Carrion Luggage

Kids These Days

Continuing with yesterday's theme, because the random number generator has gained sentience and likes to have a laugh at my expense, a three-year-old article from The Guardian:

    ‘What are our lives for?’: a philosopher answers kids’ existential questions  
What happens when Plato mixes with playtime? Philosopher Scott Hershovitz answers the questions that confound children and adults alike

"Kids, you're here because either your parents felt the existential dread of certain mortality, or they were just trying to steal five minutes of fun from their dreary, meaningless lives when the condom broke, thus condemning them to 18+ years of misery."

I’ve got two boys, Rex and Hank. They have been asking philosophical questions since they were little, and they try to answer them too.

I honestly don't remember if I was that way when I was a kid. I know I was curious about science, which my parents absolutely encouraged. I feel like if I'd asked my dad what the meaning of life was, his answer would be either something completely absurd like "ducks," or he'd be like "I don't know. Go ask your mom."

But I don't think the question ever occurred to me, or, if it did, I shrugged it off much like I do all these years later.

If God created everything, who created God? Leyha, 7

Does God exist? I don’t know, but I’m sceptical. And your question points to one of the reasons why. Imagining that there’s a God doesn’t help us explain anything. It just raises new questions, which are at least as mysterious as the old ones.

I figure the Western conception of God is usually depicted with a long, flowing beard because He didn't have access to Occam's Razor.

I sometimes feel like I’m the only real person and everyone else is a robot. How can I know if that’s true? Ursula, 8

Well, Ursula, you're only asking that because you were programmed to.

If they were really good robots, you wouldn’t be able to tell, at least not without cutting them open. And let’s not do that, since they would get hurt if your hypothesis was wrong.

They'd also get hurt if your hypothesis was right.

A philosopher named Descartes once tried to imagine that everything he believed was wrong. He didn’t suppose the people around him were robots, since they hadn’t been invented. Instead, he imagined that an evil demon was filling his head with falsehoods – that none of the people or things he thought he knew actually existed.

Except, presumably, the demon.

Ask yourself the same question, Ursula. Is there any reason to think that you, and you alone, are real? Probably not. Unless you’re the main character in a movie and I’m just another robot trying to trick you …

This made me chuckle, because it sounds like something I would say to some snot-nose proto-solipsistic kid.

Why are there numbers? Sahil, 5

Specifically to annoy you, Sahil.

Where was I before I was here? Josh, 3

Nowhere! The universe has been around for billions of years, but you weren’t part of it until very recently.

And, one day, you'll be nowhere again!

(The next few questions tackle that angle on the question. I don't feel the need to snark on them further.)

What are our lives for? Caspar, 5

Well, Caspar, they are like cogs in a giant machine. As long as the cog works, everything works. As soon as it stops working, you're replaced by a different cog.

Seriously, though, this leads in to the part I really wanted to quote:

Lots of people want to know what the meaning of life is. They’re searching for something that will help it make sense that we’re here, and maybe tell us how to live. But I think they’re making a mistake. The universe doesn’t care about us...

But we are here, and we should care about each other, even if the universe doesn’t care about us. There may be no meaning to our lives. But we can find meaning in our lives by filling them with family and friends and fun – and projects that make the world a better place. You get to decide what your life is for, Caspar, so try to make it something cool.

Because that's pretty close to my own thoughts on the subject—at least on those rare occasions when I stop making jokes get serious about it.

Why is it bad to have everything I want? Abraham, 4

...Last, there’s a song by the Rolling Stones called You Can’t Always Get What You Want. That’s true. And you have to learn how to be disappointed without making yourself – and everyone else – miserable.

And I'm just quoting this to emphasize the combined absurdity and absolute greatness of a philosopher quoting the Rolling Stones.

Why do people end up doing things that they don’t want to do? Sarang, 4

Money.

Do the needs of the many outweigh those of the few, or do the needs of the few outweigh those of the many? Arthur, 7

Seven is probably a bit young to be watching Wrath of Khan.

Arthur, did you get help with your homework? Or did some grownup put you up to asking this question? I’m a little suspicious, but I’ll answer anyway.

I'm a lot suspicious. Still, it's a valid question. As for the answer, well, the author took a lot of words to say "it depends," as philosophers are wont to do.

Is your imagination made of atoms? Josie, 7

Now that kid's almost certainly going to become a scientist or philosopher. Or, better yet, both. Unless, of course, the world beats them down just like it does everyone else.

Lots more at the article. As usual, the philosopher never seems to mention comedy as critical to the meaning and/or purpose of life. I guess that's a "me" thing. Philosophers don't generally have senses of humor (or humour, considering the source). We have a different name for philosophers who are funny; we call them "comedians."