Can We Talk 2

Wisdom, Where Can It Be Found

         We are talking about getting older and wiser in Sunday morning Bible study. I am leading for now. Last week, using the first chapter of James, we connected wisdom to maturity and completeness. No one ever becomes wise or "complete" all the time. We have our moments.

         We thought about the wisest people we have known and described them. Calm was almost a universal adjective. That wise person who always seemed to be in control, at least of himself, in the midst of a crisis. The wise people I have known were excellent listeners, so I would add knowing when to be quiet and when to speak.

         Leo Buscaglia, very popular writer a few decades ago, claimed that in a time of grieving, not speaking, but sitting down to cry with the mourner is the kindest way to help the mourner. You don't have to fill in all the silences with empty words. Yet. we all try so hard to say the perfect things to give comfort. Maybe wisdom involves knowing a time to cry and a time to make speeches.

         A wise person is not judgmental. You don't tell someone their feelings are silly, or they shouldn't feel a certain way. Their feelings are theirs, and our place is only to acknowledge them. We might offer an alternative, but without invalidating that person. We are talking about getting older, and that makes people think of mortality. So a wise person won't say something like, "Oh, no. You're going to live a long time." When did we become fortune tellers? No one can predict the end, so we can't scold someone for thinking about that. Again, it seems that wisdom means knowing when to keep our mouths shut.

         With this subject in my mind, I watched an episode of The Andy Griffith Show, where Opie is a key figure. He really wanted to win a foot race and get a medal. He exercised and trained for it, but had a very poor showing. He lost so badly, he walked away instead of watching the awards. He moped for days. Finally, Pa had a talk with him about sportsmanship. The first one didn't work, so a second more serious one came up. Andy told him that winning didn't matter to him, but he was disappointed that Opie couldn't congratulate his friends, that he was so surly with everyone and not eating. The talked about being mature.

         That word triggered my thinking. Maybe the wise person knows how to be a good loser, even if she really wants to win. Maybe in our description of wisdom, we need to include good sportsmanship. The wise people I've known may have had some intense emotions, but they never let those emotions get the best of them. They were gracious in all circumstances.