Blog/Journal Type Entries

Lauren

"Just deal with what is right in front of you, right now. Don't think too much about what is happening in the world. Just focus on yourself and Rick."

My therapist and I have been working together for almost two years. When I think about the people in my life that I trust explicitly with my truth, my skeletons, there are three people. My therapist Lauren, Rick, and my best friend Debi. Know who's at the top of the list? You'd think I would say Rick, my fiancé, but no... It's Lauren.

We have been having weekly appointments this entire time. Some people are okay seeing their therapist once a month. Oh, but not me. I am a certified basket case, and I require much more than that.

She is a Godsend, truly. She has been there for me through so much. We have laughed together, cried together, and shared so much. I even saw her in public at one point, at the Doo-dah Parade of of places, but I did not want to shatter the professional relationship by approaching her and her fiancé while we are all out enjoying our day.

I told her about it at the next session, and she told me to ABSOLUTELY say hello the next time I see her. We live in the same little alcove of Los Angeles, and it is most certainly bound to happen again.

This lady has brought me back from the brink of suicide, through being forced to stay in a very abusive living situation with a friend, through a harrowing sexual assault that I was one hundred percent certain I would not survive, through a couple of less than ideal relationships, and finally to the point where I met Rick, and my life changed forever.

I have done a lot of hard things to get through it all. Healing is not linear, and Lauren has helped me to recognize that working on our trauma and diagnoses is a never ending process. I have come so far in my life thanks to her. And I am confident enough in the work we have done that I have allowed myself to feel pride.

Lately, we have been working on my reactions and emotions during difficult situations, situations that would have caused me to crash out previously, now find me dealing with things more appropriately.

I am hoping we can continue indefinitely. We shall see.