Memoir ideas

Suspended yet again

I cannot seem to find the time to pick this back up...Wait that is really not the truth. The truth is that my whole life is being consumed by writing poetry and going to dr's appointments.

I am not even sure exactly where I left off because I have not even taken the time to look at the darn document in about a month.

Part of it is due to the fact that my mind keep's asking to whom would be interested in a person with cerebral palsy and depression growing up in the Orange County area of California and a product of divorce.

You see my generation had to deal with a lot of divorce and absentee fathers that did not pay child support. At least that was the way my family was living life. I hated life and would show my anger in the home and in public -- if my cries were not heard at home.

My Mom called me a spoiled brat and still says I was growing up. What can I say I had everything but my parent's attention. All I cared about was getting their attention but they were not about to give me their attention no matter what. There was either each other to bicker and complain to -- which at times meant the faught over nothing and even today they probably could not tell me the half of it. Or they had work that was more important than me and my needs. My house was a horror story in itself...I still have to wonder how my sister and I made it through the years of hell our parents put us through.

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I am more myself in solitude.
For in solitude I am myself.
-(c)Melia Benjamin, August 2000

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