my first entry into my BCofF blog
December 5, 2012: The most surprised I've ever been . . .
Day 17 of B C of F
The most surprised I’ve ever been is when I discovered that I am indeed truly happy in my new surroundings. I have pouted and cried nearly every day that I have been here up until this summer; then, without warning, a glow of happiness began to invade my bad mood. It started slowly, without warning or fanfare. It just sort of snuck up like the dawn light under my door or peeking through my crooked window blinds (made crooked by the lurking cats behind them). The quiet happiness subtly turned into full-blown C. S. Lewis Joy when I wasn’t looking. I found myself smiling in my sleep again like I used to many years ago. And making up silly songs for the cats again. I started spontaneously writing poetry again, even being awakened by new poems in the dark of night. I began designing music stations to play all of my favorite songs on my Android so that I would be able listen while poeming in the night. None of this was deliberate; it was just a form of self-care that instinctively took over when I was ready. When I was good and fed up with my depression and ready to get on with life and smiling again. :O}