Memoir ideas

Image Issues

My Mom has always had problems with image issues. She felt that we always had to look nice. She wanted us to look and act percest to the outside world. That meant a lot of heartache and many screaming fits on my part.

I, unfortunately, have naturally curly hair which as a child living in Southern California meant that friz was my hairstyle of choice or nature. My Mom would often get mad at me because I would insist on wearing my hair down instead of up in a ponytail -- all the time.

The hair problems were not the extent of the issues I was faced with imagine. I was also supposed to wear nice clean clothes with no dirt or food anywhere on my body. This was hard for two reasons: First, I have little feel on my right side of the mouth so I never knew if anything was on that side of the mouth (due to my cerebral palsy), Second, I was a tomboy and loved to play outside and getting dirty was a must for me who liked to do whatever the boys did.

I had always resented my Mom for this image thing. It hurt me a lot because I felt I never could please her if I wanted to be me. It was not until much later while I was talking to my aunt that I realized that my Mom felt she had to prove to her parents that even though she was divorced she could raise her children right and that they would not be losers.

The result of all this was me allowing my son and daughter (as she grows older) to wear what they want as long as they are not being faced with school pictures. Even then though, I let my son slick his hair back because he thought it was cool this last time around during the infamous school pictures. I personally cannot stand the how the picture looks but he likes them and that is all that matters.



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I am more myself in solitude. For in solitude I am myself.
-(c)Melia Benjamin, August 2000

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