La Bene Vita

What AI Is Good For (or, "Bottom Wiping")

This post was generated by Google Gemini. It was also my first attempt at using "Columns" in the beta editor, and they're currently broken. I'm leaving them that way to file a bug report. I'm happy to report that SM fixed the columns.

PROMPT:
How did people wipe their bottoms before toilet paper was invented?

It turns out that "the good old days" were many things, but "soft and quilted" was definitely not one of them. Before Joseph Gayetty marketed the first commercial toilet paper in 1857, humans were remarkably resourceful—and occasionally very brave—with their hygiene.What people used largely depended on two things: where they lived and how much money they had.

The "Natural" Approach
For the average person throughout history, nature provided the toolkit. If it was within arm's reach and didn't sting, it was fair game.
  Leaves and Grass: The most common choice globally.
  Moss and Ferns: A "premium" natural choice because of their softness and absorbency.
  Fruit Skins: Specifically citrus peels or husks.
  Snow: Used by Inuit populations and people in boreal climates (surprisingly effective, if chilling).

Regional Specialties
Different cultures developed specific "tools" for the job:
  Ancient Rome (The Tersorium): In public latrines, Romans used a communal sponge attached to a wooden stick. It was kept in a bucket of strong saltwater or vinegar between uses. Yes, it was shared.
  Ancient Greece: They used pessoi, which were small stones or pieces of ceramic (broken pottery) smoothed down at the edges.
  Ancient China: They were actually the pioneers of paper hygiene. As early as the 6th century, scholars mentioned using paper, and by the 14th century, the Ming Dynasty was manufacturing mass-produced, oversized sheets for the imperial family.
  Colonial America: The corncob was the go-to. Even after newspapers and catalogs became common, many still preferred the "scrubbing power" of a dried cob.

The Rise of "Paper" (Before TP)
In the 1700s and 1800s, as literacy and printing increased, people transitioned to "recycled" paper:

  The Farmers’ Almanac: It was intentionally printed with a hole in the corner so it could be hung on a nail in the outhouse.
  Catalogues: The Sears Roebuck catalog was a legendary bathroom staple—until they started printing on glossy paper in the 1930s, which (to the frustration of many) wasn't nearly as absorbent.


Summary Table

Era/Culture

Ancient Rome


Ancient Greece


Coastal Regions


Wealthy Elite

19th Century US
 

Material Used

Communal sponge on a stick

Smooth stones or pottery shards

Mussel shells or coconut husks

Wool, lace, or hemp

Corncobs or Newsprint
 

Comfort Level

Low (and risky)


Ouch


Rough


High (for the time)

Functional
 

PROMPT:
Please list your sources.

To give you the "receipts" on these historical hygiene practices, here are the primary archaeological and historical sources that back up those claims:

1. Ancient Rome: The Tersorium (Sponge on a Stick)Source: Seneca the Younger, Moral Letters to Lucilius (Letter 70). * The Evidence: Seneca recounts a story of a Germanic gladiator who committed suicide by shoving a "sponge on a stick used for cleaning excrement" down his throat. Archaeological finds in Ostia (near Rome) also show a running water trough in front of toilets, likely for rinsing these sponges.

2. Ancient Greece: Pessoi (Stones) and Ostraka (Pottery)Source: Philippe Charlier et al., "Toilet Hygiene in the Classical Era," BMJ (British Medical Journal).The Evidence: Researchers identified ceramic shards (pessoi) in ancient latrine pits that were smoothed at the edges to prevent injury. They also noted the use of ostraka—pottery shards inscribed with names of enemies—found in Athens, suggesting a double use for political ostracization and personal hygiene.

3. Ancient China: The First Paper & "Poop Sticks"Source: The History of the Northern Dynasties (written in the 7th century) and the Journal of Archaeological Science: Reports.The Evidence: Scholar Yan Zhitui (589 AD) famously wrote that he would never use paper with the "names of sages" on it for "toilet purposes." Furthermore, in 1992, archaeologists at the Xuanquanzhi site on the Silk Road found bamboo "hygiene sticks" (cèchóu) from the Han Dynasty (111 BCE) with cloth remains containing parasite eggs.

4. Colonial America & Rural West: The CorncobSource: The Old Farmer’s Almanac historical archives and anthropological surveys of American folk life.The Evidence: Before modern indoor plumbing, the corncob was the primary tool in American outhouses. It was so common that when toilet paper was first marketed, it was often called "paper corncobs" to help people understand what it was for.

5. 19th-Century Innovation: The Sears CatalogSource: Sears, Roebuck and Co. Corporate History and the University of North Texas Digital Library.The Evidence: Photos and primary accounts from the early 20th century show the Sears catalog hanging in outhouses. The "Marketing Genius" theory holds that Richard Sears intentionally used thinner, softer paper (newsprint style) until the 1930s, when they switched to glossy paper, which was notoriously criticized for being "un-wipable."

Key Historical Milestones

Milestone 
 

Date
 

Reference
 

First Mention of Paper Wiping
 

589 AD
 

Yan Zhitui's personal notes
 

Mass Production (China) 
 

1393
 

Ming Dynasty Imperial Bureau of Supplies
 

First Commercial TP (US)
 

1857
 

Gayetty’s Medicated Paper (Joseph Gayetty)
 

The Perforated Roll
 

1871
 

Seth Wheeler's patent