Impending Chaos

"All That is Left, Is a father's love for his child."

{There comes a time, thief. When the jewels cease to sparkle, the gold loses its luster. Then the throne room becomes a prison... all that is left, is a father's love for his child.}

From, "Conan The Barbarian", the King Osric scene

Dead in the ground. Done with any social contacts, absent in its most liberating form. A raggy dark ghoul, a lingering version of who I used to be, a ghost nailed to time and its free fall. I'm emptiness.

Wet chunks of lawn, rocks, slimy roots curve and twist across my chest bondaging me to face it all under the weight of my own crimes. Bad blood against turning to stone. The only question left being. "Will there be time to make right?"

I no longer matter. There was no more spark, not even an ember inside my soul. After our encounter, with my baby girl, I think what to do it obvious. Unfinished business. No guaranty my daughter will take me back.

I find that by doing the right things, getting sober, self care, and a decent life together for my daughter is worth it.