My Conversion Story Journal

July 30, 2025

When I was in the mikvah, I had to touch the bottom with my toes. I'm a bit short. When I went to dunk the first couple of times, I didn't go under. I was told not to hold onto any part of my body. That meant I couldn't plug my nose, hold my hair, or cross my arms across my chest (all normal things when you're dunking). I closed my eyes and used my arms to help me go down. With my eyes closed, could see my arms moving. I looked at the wall and around me while under water, all with my eyes closed. I don't know how it's possible, but it happened.

When I came out of the water, I rubbed the water off my face and off eyelids before I opened them. The second time I emerged, I heard the Rabbis say that I was good and heard them walk out.

I've heard of strange stories about the mikvah, but they are the type of things that I try to rationalize or just thought was embellished. Even knowing that I was wrong to question the validity of the stories I heard, I still question my own experience.

It's been a week and I still can smell and taste the water. Parts of body still tingle at times.

My community calls me by my Hebrew name. I really like hearing it. I even have had the opportunity to introduce myself to someone new using my Hebrew name. It was exciting, but also felt natural. Not everyone gets a chance to become a new person, but I did. I still feel like me, just more me.