Memoir ideas

Going down fast

My husband says that I need to move on and just live my life and not care that my neighbors are hateful. I simply can't because I am an automatic friendship type of person. I also feel like a neighborhood watcher so it is in their best interest to like me.

Unfortunately if these peoples homes were to be smoking and flaming I would let their house burn. I can't be nice.

This is hell and now I am suffering because I am always tired no matter how much sleep I get at night. This is the first sign my depression is going through a downward cycle. The other is the feeling of numbness that I am going down down down.

I am thinking that if this keeps up I might have to call my doctor and see if she can suggest anything that can help.

All I want to do is crawl in a corner and wait for death to occur while holding my favorie bear Bosley.

I won't though becausw I know my childern need their mommy.

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I am more myself in solitude.
For in solitude I am myself.
-(c)Melia Benjamin, August 2000

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