A third journal of personal musings
|I've recently gotten to thinking of how long I've been at this site. Officially, it will be TWENTY years come the end of August. TWENTY. How did I get old enough to say I've been somewhere on the Internet for TWENTY years? Yet, here we are. Though, if we want to get technical I've been with this site longer than this site was technically around. Doesn't make much sense, does it? Well, let me see if I can explain.
So, originally, this site was called Stories.Com. I found this site just by googling stories or writing into the search box. It was part of like a cluster of sites. Not necessarily like a web ring, but if you went to the "mother site" it would list Stories.Com, along with some others. (I feel like maybe my age is showing here)
Anyway, Stories.Com was originally just interactive stories. You didn't have to have an account, so you didn't really have a way to "own" anything, except just knowing that it was yours. I had a story on there that was one of the most popular stories. It was about a haunted house and that's really all I remember about it now. I don't know why I didn't transfer it over. I wish I had kept it, even if it was just for posterity's sake.
I was there probably close to two years before SM and SMs took it over and made it into what it is now.
I've always considered it my home. A lot of those for whom I've considered family aren't very active on here anymore or have stopped visiting altogether (some of these people though I've stayed connected with on social media, so I can still say hi to them whenever I'd like. ), but I still feel happy here. I decided to use my stepping away from social media as an excuse to just be more active here and another excuse to get back into writing, no matter how little I am able to do so. All so I can take a break from what's going on outside. I don't like to throw around descriptor words on who I am or what I am, so saying that I am an empath feels bizarre to me, but I am incredibly empathetic. Almost to a point where it's very overwhelming. It has been building to a point where I just...can't take it anymore. So I'm taking a break from everything. I can't get anxious and overwhelmed to the point of tears if I don't know what stupid people are saying, now can I?
I've had to cut back on reading Covid-19 articles, because my anxiety has flown up through the roof. It's been the same with the BLM and George Floyd stuff going on now, only with social media and seeing people say the most ignorant things. I know that I am empathetic to basically a fault, but to see people who have none at all just hurts my soul. Especially when it's just human beings wanting to be treated like human beings and somehow white people have to make it all about them. Or just wanting to care enough to not be considered racist.
So, here I am. In my happy place, where I can focus on my mental health and writing for awhile.