of room for addition. A whole chapter or two before this point needs inserted to explain what the "clones" are doing there, their purpose and the purpose of the facility to begin with.

The fact that the arena is there to train those to fight for the "All-Wisdom" is given, but does leave one to wonder more about this race and how Gen's winning in the arena laid waste to the human race. I think a full chapter giving more details about this is needed. Why did they search out humans? They found a human who won in an entertainment arena of theirs, and therefore felt humans were superior to what exactly?

I think we also need to hear more about how the others feel Gen went too far. What did he do to go too far, kill her? Yet she has arisen from death. Was the training too much too fast?

I found upon reading this chapter, after reading the others, that I had more questions and put them all here.







Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





An animated Simply Positive skunk signature


RodneyGray
This is review #11 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV*As the relationship between master and student progresses, Auria becomes more outspoken as she has a boldness about her that demands attention. Gen realizes his role and yet he allows her a certain amount of leeway.

The training begins and she is not "told" how to do things, so much as she is given in to experience them first hand with her borderline impertinent questioning. Her impatience brings her lessons in reality.


*Bursty* A great chapter that I could see nothing to add to. This helps to lay down the foundation of the relationship between student and teacher. It will be interesting to see how this progresses from here.





Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
68
68
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 5 - How" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


RodneyGray
This is review #10 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* Now we get to the heart of the story. We know WHY the master is training her, and what for, but WHY her? What makes her so special to have been chosen? I am sure this will be revealed later, but it is the question I am asking myself after reading this.

*Bursty* This was a quick chapter. A show of defiance by Auria and then a show of strength by the master as he puts her back into her place. Auria needs to know that this is for her own protection and unless she concentrates and begins to take notice of her surroundings and how she can use this training to her advantage, she is in for a real defeat.

*Burstp*Auria is no coward. She can take on the world and has the confidence to do so. Right now, the master is the world that needs putting in its place and in this chapter she attempts to do that, only to be knocked down a notch. This doesn't deter her though. It shows her tenacity and her determination as she searches for a way to strike back at the master as he leaves.

This is a well written chapter that I could see nothing that needed changing.









Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
69
69
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 4 - Why?" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


RodneyGray
This is review #8 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV*I hope you find the review useful if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Bursty* At long last we get to see some of Auria's true nature. She is strong willed, but undisciplined. She is angry and lashes out at the master though she knows her enemy is not him.

*Burstp*The second sentence begins,"Each of them felt so familiar toward the Master" then goes on to describe how they were standing and facial features. The word "felt" feels wrong here. There is not enough time lapse for her to have feelings one way or the other, but she can notice or comment or be shocked by the resemblance to the master.

*Burstg* I found a few places where words were missing or there were too many, as listed below:

~ gently wringing his hands.
~ He closed his eyes and took...
~What if I tell said you are...

*Burstb*Overall, a great chapter that just needs some small fine tuning. We begin to see why Auria is where she is and what she must do. The story unfolds as we dig deeper into who she is and what she is suppose to do.



FORUM
The Treasure Chest  (E)
closed due to lack of participation
#1408837 by ~WhoMe???~


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
70
70
Review of Auria  
for entry "Chapter 3 - Trouble" 
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


RodneyGray
This is review #7 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 
. I hope you find the review useful if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.


*Bursty* Auria must learn to comply or face the consequences. Who has the stronger will? If she complies, what fate is in store for her? These are the choices and more that Auria must struggle with while in the confines of the encasement.

*Burstp*In this chapter we learn a bit more about Auria's character. She is stubborn, but sees the strength and wisdom into complying to get out of the current predicament. She is a quick study and yet, she also has an impulsive side that we have yet to see if will be tamed, tempered, or released.

*Burstg* I found the ending to be a good doorway to the next chapter. It leads us to believe there will be trouble due to her being the only female. Will she be thwarting off unwanted advances, or fighting extra hard to prove she is as good as all the others there?

I didn't notice any editing points to remark upon, this is well written, and I will continue on.



FORUM
The Treasure Chest  (E)
closed due to lack of participation
#1408837 by ~WhoMe???~


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
71
71
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


Oldwarrior
This is review #1 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV*
I think I might have first noticed this in my notifications list and opened it earlier in the day to read. The husband came home and daily tasks prevented me from finishing this tale, and now that I have, I want the rest of the story. Listed as Chapter1, I will have to search out more since I see it was written many months ago.

*Bursty*From the verbiage with dialect intertwined with the creatures of the story, I loved every inch of this tale. Immediately I was thrown into a world of faced paced action and hard reality. The pace was quick, but not so fast as to leave holes or questions, which means it is very well written.

*Burstp*I think my favorite part of this story was when the dragons entered the scene. From the first moment they are mentioned, I am hooked and there is no going back for me. This is an adventure that has twists and turns at every corner and delivers a stellar fantasy for our enjoyment.

*Burstg* I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors to comment upon. This is well written and a joy to read.




FORUM
The Treasure Chest  (E)
closed due to lack of participation
#1408837 by ~WhoMe???~


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
72
72
Review of Triple Danger  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





created by legerdemain


BIG BAD WOLF is hopping
This is review #5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* I am reviewing this item as part of the package you won over at {Item:}. I hope you find the review useful if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Bursty* I am very impressed with this story. You have done a wonderful job in creating a story with great consequence. This horror piece is one that grabs your attention and keeps you riveted to the page. I don't want to give out any spoilers, but I will say I was pleasantly surprised with the ending. I thought it to be a class act as to how this finishes. Great job!

*Burstp* This was very well written. A story of infidelity and consequence that is delivered with creative flair and style. I enjoyed reading this piece.




FORUM
The Treasure Chest  (E)
closed due to lack of participation
#1408837 by ~WhoMe???~


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
73
73
Review of Zena's Profile  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*





Delivering a review from Simply Positive!


BIG BAD WOLF is hopping
This is review #4 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* I am reviewing this item as part of the package you won over at "New Year's Bash" . I hope you find the review useful if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.


*Bursty*A very interesting dossier or character map of Zena. This tall tale of a character build up was very detailed. I believe this is what is necessary when creating stories, to have a clear picture of who and what your character is. This allows for clearer understanding of characteristics when writing your stories. I found the details quite interesting to say the least.

*Burstp*I did have several questions upon reading this and here are some of them:
~ If she can't tell a lie, how can she tell a tall tale, what is the difference? In theory, aren't they the same thing? Perhaps she is stretching the truth, but isn't that still, in fact, a lie? This leaves room to debate and open discussion.

~The height details are a bit troubling. If she was originally 7 foot, was that at birth? If not, then I gather the average height of a person from this world would be between 5foot and 8foot, gathering that 7 foot is normal. If that be the case, then doorways for these creatures would be built accordingly. If that is the case, then now that she is 30 foot, how can she break into the homes of others as a Security Consultant? She would have a hard time fitting into any structure at that height? Perhaps later in the stories all of this is revealed, but reading this, it seems far fetched and a bit of a stretch on its own.

~ If she has an accelerated healing rate, how can she have arthritis? Arthritis is an immune deficiency disease. It is a defective immune system, so an accelerated healing rate doesn't fit within those parameters.

*Burstg* Overall this is a rough character sketch for a main role in a novel. This creature is one who sleeps easy at night and has a moral code of her own making. I found a few discrepancies which made this troubling. Too many contradictions to be believable. WEll, only three major ones, but I am sure that could be sorted out.

This is an indepth view into a character that is sure to be the lead in this upcoming novel.






FORUM
The Treasure Chest  (E)
closed due to lack of participation
#1408837 by ~WhoMe???~


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
74
74
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*






Delivering a review from Simply Positive!



This is review #6 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* As I continue this story, there is a sense of a test, as if Auria has a destiny to fulfill and she is being sent out to see how she does in different situations. It is obvious she has great flexibility and those who are watching continue to put her in constraints of one form or another to inhibit her movements and watch her resourcefulness.

*Burstv* As we venture further into the story, Auria's strengths are slowly revealed. We learn more of her character and see how her mind works. She is a fierce opponent as she doesn't give up easily. She is compassionate in chapter one, and uses her resources around her to think her way to a better position in whatever lay ahead of her, whether it is to stand on a chair rather than dangle, or balance on a beam so that she can see all coming her way and have an advantage, Auria doesn't give up when she first fails. This chapter is learning more about Auria.

*Burstp*Also in this chapter we learn of new characters and their role in this story is slow to unfold. We learn of a master and two subordinates, one male and the other female, who sometimes forgets her place.

By the hand of the master, Auria is now tested and put in her place until she can conform to some sense of manners to fit in within their guidelines. It is yet to see if she will bend to their will, or if she is stubborn and can see no other way but her own. This will further show us her character and give us more insight into who Auria is.

*Burstg* I didn't notice any grammatical errors, as well as punctuation or capitalization to comment upon. One last side note for Chapter one that I left out was that blood, does it smell sweet or metallic? It tastes metallic, but does it have a sweet smell?




 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2067471 by Not Available.


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
75
75
Review of Auria  
Review by ~WhoMe???~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*A Review For You in connection with "Simply Positive Review Forum "  [E]*PoseyB**PoseyV**PoseyP*


*Vine2*"Auria" *Vine1*



created by legerdemain


RodneyGray
This is review #5 of 6 for "Simply Positive Review Forum " 


*BurstV* You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted by me for a review in conjunction with "Simply Positive Review Forum " . Each week, the individual members pick six items to review, or more, for group credit.
I hope you find the review useful if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

*Burstv* From the opening sentence to the ending actions, I was captivated and eager to read on. The fact that I have stopped to review this opening piece is almost annoying as my mind says read on, but my heart tells me to stop, review, then proceed forward, so as to allow my mind to reflect on what has happened rather than to rush forward and perhaps miss something of importance.

*Burstp*From this first piece I feel that this is one of those books you can't put down. You want to get absorbed into the pages and lose track of all else. Being transported to another time, perhaps in the near future, this piece gives one time to reflect on what has been and what may be to come.

*Burstg*The fast paced action in this chapter get the story going in a hurry and keeps the reader's attention. There wasn't a single spot I stopped and questioned an action or reaction.

*Burstb*This is a well written piece. The grammar, spelling and punctuation all appear to be in order. I had nothing I was able to add to the story, but I am sure taking away a lot and hope to get lost in these pages later on. Thank you for sharing. This would be a good chapter to submit in the Anthology listed below.



 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2067471 by Not Available.


Image #1630870 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1,437 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 58 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/whome/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3