My Conversion Story Journal

August 15, 2025

It's taken a while for it to sink in that I am now a Jew, and that my conversion is finished. I struggle with how to introduce myself and have to think of where I am and who I'm talking to on whether to say my legal name or my Hebrew name. I'm sure there will be a time that this gets easier, but I've seen others struggle with it, so perhaps not.

Yesterday I met the Rabbi who sparkles. He was in town and it was nice to meet him. He didn't give a class, but it was still nice to meet him in person.

I was finally able to study again with the Rabbi who laughs. I missed it is much. Sometimes I ask one question and it hijacks the entire lesson. I asked about the Schema prayer when it says to "Love the L-rd with all your heart." I have ideas when I think of love and ideas on how to love G-d, but what does it really mean? It turned into a really good Talmud study. I never would have understood it at this level before my conversion because it wouldn't have meant the same thing. Some learning is meant for everyone, and some is only meant for Jews, because it doesn't pertain to everyone. I've heard lectures on this before, but something told me to ask because it would be different. It was definitely on a different level and filled with new meaning. Every time I learn something, it's like G-d is answering my prayer again to know his laws and statutes. I am so thankful because I get to learn, I get to grow, I get a deeper connection with G-d, and with another answered prayer, I get to hear that reassuring voice say, "This is a reminder that I love you."

Tonight is Shabbat. After being away one weekend, I am so thankful that I am home in the community. It's going to be a wonderful Shabbat. I can't wait.