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| Taking a chance here with a National Geographic link. I couldn't trust them once Fox bought them out (I fully expected headlines like "Global Warming: Myth Or Hoax?"), and I'm not sure Disney's much better. But I couldn't give this one a miss. Everything you think you know about spiders is wrong  They're not attracted to your body lotion. They don't crawl in your mouth at night. In fact, they want nothing to do with you. Uh huh. That's what they want you to believe, to lull you into a false sense of security until, one night, you wake up, and something eight-legged and fuzzy is staring at you with eight hungry eyes. I mean, come on, did a spider write this? With hundreds of years of baseless myth to supply us, it’s no wonder as many as six percent of people are phobic of arachnids. Well, that's one spin on it. Another is that some people are phobic of spiders regardless of truth or fiction. Also, I find it difficult to believe that it's only six percent. One other thing: the author uses "myth" to mean falsehood, which is a perfectly acceptable definition, but many cultures have actual myths ("foundational stories") surrounding spiders, many of which paint the arachnids in the positive colors they deserve. It's just important to know what definition the spider who wrote this is referring to. These animals are stunningly diverse, ingenious creatures with so many characteristics worth admiring. Yes, and it's far easier to admire said characteristics on the exceptionally large members of order araneae. Much of what is commonly touted about the spindly eight-legged invertebrates is a misconception, according to Rod Crawford, a spider expert and curator of arachnology at The Burke Museum. “Everything you thought you knew about spiders is wrong,” says Crawford. Hey, another spider getting quoted! First, they aren’t insects. Spiders belong to a completely different class called “Arachnida.” Yeah, you know what else are in Arachnida? Such cute and cuddly exoskeleton-owning bugs as scorpions and ticks. Studies show that, in some ecosystems, more than 40 percent of all insect biomass passes through spiders, making them the number one controllers of insect populations. Yeah, yeah, I know: they eat bugs. This is not the flex you think it is. Myth: Spiders are out to bite us Most people will never be bitten by a spider in their lifetime. Yeah, that's what they want you to think. I'm healing from a spider bite right now, and it's not my first. Although it’s common to wake up with small skin bumps and sores and blame a spider, there’s almost always no reason to believe a spider is responsible for the prick, says Dimitar Stefanov Dimitrov, a spider evolution expert at the University Museum of Bergen in Norway. I strongly suspect that Dimitrov would be singing a different tune if he lived in Australia instead of Norway. Myth: We swallow some spiders in our sleep every year Throughout the years, several online forums and publications have claimed we swallow as many as eight spiders in our sleep every single year. Okay, even if that were true, though: so what? Apart from the "gross" factor. Myth: Spiders lay eggs in the tips of bananas and other fruits No, of course not. They lay them in your pillow. I remember when I was a kid and Bubble Yum first came out (being a kid, this was exciting: a soft bubble gum? Count me in) there was a pervasive urban legend that it contained spider eggs, a myth probably started by the trolls over at Dubble Bubble. Myth: Spiders can lay eggs under your skin and other crevices of your body The story goes like this: a woman returns from a holiday in a warm, exotic location and finds a bump on her cheek that’s pulsating and growing. Concerned, she visits a doctor, and when the specialist pries the welt open, hundreds of small spiders crawl out. We heard that story as kids, too, only it wasn't always a woman. I did once read an account of a biologist who got infested with a botfly larva, and who was so intrigued by the process that he just let it develop under his skin. There's some more at the link. Now, just to be clear, I'm mostly joking here. I admire spiders, preferably from a distance. That doesn't stop me from making "nuke it from orbit" jokes, or posting jump-scare gifs for your viewing pleasure. |
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