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Feeling torn

It feels like the day after getting doctoral assessment about bone marrow transplant I would be happy. There was .40 cancer in my results. So now what. I go on chemo and transplant seems out of the picture no matter what. It feels like I am being cornered.
I love my family and long to see my wife who is in a nursing home in Erie. I love being a pastor. My faith in resurrection is firm. I just do not know where things go. I am resigned to enjoy the life I have left. To God be the glory. Just one more time with my family, a walk in the snow or rain be with me Lord.
Hugs for all who loved me. I miss my kids and grandkids so the question becomes how do I manage the rest of my life?