My entries for the WDC Survivor Game
|"Oh my God."
"What is it, Char?"
"Look at this. Will you look at this?"
"Wha--- Oh my God…"
"Exactly. Could they have printed the headline in a bigger font? ‘Local Former Beauty Queen Rams Car Full of Nuns, Gets DUI.’ Those bastards down at the paper! Don’t they know how embarrassed our family already is about this?"
"It’s that Norbert T. Wardoff, that’s who did this. Remember him?"
"Natalie’s high school stalker, the one Mom and Dad had to have shipped off to juvie when he wouldn’t stop following Nat everywhere? Remember? He used to sleep in the dirt under her bedroom window! That freak works at the paper now? Oh man, Maggie, he must have broken out in the happy dance when the police report came over the paper’s wire."
"Yeah, revenge couldn’t be sweeter. Listen, we have to be sure Grammy doesn’t see this article. It’d kill her."
"Agreed. What’s the article say, anyways?"
"Let’s see, ‘Former Miss New Jersey Teen Natalie Belmont--' Hey, wanna sit? I’ll make room. Good, Maggie? Okay, where was I? ‘…was in town for Springfield High's Class of 1985 Reunion last weekend -- yada, yada, yada – ‘left a party intoxicated…failed to yield the right of way at the intersection of North Gordon and Park and ploughed into a car occupied by four nuns from St. James, injuring three …”
"OH MY GOD!"
"Grammy! Um, hi! We, er, didn’t hear you come in."
"Open that paper back up, Char. Right this instant!"
"The one crammed under your ass, Char."
"Uh-oh...she's cursing, Char..."
"What, Grammy, this paper? There’s nothing interesting in here. How about a nice cup of tea? Maggie, you want some tea, sis?"
"Sure! I’ll go make---"
"No! I don’t want any damn tea. I want to know what’s going on, and I want to know now! Natalie is the Former Beauty Queen I saw in that headline."
"Well, she…okay, yes. Yes Grammy, she got into a little trouble last weekend. We didn’t want to upset you. But here, here’s the paper."
"For heaven’s sake, Char. I already read the damn article over your shoulder. Maggie?"
"Yes, Grammy? Ready for that cup of tea?"
"No! However, do you have one of those cellular telephones?"
"Uh, yes, right here."
"Good. Be a dear and ring St. James for me. Ask Father Richardo if he’s free this afternoon. I'm going to need to go to confession. Char?"
"Bring that phone over here, the cord should reach. I need you to look up the paper's number and dial it. I’ve held my tongue for years, but today I’m going to tell that Norbert T. Wardoff just what I think of him!"