The catch-all for items related to and/or inspired by the music that shaped me.
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This week's theme: The Precious Few
Well, I didn't see a category like this comin' as part of "The Soundtrack of Your Life Challenge" ...hats off to lizco252 for requiring us to drop the iron sac on the table. Before I get into my entry this afternoon, here's the deal for anyone outside of The Soundtrackers who might be unsure of what is expected of us this week (in Beth's own words):
"These are the songs you always embrace when you need strength or inspiration or comfort or an outlet to just deal. They're songs that make you laugh or smile when you need to, the songs that make you cry when you need to, the songs that help you work through the anger or frustration when you're mad at the world or just plain life itself; the songs that remind you of your greatest loves and passions, or the songs that help you make sense of the world and your place in it."
I started trying to come up with a list last night, and didn't get very far. Some stories are too personal, or still too fresh, or maybe too depressing. And my playlist is full of songs most people are either unfamiliar with or wouldn't get into as it is...how much do I really want to add onto that? On top of that, I don't really have a set playlist of go-to "happy songs" (and I tried once...see "This one's about spirit, a happy playlist, and Tannenbaum!" )...I just don't do strength and growth very well. I generally need angry and/or sad music to release the anger/sadness from within...and sorry/not sorry if that doesn't make sense to you; my head, my heart, my songs.
That said, I'll try not to bum out too many people this week...but no promises. It may not be pretty. Moving on...
Here's something I've noticed this week throughout my travels, and not just in our Soundtracker entries but in blogs and poems all over WDC: the feelings of loneliness; of being lost; not fitting in. And each one breaks my heart a little bit more when think about what I've read so far or see someone else struggling with something they're tired of going through. I wanna grab all of us in one big group hug and drop us down on an island where we'll all have each other and not have to worry about anything else forever. I wanna comfort you, stroke your hair, rub your shoulders, and make the pain stop. I know it's just words on a screen but to you it's real hurt. And you might think you're seeing words back on a screen, but it's a real embrace...of your brain, your soul, wherever you need it most.
And I know I joke around a lot and sometimes I say some really stupid things or tell stories about all the dumb shit I've done, and it's all fun and games (most of the time), but when you're falling apart chances are I could be one of the first people trying to put you back together...because at any time I could be falling apart myself. I know what it's like to let people down and be let down. I've lived through some unimaginable experiences. I've questioned my place many, many times...in school, in families, in life on this planet. I'm still here. You're still here.
The Tragically Hip- "'It's A Good Life If You Don't Weaken'"
"Let's swear that we will get with the times,
in a current health to stay.
Let's get friendship right; get life day-to-day."
This is the reset button for me. This is where I realize that broken can be beautiful, and that I'm not alone. We're all going through something; if not now then in the past, and sometimes it pokes its head up from the shallow grave we thought we buried it in.
See, there's no such thing as "the perfect life". You can't fathom all the beauty until you've seen the disaster it came from. In nature; in ourselves. We weren't all meant to thrive where we were put or with what we were given...but that doesn't mean it's impossible. "Success Stories" don't start out with hard work and a positive attitude...there is despair, loneliness, heartbreak, pain; there is a need for something that we may not even know of or how to grasp it. No one wins the race just by crossing a finish line...some of us are trying to win just by showing up. That's what we need to celebrate more of. It's us who stand to gain the most...when we find our community, our people.
The Tragically Hip- "A Beautiful Thing"
"Your beautiful thing- It'd be a beautiful thing to see that beautiful thing continuing."
And I'm guilty of this. We're all guilty of this...we spend so much time wrapped up in our own heads and our own faults because we need to be, but we tend to forget that there are other people who need our attention, our love, a few kind words...we may not see them as hanging on the branch sticking out of the cliff, but we can unknowingly save them from the suffering a little just by letting them know we care. And it doesn't even have to be anything more than subtle...as long as it comes across that forever won't be the same without.
There are reference points that I can't explain, but I know what I'm trying to say, and that is we must do something to make the world more beautiful if we're gonna continue to be a practicing member of it. Whether it's just holding someone's emotions briefly as if they're your own for their comfort, or answering the proverbial 3am "You better be dyin'- and you were" phone call. We learn more when we're building others up and not tearing them down. In turn, the care you place in other people becomes a little stronger part of your own self...and every one true beautiful thing continues.
At least, this is how I see things. I would rather help others, because I know there are more times than not when I struggle to fit in, and I know how that can lead to isolation and life getting away. All it takes is reaching out to one person, and two people reaching out to two more, and suddenly everyone who doesn't have a place in their respective societies becomes one giant community of people who care about each other in a more powerful regard because no one else paid attention when they may have needed it most. We're the strength now; we're the numbers. And maybe most importantly, we're the people we've always seen ourselves as, and today we're being appreciated by other like-minded individuals who understand us for who we are and what we've been through to get to a certain point...and want better for us all.
I'm done rambling for today. Like I said at the get-go...I can't promise this week will be filled with good times and happiness and positive messages, because life doesn't always work out like that and we are who we are in part because sometimes a song took a good chunk out of us along when life itself was trying to gut our existence. We remember that because we survived. You're still here. I'm still here. That's the most important part.