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 |  I've maxed out. Closed this blog. |
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This is a way of making myself write something coherent and grammatically correct almost every day. I'm opinionated and need an outlet. I'm also prone to flights of fancy. Thanks for stopping by. |
| It is good to have a day or remembrance of all those who have fallen in every war for our country. The sacrifice they made and that their family endured should be recognized. It is also important to honor those who have returned wounded. Their suffering and sacrifice continues on. Their families are strained financially and emotionally as they deal with the day to day problems. Their dreams and plans for the future have been altered. The veterans who returned alive and without visible wounds need to be honored as well. They have been brave men and women who followed command and did their duty, risking their safety and welfare for their ideals. I am appreciative of their service. Many carry hidden wounds, mental stress, and bad dreams. Often, we overlook the members of the press who took great risks covering wars and police action, trying to bring home to us the truth. Some have been injured or killed doing their jobs. I pay tribute to them as well for keeping us informed. With Memorial Day, we not only honor the past and honor those still living who have served, but we hold up the hope for peace. We long for that day when there is no war. no desire to kill or harm. Maybe in the back of our minds, we don't believe that day will ever come. But we should live as though it is possible and hold onto that hope. |
| I have an upstairs book (on my Kindle) and a downstairs book. Which one I'm reading depends on where I find myself relaxing. I finished both within the last two days, so I'm starting new ones. Downstairs (family room, laundry, etc.), I've had David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty Some Day. It's been out a few years now. He writes autobiographical essays that are hysterically funny. So you could skip around or quit early and still be very entertained. He has an unusual way of looking at the world and is very blunt about a lot of things. He's lived in New York, South Carolina, and Paris. He's had a long line of jobs of many descriptions. He loves to watch movies, including the oldies. I laughed out loud quite a few times. Upstairs, I've read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. The story is told by two people, husband and wife, both writers professionally. One arouses more sympathy than the other, then you have some doubt, but you never like the other. Part two turns everything around. Your faith in the first one is restored, even though you now see the serious flaws. But the second is psycho. The book gets more compelling with each chapter. The ending is not satisfying for me because justice is never served. You're left hanging with these very disturbed individuals. There are some very poignant observations along the way, making these sick people quite intelligent and insightful, as well as dangerous. My new books will be downstairs: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (already saw the movie) and upstairs: How Will Your Life Be Measured, by a Harvard Business grad. Some nonfiction. |
| We feed the birds year round. I've noticed my dad is buying seed in 50 pound bags now. He puts it in a tall container, which holds about 3 pounds, with a top out in the garage where he stores it. He takes the container up to the kitchen where it lasts a few days. So every morning while the coffee is brewing, he's on the back porch filling the feeders. (He clears the snow on the railing in winter, so they can perch there.) My mother has been gone eight years. He still calls the doves "Mama's doves" when they come to eat. He faces the window at every meal so that he can watch. The cardinals nest in a blooming tree by the front door, and come around back to eat. They share with other birds. The wrens share with the non-aggressive birds. To listen to my dad, the same cardinal has been living there for over a decade. I told him once that it was probably a younger generation, but that didn't go over. The cardinals stay all year round. The most aggressive is the blue jay. He does not share. All the others take off before he lands. Mr. Cardinal might hang around a while, but if they get to close to each other, he leaves. Blue jay comes every evening during dinner. We watch him all by himself picking out seed while we eat our vegetables. He's our dinner guest. Sometimes when I'm watering my flowers or planting new dill seed, a bird or two will light as though I'm not there. A sudden move or speaking sends them flying off. I'd like to put a bird bath out back in the flower bed. My grandmother used to have one in the front yard. People sitting in her living room were amazed to see that birds really do take baths! They dip in and shake like crazy. You have to rinse it out and refill it every day to keep the slime away. Birds can be fun entertainment if you are willing to work at it. |
| Summer TV is here. That means I'll watch more old movies or do more reading. It looks pretty bleak for regular viewing. During the school year, good shows are sporadic. They aren't on every week. They start and end on different weeks:there's no predictable season. Some get a really big winter break. You lose interest in their absence. I don't like messing with the schedule either. I don't know what channel a show is on or what night, I just don't see it. There are about 3 comedies and one drama/horror show I like and have stuck with. Then there are the 50 year old reruns and old movies. They've played a lot of Eastwood films lately. But tonight, I saw some of Red Nose Day. It's had a big campaign, so I thought it might be important. Well, the charity part is good. The TV show was a big bore for the most part. The comedy routines were lousy. The good things: Matt Laur came in cleaned up after his big bike ride from Boston to New York. He raised money for charities for children in poverty. He let us know his bottom and his legs are sore. Nick Cannon danced in exhausted with his Red Nose Team after dancing for 24 hours. They were headed home to sleep. There was some singing, okay, not unusual. The best part were like news reports. Michelle Rodriguez went to Peru to watch child labor. Children as young as six work after school to dry and turn bricks so the family can have more money. Even a two year old tried to help. This is outdoors in the sun. Blake Shelton went to L.A. to visit with children who are homeless or hungry. They showed a grandmother who had to care for her grandchildren because her daughter had cancer and was too sick to work. The most gripping was Jeff Black, normally a funny guy, in Uganda with homeless children. I have heard of these children for over a decade now. It's not getting any better. These young kids have no family and no means of support. After being shown around, Jeff met up with a 12 year old and spent the day with him and at least part of the night. The boy sleeps in a heavily populated area at night, exposed to the elements, to strangers, to animals. He gets his food from the garbage. He wants to go to school. Seeing the despair on his young face was heart breaking. No 12 year old should be that scared, that hungry, that hopeless. Yet he was gentle, intelligent, and eager to work and learn. I hope they raised a lot of money. It might have helped if they had indicated a high percentage of every dollar given went straight to help. When it's not mentioned, I have a feeling that maybe only 50% actually goes where you think it's going. The rest goes to overhead and fund-raising. My hope is that all the spoiled young people who tuned in for the music or their favorite star who just said and did stupid things, also sat through the reports and see for themselves how tough it is for so many of the world's children. Maybe more of our culture could stop feeling sorry for themselves and realize how well off they are and develop compassion for someone besides themselves. |
| This weekend means many things to many people. It will be a big sale day in furniture and appliance stores. Some retailers and car dealers will have extended hours. Government employees will be off, so they are expected to go shopping. Most people will have some kind of special food, a picnic or a cookout or at least some hamburgers. There's a challenge out this year for as many people as possible to fly an American flag in the front yard. One chain store sells a t-shirt each year very cheaply with the year and the flag on it. Veterans will be dispersing paper poppies this Saturday. TV will be re-running old war movies. At my house, we'll have hamburgers, corn on the cob, macaroni salad, strawberries, watermelon, and iced tea. We'll use the red, white, and blue tablecloth and have some patriotic decor. If I can find our small flags, I'll put them out in the yard. The preschoolers who visit all know the pledge of allegiance, the ones that talk, that is. We'll blow some bubbles with them. One of my brothers has a knack for meeting older men and getting them engaged in conversation about their service. He's heard a lot of great stories that way. He'll share the latest one he's heard. I'll remind them about someone in our family tree who served. And we'll give thanks for all those who have served their country, who died for what they thought was right. To all the service men and women out there, who sacrifice for the good of their country, I pray for your safety and give thanks for you. I salute all our wounded warriors and all our veterans of any age. Thank you for your service. |
| I went to visit an older woman in the hospital today. I've known her for a few years now, but not very well. She was active in my church. It seems like just a few months ago, a few women and I stood in the hall after services waiting to make sure she didn't get locked in the bathroom while everyone else was gone. Apparently she'd had trouble getting the door open once before, but one person was still there. I signed up to visit the elderly because I figure if I live long enough I will need someone to visit me once in a while. If we believe in karma, then I'm planting seeds for my future. But I have to say I wasn't prepared for what I saw. She always had a small frame and was lean. She was very active in the life of the church and cared about reaching out beyond the walls into the community to help others. Today, she was shriveled up, all skin and bones, struggling to breathe. One eyelid was swollen shut. One was open, but she gave no sign that she heard me or knew that anyone was there. No nurse came around so that I could inquire. I put on my big girl pants, and stood my ground. I talked to her as though she could hear me. I babbled. Then I walked over to look out her window and commented on it. I told her I would pray if she didn't mind. I knew she wouldn't. I sat in the chair and prayed silently. Then I said the Lord's Prayer out loud, more for her benefit. I have a soft voice, so she probably didn't hear anything but mumbling if she could hear at all. I got up and talked some more. It felt awkward. I wanted to cry seeing anyone in this condition. Instead I sang to her. Not so loud that people in other rooms or the nurses' station would be disturbed, but loud enough for this private room. After "Amazing Grace", I sang "When I Survey The Wondrous Cross". She would definitely know that one. I tried to sing more purposefully without getting louder. I went to the other side of her bed. Then it hit me. She loved missions, and I learned a missionary song as a child that I've never forgotten. So I sang "We've A Story To Tell To The Nations." With each song my conviction went up a little. Finally, I had to go. I never saw any reaction or change in her. No hospital personnel ever entered the room or looked in the door. It was a very sad experience for me.I don't know how nurses manage to work with these elderly patients and see their once strong bodies now so weak and frail. The lives that once were so active and had so much to give, now lingering and suffering, ebbing away. |
| I finally saw the movie Life of Pi. Pi is the man, not the tiger. And, the name is not because he's good at math, although he is. It's a great story, one that makes you think and ask questions. It has multiple choice endings. First, it's an exotic looking film. There are zoo animals, nature shots, Indian scenery, and ocean views. Porpoises. whales, zebra, lion, elephant mix together in the Pacific Ocean after a cargo ship sinks. It's not only exotic, it's fantastical. From the beginning, you are told the story is about God. Pi pursues religion and his understanding of "god" or "gods" like it's a matter of life and death. He is raised a Hindu, becomes a Christian without abandoning Hindi gods, is a Jew for a while, then embraces Islam. He learns things of value to himself in each of these religions. In fact, it is his confused vision of god that helps him survive the shipwreck for almost a year until he is found. He tells two tales of his survival. The director never tells you which is right or wrong. I haven't read the book, but am told the book does the same thing, maybe in more detail. You, the viewer choose which to believe. It is a matter of preference, which is more satisfying to the individual. Pi very blatantly says, "And so it is with God." He never concludes that one religion was better than another, or that one helped his survival more. But he does make a clear case for some kind, any kind of religion. He seems to support what psychologists refer to as "our higher power" without giving that power a name. Mankind needs a god to make it through the storms and the shipwrecks of life. According to this movie, God is real, and a relationship to Him/Her/Them makes life richer, stronger, more enduring. |
| May and June are always bad times for breathing and allergy related problems. I had the misfortune to catch a miserable cold from someone else who had gotten it from a coworker. And I, too, was bad off with a sore throat, runny eyes, heavier than usual sneezing, then the nagging cough. By the time I had gotten through the ten days of that mess, I was in full allergy season. So now my voice, which is soft even on a good day, comes and goes. Which no one would mind, if I didn't sing in the choir. Saturday, I thought my voice was clear. I actually sang a few songs at home without trouble, for the first time in weeks. Today, because we sang in church, my voice sounded like a frog. I was constantly trying to clear my throat. My nose was runny again, too. Waa, Waa. I know. Whining again. It's just so undignified. It interferes with something I like--singing. It's not cool to have allergies. Nerds have allergies. My throat will clear up, along with my nose, about mid to late June. Only first of August, it will be hay fever season. That could linger on up to October, depending on the weather. Well, I refuse to stay indoors or wear a mask. I tried a mask one year, but it makes your face turn red, and you sweat profusely in the face and neck. Talk about looking like a nerd. Masks really should be saved for the truly sick. I can open my mouth and lip sync the words. Only the person next to me will know. |
| I'm going to start making a weekly goals chart, like we do here for WDC. Only this will be everything, not just writing, organizing, reading, and thinking. I consider clutter and reading/researching writing related, as well as attending arts events. The other things I need to list include phone calls, letters, bill paying, bank balancing, insurance matters, car repairs, lawn work, etc. My mind is more scattered and I have more things to remember than ever. Having more flexible time does not solve time organization problems. A calendar keeps the appointments. But I need to list things like "Go to post office", "call bank (1/2 hr minimum) to do transfer". check beneficiaries on life insurance, etc. At this point I can't even keep track of when I changed the sheets. I have to list that, too. It's not aging alone. It's the absence of stress. I've been operating under heavy stress for so many years, that now when I'm relatively stress-free, I can't function. With some weekly physical or tangible goals maybe I can focus. Then I cab have some loftier, less tangible things in there, too. |
| The most exciting thing I have going right now is walking in the park. It sounds crazy, even to me. But I guess I like it because I feel like I'm doing something good for myself. My glucose is down 8 points and my AC1 is beautiful according to the doctor. My bad cholesterol has always been in range, but the good cholesterol was too low. I got the lecture about exercise being the only way to improve that. So four months later, my good cholesterol is in range! I have pale skin that fries like bacon on a hot stove when I'm in the sun. So I found a sunscreen for faces with an SPF70. I still get splotchy in the heat, but that's a temporary condition. It might be causing an allergic reaction, however. I put some on my neck and the area above my neckline of a tee shirt, so now my chest is red and itching. I'm a born sissy; what else can I say? I also use UV sunglasses to avoid cataracts. Now I've swiped one of my Dad's baseball caps. I come home wringing wet from climbing stairs and steep roads. My muscles are sore and my lower back aches every day. But I'm covering more territory in the same time. I've increased the total time as well, so my endurance is better. I feel like I'm getting better at it, so I don't care what other people think. I am one of those people with the earplugs in my ears, so I'm in my own little world when I'm out there. I finally figured out that using "shuffle on the I-Pod was better than choosing one artist each day, because one singer tends to use the same kind of beat or emphasis. The shuffle mixes up slow ones--a longer, slower stride--and upbeat ones--quicker, shorter strides. Some songs make me swing my arms harder or higher, or snap my fingers while I walk. The music really does affect the gait, whether I put my hands over my head, or sing along (when I'm not in a crowd). I'm not the oldest walker in this park, but I'm the only old one with an I-Pod and stretching every half hour or doing knee bends. Oh, the I-Pod also keeps track of the time, provided I take it out of my pocket before grabbing my ankles to stretch out my spine. I'm getting fresh air and daylight, as well as exercise. I still haven't managed to get over the feeling that I have more constructive things to do. But I try to push those thoughts by saying this is for me. |
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