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Drinking In Satan’s Lair One frustrating, lonely Friday Night I went on a bender In Bangkok, City of Angels I went to my favorite bar The Cosmos Bar In Soi Cowboy On the lunatic left side of society And started drinking up a storm With my friends for the night Jack Daniel's, Jimmy Dean, and Old Grand Dad Jim Beam put in an appearance As did Senior Dos Equus, Mr. Corona And the Arrogant Bastard himself. Soon, I was almost there But still, twenty drinks too sober Just another lost drunk soul As I sat there looking at the dancing maidens Naked on stage Consumed with lust. I watched them Wondering whether I would end up alone I realized that I was lost Somewhere, I had found my way Down a rabbit hole And looked around And saw that everyone around me Had been transformed into their true selves. Most were humans Some were Thai, Others were Foreigners from all over Some were aliens hideous creatures From the Star Wars Bar At the end of the galaxy And some were satanic demons Who were Whipping the humans who did not seem to notice The demons all around them I wondered what had happened to me Did someone slip me some acid Was I dead or alive And I sat there numbed The waitress Kuhn Lek An evil Thai woman Who had the best ass Of any woman I knew An ass so divine A true epic erotic masterpiece An ass to die for Looked so fine My eyeballs hurt She looked at me And smiled Welcome to Satan’s lair We’ve been waiting for you for years I asked whether I was alive or dead She said Alive for now, And now you see The world as it is And you can choose Free will and all that jazz. So I ordered another round of booze, One bourbon, one scotch and one beer And whisky, And the demons joined me And I drank all night In Satan’s lair Just another lost human Drinking his way to hell and back. In the morning the bartender Took me home Where we made wild passionate love And I woke up And saw her note Meet me at midnight Same time and place. Satan has plans for you And you can have my ass again, Satan has given me to you As your reward. For joining the right team Operation Take over Humanity Has begun. I open the fridge And pulled out a cold Sing Ha beer. And started drinking Just another bender In a life of endless benders Drinking in Satan’s lair. Okay. You have released the muse that resides in the creative, or artistic, side of your brain to create a slew of fantastical images and whimsical situations in a flurry of inspiration. Now it is time to put the other side of your brain to work--the analytical, critical side that will sift through all that grist and sludge to find the golden nuggets for polishing and arranging into a sparkling piece of treasure. This can be a difficult and painful process. After all, this is your beloved brainchild we are talking about here. The first thing you must do is learn to look at your work objectively. Reviewing the work of other poets can be helpful to do this. The work of other members of this group as well as the public forum of WDC provide excellent opportunities to do this. Break the poem down line by line, word by word, syllable by syllable. Identify the things that are working well in the poem. Locate the obvious errors of syntax, spelling and punctuation. Look for cliches, gaudy phrasing, unclear language, weak images, and any other flaws that weaken the focus of the poem. Then go back one more time with the thought of finding any way possible to strengthen it further. Sometimes it is the words around the trouble spot that need changing. Workshops, writing groups and other students or poets can help to identify these flaws. Before exposing your work to those elements, you should be ready to accept honest criticism. If you are too sensitive about your work, this may not be the right path for you. Weigh the responses and sift out the good, constructive suggestions for possible use while discarding the useless ones. Occasionally, it may turn out that the first draft needs no revision, especially in the shorter forms, such as haiku. After five or six revisions, it may start to sound flat and lifeless. In that case, it may be useful to put it away for a time and come back later with a fresh perspective. The important thing is that it seems right and sounds natural, no matter how hard you struggled with it. Ultimately, this is your poem, and it’s up to you to decide when it is finished. The more you read over your work and experiment with revision, the more you will gain confidence in your ability to critique your work objectively and make that final decision. ASSIGNMENT: Make a list of your pet peeves. If you were sent to hell, what torment would you dread most? Write a poem about it using imagery, rhythm and sound effects to SHOW us that experience. |
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