One suggestion that I have is that instead of the line 'standing like the soldiers' you could put 'standing as sentinels'. In general, I really enjoyed reading this poem. Well done.
Well done. I enjoyed this. Have you chosen which you will live out? This is indeed how many live their lives, afraid of how others perceive them. So, they place masks over their true selves until their true self is so deeply hidden it is almost forgotten. Don't let it happen to you...
This is a very positive outlook after describing such devastation. I cannot fully share in it since my home country may also suffer. However, it's well written and has a great twist at the end.
I enjoyed this. It's well written and flows well. The milkweed pods remind me of winter in Maine...before it sets on full force! The line 'Crackling dried leaves', I thought worked well for sensory detail. In terms of alliteration, you had at least two - 'Big black' and 'small stream'. Thanks for sharing! Keep writing!
I enjoyed reading this and am glad that you used words to express your anger and not violence. Pent up anger can lead to bitterness or even violence even from a 'normal' person. Good job. Please keep writing!
I enjoyed the poem. Rich with emotion and true heartfelt love for God and showing the battle between the flesh and the Spirit. It could be refined a bit or you could turn this into a scene where you or someone is musing over how you feel about these things. The struggle is real and He is indeed there to welcome us.
I too struggle with the same feelings of unworthiness as a believer. His blood covers me yet I do not deserve it. What, I think must hurt Him more than any sin is that committed willfully by the Christian who knows Christ's grace. Yet even still, on the cross, He bore that too. He longs to mold us in His image. "Be ye perfect as the Father in Heaven is perfect." God's boundless grace poured out upon me still leaves me in awe of Him. He could have left everyone in sin but would not. Christ became our sacrificial Lamb, shedding His blood for our atonement... He's amazing! However, Paul admonishes "Should we sin more that grace may abound? By no means!" Ephesians 2 is a great passage to read as well as Romans 8. They are very encouraging. Anyway, I hope this helps.
Interesting... Halfway through, I'm reminded of 'Pirates of the Caribbean' with skeletons floating in the salty sea breezes yet you masterfully turn it into a Halloween Evening! Well written!
I noticed several spelling errors. One example of these is, 'temps" which you probrably meant as 'tempts'. In general, I found it good. However, it can be improved, if grammer and spelling were checked beforehand. Other than that, I enjoyed reading it! Keep on writing!
Good Truth and rhyme in this poem about Christ's sacrifice for humanity. It's as if you're describing it from the outside in... Have you ever tried it from the other side as one saved by His grace?
Very intriguing. A few commas could have been included, such as, 'Fire englulfs our towns, Such a beautiful sight' but this poem is quite descriptive. Well done.
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