Blog/Journal Type Entries

And the Beat Goes On.

I am feeling a little crappy this morning. I did not get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning, and awoke at six in terrible pain. The pain was in the right side chest area and felt like it was burrowing a hole through my back. I took 1200 mgs. of ibuprofen and went back to bed. I laid there thinking that even if I had to go to the hospital, I would hold off telling Rick, so as to not ruin his trip with his mom to go see his daughter graduate from college in New York.

I fell heavily back into sleep at woke again at nine. But I feel like I have been drugged. Heavy. Exhausted. I am hoping coffee will help.

Thursdays are my recovery day after Wednesday's methotrexate dosage. Wednesdays, I usually take it easy on Wednesdays. I stay home and usually sleep most of the day. Yesterday, there was no opportunity for rest. We had to pick his mom up from the airport and spend some time with her before she and Rick fly out to NY today.

I learned a valuable lesson. Don't go out on chemo meds day.

I will be forced to rest today. Today feels heavy. I have phone calls to my disability lawyer and my social security determination worker to handle. I called both before I even had a cup of coffee in my hand. Left messages.

I despise waiting for return calls. It takes A LOT of gumption to make calls like that, I have to write a script of what I want to say, and I go over it like a million times in my head. So to prepare for a conversation, just to be sent to voicemail does absolutely NOTHING for my anxiety.

I had thought about taking my friend's dog, Frida for a walk to the coolest little cafe that sits catty corner to the house I am staying at. But to get there I have to descend down a winding brick staircase that runs parallel to the VERY steep driveway. Going down those stairs would probably be no big deal, but coming back would be tough.

I think I will plan for that to happen tomorrow, after I rest today.

It was nice to spend a little time with my mother in law yesterday. She is so much like my own mother, which can be good, and maybe a little frustrating at times, but I love her dearly, and I know she loves me too. We had a nice Chinese meal after showing her the apartment. It was nice to have her there.

We gave her the Mother's day present we had made- a cute coffee mug with our picture in the O portion of the word MOM, the word was a floral font. When she opened it, she cried. That made me happy that we could do something small, and it still had an impact.

I think I may just eat the leftovers from dinner and watch some tv while I relax and wait for return calls from my lawyer and social security.