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| You know how the British Museum is often criticized for appropriating bits of history from other countries? Well, here's a chance to turn the tables on the UK. From BBC: People can own a piece of Isaac Newton's home as part of a conservation project. And why would anyone want to do that? Well, I think there are more math/science/history nerds out there than pop culture would have us believe. We are legion. Still, I'm not going to bite. Why? Because I've been conditioned by the hucksters running rampant across my own country to believe that anything like that is ripe for grift. For instance, one could chip a piece of brick from any old house and call it Newton's. It is claimed the scientist, born at Woolsthorpe Manor near Grantham in 1642, observed an apple falling from a tree that led to his theory of gravity. "It is claimed," BBC? Get out of here with the passive voice. Newton himself started that bit of mythology (the article does nod to that at the end). What almost certainly didn't happen was the way it's generally portrayed: the apple falling on Newton's head while he sat contemplating under an apple tree. Anyone who's been around an apple tree for any length of time has seen an apple fall to the ground, which is why smart people don't sit under those trees when they're fruiting. Or any tree during a lightning storm. The giant intuitive leap for Newton was to connect that fall with the orbits of the moon and planets. Okay, I'll shut up now. Math/science/history nerd mode off. Ms Johns said the local limestone being replaced had been there for about 500 years. I forget who said it first: In the UK, a hundred miles is a long way. In the US, a hundred years is a long time. 500 years is twice the age of my country. But it is quite a long time for exposed limestone to last without eroding beyond use. Visitors can buy various sizes of the local limestone, with a donation that will go towards conservation work. So despite my cynicism above, I don't think this is an actual grift. Sizes vary from the "height of a desktop computer or a little slither that could act as a paperweight", Ms Johns said. Yes, in British English, "slither" can be a synonym for "sliver." So when reading that, I imagined chipping off smaller and smaller "slithers" from the base stone, until what's left is so tiny as to be... infinitesimal. That's a calculus joke. So is the title of today's entry. I'll be here all week, folks. Be sure to tip your servers. |
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