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Blog for thefleet. |
| This week I've had a running montage of all my worst social blunders playing on rerun. I know what is triggering it, there is a friend feud that was started by my impulsiveness and the other person's penchant for drama and a knack for being slighted even at the most questionable times. I don't know if I will call her a friend after this. It's too messy and quite frankly, the woman stresses me the hell out. I never know how she will take my words or actions. She doesn't trust easily and tends to think the worst even when others have the best intentions. I know my part in this mess wasn't great, but I have done what I can to keep the peace and at this point, I'm not sure it's worth it. Over the last few years I've been trimming my social circle because I realized that I spend to much time trying to fix things that can never be fixed. I don't speak to my dad anymore and he doesn't call. He's another one that is never wrong and is offended by baffling things. I can't help but wonder, why do I attract these people and why do I put up with their bulls*** for so long? Is something wrong with me? They seem to think so. It's hard to see yourself in a mirror. It's always going to be distorted and the only way to keep my sanity is to remind myself that I'm doing my best and everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes other people aren't worth the effort because I can't fix everything. |
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