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| An amusing "news" story from Boston: Who put this obscene, somewhat official-looking sign up near the Zakim Bridge?  The sign’s appearance prompted one Reddit user to remark, “Stay classy, Boston.” You'll have to visit the site to see the actual "somewhat official-looking sign," but I'll describe it here: With the bridge towers in the background, the sign, in standard white-on-brown historical marker colors, features an image of a side view of one of the towers with the quote "This bridge looks like a ***** that's being held up by wire" -Conan O'Brien So, yes, I find it highly amusing that someone did this. Little disappointed that John Oliver didn't notice it first, because his commentary would be funnier and more racy. But let's get this clear: there's nothing "obscene" about the sign. The one word that might be objectionable is self-censored. As there are five asterisks in the censorship, I have to assume that the original word wasn't dick, or todger, or tallywhacker, or cock, or schlong or ding-dong or weenie or pecker or tool or knob or... (you get the idea), but "penis." Sure, it might have been "prick" in O'Brien's original quote. I don't know. But "penis" isn't obscene; it's the dry, official, medical name for the wang. A guerilla street sign recently popped up near Boston’s Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge, immortalizing Brookline native Conan O’Brien’s rather poetic description of the iconic infrastructure. You know what is obscene? Comparing a little street sign to guerilla warfare. Also calling a harmless joke that could bring joy and laughter to millions of people "obscene." And also, not least of all, saddling a poor bridge with the name "Leonard P. Zakim Bunker Hill Memorial Bridge." Even in Boston traffic, by the time you said the name of the bridge, you'd have crossed it. The above isn't a slight on the late Mr. Zakim, just to be clear. He seemed like a good guy. Just that it's an obvious committee compromise name. Exactly who erected the sign — and when — remains a mystery... Okay. "Erected." Now that's funny. “MassDOT dispatched resources to the location for the sign’s removal, and the sign was removed yesterday.” But not until after a picture of the sign hit the internet, to be stored there until the heat death of the universe, or until we stop producing electricity, whichever comes first. I get the need to remove unauthorized signs, of course. Allow even one, and you get more, which leads to transportation chaos—though in Boston, I wonder how anyone could tell the difference. But look, I don't know how many dicks O'Brien has seen, but those towers don't look anything like human hydraulics. Sure, from some angles, they resemble obelisks (like the Washington Monument), but the whole point (pun intended) of an obelisk is that it's a stylized depiction of the male member. That is, it's not intended to be realistic, but a metaphorical, artistic, deliberately formalized representation of masculine potency. Also, I challenge anyone to come up with a suspension bridge design that doesn't involve tall towers, and tall towers will always look phallic if that's what you're looking for. Maybe the Brooklyn Bridge in that other major East Coast city isn't phallic, but it's an older, less materially efficient design. The sign, though? Not obscene. "But, Waltz, what about the children?" And? Half of them have johnsons, and all of them owe their existence, in part, to one. By the time they'd be able to actually read the sign, they'd have to understand what the asterisks might be censoring, and by then it's too late: their little innocence is already gone. As for adults who find it objectionable, fucking get over yourselves. I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that even the word "penis" is indeed non-E on Writing.Com. But, to put it in WDC content rating terms, that sign is ASR at worst, especially with the self-censorship. So, in summary, yes, signs like that have to be removed. Not due to obscenity, but to maintain some semblance of order on the streets. And I disagree with the comedian's assessment. But that doesn't mean I didn't laugh. |
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